Parents won't let me paint my kitchen cupboards

[Forfucksake84]

I currently rent a flat off my parents. I have 2 children and have outgrown the flat and my parents have bought a bigger house to accommodate us. I will still be paying rent, and will be having a rent increase. I'm incredibly grateful that my parents have helped me into a bigger home but I feel they (particularly my dad) are being quite controlling about the small adjustments I would like to make to it. When we first looked at the house they agreed to me painting the kitchen cupboards when I move in. At the moment they are a boring mdf colour and I wanted to paint them a nice light grey. My dad has now backtracked and said that they don't want them done at all, and that they are fine as they are but has given no reason for it. I just don't understand how it would affect them as it won't be them living there! He reluctantly agreed to remove the carpets in the bathrooms as I said it was a hygiene issue but even that was a struggle. He keeps reminding me that he is the landlord and that I need to ge permission to do anything but it feels like he is treating the house as an asset and me as a tenant rather than his daughter and I really feel like I'm not allowed to make any changes at all. Im due to move in in 3 weeks and it's making g me not want to move in at all...
For reference I am 40 and my parents re in their mid 70s

Why did you not buy it with them if you are paying their mortgage off? If they already had the house before you moved in then fair enough, but they bought the house for you to live in. Seems like a bonkers arrangement to me. They could have helped you be more financially secure

I'm not paying their mortgage off, they bought it outright

Perhaps she’s doing the very best she can.

And as an aside, it’s none of my never mind.

He probably wants to protect the asset, which is fair. Can you offer to get them painted professionally and see if he accepts that? It will cost you more but it's no doubt worth it. Kitchen cupboards are high wear and tear and can be a mess quickly if not done correctly.

Ask if they would allow the vinyl wrap easy to do and comes off without damage when you want it to

Yes but good landlords accommodates for their tenants and this tenant is landlord’s daughter as well.

Are they doing everything else by the book gas electric checks etc? Tbh if I could afford to buy a house outright I would be putting it into a trust for my grandchildren not charging my daughter rent

But that's me

Also carpets in the bathroom is minging glad you at least managed to get that removed

My dad would be like this 100% - he doesn’t care too much about decoration, he doesn’t have much of a creative eye or imagination so can’t picture anything beyond his own experience and he has a low opinion of my capabilities. Triple whammy.

We painted kitchen cabinets according to request of our tenants and paid for it.

Also, when we were renting, were able to paint at our own expense a hideous brown tiled fireplace mounting.

The fact they agreed first and changed their mind, and op is their daughter in 40s not a teenager makes them unreasonable.

You can't really return painted kitchen cupboard doors to what they were originally.
Landlord's prerogative to say he doesn't want the cupboard doors painted. It doesn't matter if OP thinks he's being nonsensical.

There are companies that wrap kitchen cabinets, I would do that. Probably same price as paying professional painting.
But I would move out and rent something else if I were you.
But I can say that because my DF would let me have them professionally painted or even new doors etc.
Agree with no carpet in bathroom, can’t believe it’s still in houses. I know it was fashionable in the 70’s.

Those says op is benefitting from the discount, parents are also benefiting from a trustworthy and easy tenant rather than a random person.

Do you have any sort of legal contract with them?

Still seems like a waste of money to me

Do you have siblings? If not id be tempted to tell them to sod off and I’d rent somewhere else.

You’re a single mum, why didn’t they just gift you the house? I get it if you have siblings but even then I don’t think they’d really care about the colour of your kitchen!

Sounds like he showing you that he is the boss. Nothing comes for nothing, there is always strings.

They will have to declare the rental income, keep property accounts and pay any tax due, including rental income and inheritance tax. They will have to comply with the letting regulatory environment. All this may be throwing money away, unless you have all thoroughly researched the situation. As @Mumrant123 says, this could be a bonkers arrangement. The costs of, for example, setting up a trust, though expensive, could be dwarfed by what they are going to be paying the state.

It's called spending the next decade or so in a house that feels like your home, not a temporary sleepover in a random building.

Honestly, just do it. What’s he going to do, throw you out?

I call it priorities over how you spend your money, but sure we all have different things that are important to us. If I was renting I wouldn't waste my money on this, I'd be putting it in savings.

100% agree.
I wouldn’t be thinking about wasting my money on painting kitchen cupboards here. I’d be speaking to an expert for advice on how you can get an investment out of this. Your parents are not being open and honest with you. The situation is not very clear, more so if they are buying the property outright: They obviously want a roof over your head but why are they buying it outright and not putting your name on it? Have they a separate pension as well? This could have been an opportunity to avoid some inheritance tax here and why are they avoiding it? Something doesn’t quite add up and you have been misinformed about something. You need to have a more serious conversation with your parents about investments long term, not about painting the stupid cupboards

I think it's pretty crappy of them to charge their own daughter that much on a house that they own outright. If I could buy my daughter a house outright I would. But it would be the same wherever you rented. Grey kitchens are awful and would date the house like popcorn walls and avocado bathrooms, so I can see their point if they do intend to sell it on at some stage.

More reason not to piss them off then!

They may have bought the property with capital and need the income from.that capital per month. Although I'm surprised given the parents age, they aren't putting it in their daughters (op) name jointly with them or putting it in a trust. Thus would avoid inheritance tax and/or care fees in the future.

Your a tenent even though they are your parents. Most landlords don't allow any alterations so I don't think they are being unreasonable at all.
If you was renting from a landlord they wouldn't let you paint the cupboards either.