Beyond fed up of DH’s dispute with neighbour

[JesssfirsttimeMum]

This has been going on for months now and it kicked off again earlier.

One of our neighbours on the opposite side of the street keeps parking his van opposite our drive. This can make it challenging for us to get on and off as it’s very tight.

DH raised initially - he said politely, I wasn’t there - and it stopped for a bit but then resumed. I have overheard two heated confrontations where DH goes out to speaks to him as he parks up.

Tonight, there was a right slanging match which became personal. The man appears to live alone and DH said it’s no wonder he’s on his own. He then said something inappropriate along the lines of ‘I’ll let you have a go on my missus if you ask nicely’ and then said he was joking and in his dreams.

Any advice? I’m sick of hearing about it!!

Aren’t jokes supposed to be funny?

My interpretation of events is as follows:

• husband pissed off with guy parking van in front of house
• neighbour DGAF about husband, continues to park
• husband gives reasons for neighbour not to park but neighbour says I’ll park wherever I want what you gonna do
• husband runs out of arguments, sees neighbour lives alone and attacks him on a personal level. feels that his parking behaviour contributes to him being single
• suggests neighbour can ride his wife to cheer him up as this will somehow lead to better parking courtesy

this is an example of ‘man math’

Your husband told the neighbour (and all other neighbours) that he could have sex with you if he stopped parking his van opposite your drive, which is legally parked anyway?

Even if this was meant to be a joke (??!!), I would be thinking very hard about my marriage. Totally unacceptable whichever way you look at it.

I wouldn't care less about the parking part if I heard my husband objectify me like that

This is exactly it.

Another bit of misandry from me I’m afraid. I’ve lived with 3 men in my life so far. My Dad and 2 male partners of 10+ years each. All 3 of them have had an issue with parking! So in my experience most men have a problem with parking and it’s ridiculous and part of the reason I believe women are superior in every single way. My Dad used to get mad if anyone parked at the end of his drive (perfectly legal and he was still able to get in and out, it caused very minimal inconvenience to him) but he was still furious every time it happened. Ex partner used to get mad that the neighbour parked in the ‘spare’ parking lay-by that you get on newer estates that are for anyone so again perfectly legal and a bit unfair that is was outside our window but hey that’s life. Current partner gets mad if someone has more than 2 cars in their family parked on our street - we have 3!!!! Make it make sense?!?

To summarise your husband is a twat but I think most of them are. I’m sure someone will come and tell me that’s not their experience I’m sure but if you have a good man don’t advertise him is my advice! Ha.

Man math 😂😂😂 like that one, ill use it myself (can't wait for the right context to pop up when I'm with my friends!)

@Overwhelmedandunderfed tbh I (female) have a problem with anyone parking outside my house but I argue with them in my head 🤣

I think his comment about his missus tells us all we need to know.

I'm sorry you have a husband like that and the other man seems like a right ass as well. I'd be mortified if my husband said that. I think I would probably end things or I would really be considering how he values you in this relationship. Xx that was really disrespectful.

Anyway, are you able to extend the gate/opening to the driveway so you can pull out at more of an angle? Unfortunately if it's the other side of the road I don't think there's any laws against it if it isn't a dropped curb. It's something we are currently considering as my partner has a really long Audi. I'm fine with my wee nissan note but we need one of use to have a car with a big boot as we've got a toddler and a baby.

Your husband said what now? Forget the parking, that’s minor compared to that statement

Hey OP

This man is doing nothing wrong and your husband is a misogynistic cunt.

Hth x

THIS!
Not sure the neighbour’s van is really the issue here OP 😂

Who's gonna win if these 2 cave men come to blows?

Parking is one of the most common causes for disputes and in many cases neither is wrong, more the roads weren't built to accommodate the amount of cars now. Still, some people are selfish and this is reflected by their choices to park.

"I’ll let you have a go on my missus if you ask nicely’ and then said he was joking and in his dreams.
Any advice? I’m sick of hearing about it!!"

This is how your husband speaks about you and your issue is that you are fed up of hearing about the dispute? Clearly you are focusing on the wrong problem, your husband is vile.

Park your own car in front of your house, not on your drive?
Talk to the council about making your dropped curb lower?
Retrofit 360 cameras?
Understand that your husband sees women as commodities to be traded, divorce him and get your own place where you can park in peace?

I’m so sorry that you are married to a man like this, said in jest or not. I’ve been married nearly 30 years and my husband has never said anything about me or disrespected me in such a way regardless of what it’s about. You need to dig deep and look at the bigger picture. Do you have children with him?

'Sorry, DH, when you said that my fanny clamped shut and I can't see it being available to anyone, you included, for the foreseeable future.'

And until he's sorts out the issue with the neighbour, politely, that would be goodnight from me.

Yet your comment was deleted.

It's really bizarre.

'Ill let you have a go on my missus'?!
Is that what men say to eachother while having a heated argument?! The mind boggles.

Tell him it's absolutely vile he said that. And it's not a joke. That you couldn't give a stuff about his row with the neighbour, but his comment is going to be very hard to forgive and forget.

Your husband crossed all lines there. What he said was not a silly joke. It was bluntly disrespectful. If my DH said that about me in a piss matching competition, his clothes would start flying out of the window. FFS.

Said whaaaaaat????

how on earth is that anything to do with parking in the first place? Your DH is proper vile.
Move out and leave DH with the neighbor.