Beyond fed up of DH’s dispute with neighbour

[JesssfirsttimeMum]

This has been going on for months now and it kicked off again earlier.

One of our neighbours on the opposite side of the street keeps parking his van opposite our drive. This can make it challenging for us to get on and off as it’s very tight.

DH raised initially - he said politely, I wasn’t there - and it stopped for a bit but then resumed. I have overheard two heated confrontations where DH goes out to speaks to him as he parks up.

Tonight, there was a right slanging match which became personal. The man appears to live alone and DH said it’s no wonder he’s on his own. He then said something inappropriate along the lines of ‘I’ll let you have a go on my missus if you ask nicely’ and then said he was joking and in his dreams.

Any advice? I’m sick of hearing about it!!

He said what??????

I hope this a joke post.

What an utterly revolting thing to say. Is he usually so crass?

This but if you’re a SAHM just get a job ASAP as you can’t be with a man who degrades you likes that one minute longer than necessary

Well your definition of what constitutes a joke and passes for banter is very different to mine! Love you to explain where the humour and wit was in this exchange 🙄

My advice - next time they start arguing, intervene and tell the neighbour he can have a go on your husband if he stops parking in your way. He doesn't even need to ask nicely. And don't forget to hand him a bottle of lube if you care for your husband even a little bit. Or a very large cucumber if you don't.

😆😆😆

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-somerset-61876925.amp

Anyone remember this? 2 murders over neighbour parking.
Your husband said an appalling, disrespectful thing and is being territorial about territory that isn't his 🤦‍♀️ Be careful this doesn't escalate.

He sounds like a misogynist pig, if he really said that. Also extremely homophobic and possibly lazy; why did he offer YOUR services (as if that were possible and as if it were up to him) and not his own?

That escalated quickly! At first I was thinking the neighbour sounds like a bit of a knob for refusing to park a bit further along to make it easier for you to get out of your drive, and so his van doesn't get knocked. I have no words for your husband's response though. I'm assuming it's not the first inappropriate, sleazy comment he's made about women.

I have neighbour that does this.

I've had dreams about attacking him.

I can understand your DH, batting l barring that distasteful joke.

Yes I would do the same.
In fact I had to do this a few years ago for a while in response to a CF neighbour and it worked .

You’re fed up with your husbands dispute? You shoUld be absolutely furious about what he said about you!

The pearl-clutching MN man-haters are out in force.

Guess what, he wasn’t actually offering his wife out for sex.

OP ignore it, if two grown men want to act like children over a parking spot, don’t let it bother you.

It’s all a bit unlikely.

He then said something inappropriate along the lines of ‘I’ll let you have a go on my missus if you ask nicely’ and then said he was joking and in his dreams.

I hate that men use the sexual use of women as an insult. Tell him if he wants to insult people tell them ‘I’ll let you have a go on my ME if you ask nicely’.

Or call him a father fucker (not the sexist motherfucker).

The parking is annoying but the comment he made about you is disrespectful and disgusting. You are not property to loan out. Id start parking where the van is and say it's too difficult to get on and off the drive with the van there. If you have drive, does your neighbour not have one too?

Ok so I think my understanding of it is this, this fella has basically taken your fellas parking spot across from the house, so the way your fella sees it, it’s open season in what ever else your fella perceives as his, this being you, so he waves his big flag of you’ll be wanting my Mrs next.
its words, and it does need stopping now, he’s being an idiot, the fella can park where he like, even he though he being a pain he clearly doesn’t care he blocking you in. Park your car there instead, to stop the hassle. He will get the message and if he says anything just advise I can’t get my car out when you park here, there’s no drama, you have been told this and ignored it, so now I park here instead. Tell your husband to keep his gob shut.

Soooo …. He basically offered to prostitute you to a neighbour he hates? Is that right?

Id be getting hubby to park somewhere else. His new home, where he lives, without you! He’s a misogynist.

What a horrible thing for your husband to say !!!
I’m disgusted , I’d be having words with the pair of them .
Can the van driver not pull up on his own drive or park so he isn’t making it difficult for you both to get your car off the driveway?
I used to live in a house that had a driveway just big enough for 2 cars if you were good at manoeuvres then you could get out ok onto the very narrow road .
Then ( these are old houses) neighbours started having renovations done so trades were parking right up to our driveway either side AND the elderly neighbour opposite decided to park right outside his gate all the time when he had a driveway just round the corner which still led directly to his house but the side door rather than the front door .
It was like some Top Gear challenge to manoeuvre out 😭
I politely asked the elderly neighbour if he could park back in his drive but he said his wife had mobility issues .
I couldn’t really argue with them but at the same time I absolutely couldn’t see the issue with them exiting the side door and directly into their car ?
It was a completely level surface.
So I took to parking away from my home on the next street ( wider ) and only brought my car onto the driveway at night .
I was in and out of the house running errands and collecting 3/4 children ☹️

Any advice?

Yeah your manchild husband is a lunatic and I’d be asking him does he need to see the GP.

Yup! This was what I was going to suggest. If it’s not a drop curb and not blocking his drive then you’re perfectly within your rights to park there…. Or park one of your cars opposite where he usually parks, blocking your own drive so there’s no room for him to park opposite.

They both have problems with the guy parking there, not just the man

Christ common sense and sense of humour is gone. He said something sarcastic in response to someone saying something to him. Mumsnet has just become a haven for extreme man hating.

Growing up we had a neighbour (opposite) who used to moan about people parking outside our house…. He made several elderly relatives cry, because he wouldn’t come out and ask nicely, but walk to the end of his drive and ‘have a go!’… my dad is pretty laid back but he had a right go at the bloke when he made my grandad cry! Anyway years later the first of us 4 kids passed our driving test!… my brother!… now my bro is an antagonist…. He always deliberately parked his car as far forward as he possibly could legally so that it was right opposite their drive .. the guy used to come flying out spitting feathers only to be mocked by my brother and told to calm down before he had a heart attack or told he shouldn’t be driving if he couldn’t get out of there etc….. it was a bit rude of my bro but after years of this bloke having a go he kind of deserved it!
Your DH needs to take less aggressive approaches, confronting this bloke is not working, and infact he’s now doing it just to piss your DH off…
You have 2 options in my view… wait till your DH is out, call over to van man’s yourself, apologise for your DH being a knob and ask if he could please just park slightly further back as a favour to you so you don’t have to listen to the dickhead going on and on about his parking… tell him your dickhead DH takes it out on you and hope he takes pity!! Tell your DH later that you popped over and had a polite chat and hopefully got through to the neighbours nice side.. then see if it stops.
IF it doesn’t stop then I’d park one or both of your cars outside your house so there’s nowhere left for him to park opposite!!… if he says anything politely say that his parking means you can’t get out of your drive once in so you’re having to leave cars on the road now… he’d probably rather park better than have to park his van down the road!

You sound like a DH yourself