On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

[SunnyBlueSeal]

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

Urgh yes she clearly Isn’t your friend, and doesn’t particularly like you. Her dh is busy so rather than spend time with you she has chosen your husband to be her
holiday buddy instead. Shit
of your dh to go along with it.

When did you injure yourself and when was the holiday planned?

This!

I'm a bit confused about why the kids are not tearing the misbehaving parents a new one.

An old friend of my Mum's once got mildly too friendly with her in front of my Dad and I nearly tore the ceiling down.

Tell Kate you’re worried because your husband keeps experiencing explosive diarrhoea and has shit his pants several times. 😉

I would flip my lid in your position. I’d pull her to one side and say it as it is, how would she feel should the shoe be on the other foot. Also would you in her position even do this? If that feels wrong to you then yes it’s wrong. Personally I wouldn’t have it, I’d be saying she needs to stay behind and watch over the kids so you can go out with your husband and have some quality time with him, then when you are out see what the vibe is a women’s instinct is always right…

Yeah why can’t you go out for dinner just your family? It’s not unreasonable. You don’t even need to say to the other family.

and show your hubby this thread.

Are you ok being so passive? You’re being disrespected and rather than say something to them both, you’re quietly seething and planning a separation?

Id be saying something to Neil over dinner “hey Neil, so what do you make of your wife and husband getting so close? I’m not even getting invited to activities now, should we be worried?” (deadpan face).

What is positive about the situation op has talked about? Should someone instead say
Dont worry about it, let it happen and have a great holiday and see what happens when you get home .im sure everything with be perfect
She needs to make them both aware that this is not acceptable now while its happening .
Myself id ditch them both , even if they are not physically cheating yet all the signs are there he prefers the friend to his wife

Hope your able to find a way to enjoy some of this holiday OP. You are certainly not being unreasonable!!

As I’ve learned from experience, this is why passive types get walked all over. Kate will obviously know this and is taking full advantage. OP’s DH sounds like a selfish twat and he obviously also knows that op will tolerate more than she should. I just hope, with this thread that op will finally confront the pair of them! They sound absolutely vile!

Are you fking joking, how dare they carry on like this, you’re a saint for not pulling her up.

Jesus I am fuming for you. Disgusting behaviour from the both of them. They obviously are completely unaware of how transparent they are.

you’re a better woman than me because I’d have had to embarrass her infront of everyone.

Both of them can get in the bin. I’d not be able to look at DH the same after this show.

Oh I would so enjoy making her fucking squirm.

I’d be asking her to help me with something (drinks from the bar, whatever) and would really quietly and with a smile on my face say ‘The fuck you think you’re playing at? Don’t fuck with me sweetheart, you’ve got zero chance of winning. And don’t fret, I’ll be having this chat with my husband too’. I’d smile sweetly again before waltzing back to the table / wherever.

People like Kate thrive on others not saying anything but doing it quietly, without making a scene will leave her speechless and spluttering. She will DIE inside.

And then makes plans for a day out tomorrow with just your husband and kids.

I wondered the same!

I feel the same. So sorry Op, they’re both so inconsiderate. If I were you, I’d focus on having a good time with your DCs & make plans to ditch your DH when you get back.

I'd also be steaming if I was left on my own on a family holiday by DH like this. Absolutely furious.

This and it's really exacerbated his haemorrhoid problem.
Only last night when you and your husband were making love, he got caught short and you had to strip rather bed.

That is almost unbelievably rude. You wouldn’t do that to a casual friend on holiday with you. And why didn’t the children wonder where mum was??

I would go home

Arrange some time away from your villa with your husband. Your children can look after themselves for a few hours. Fill the rest of your time away with your husband. Trust your gut.

I’m not being passive, as many of you mentioned, I’m asking for advice because I wasn’t sure how to feel about the situation. And from the comments, my DH is shit and my friend is more shit.
My DH and DC just got back from dinner with the other friends. I texted Kate saying that we enjoyed spending time with them but we want to spend tomorrow as a family and we can see them for a drink tomorrow night before we have dinner. I texted that on our WhatsApp group with her DH. If she arranges something with my DH privately, then I know something is definitely up and I will be pulling this us in front of all of them

I think op needs to be trying to find out what DH and Kate said to the children. They probably told them that op was in a grumpy mood and didn’t want to go, hence why they have been telling op to be nice to their dad. I bet the pair are manipulating the DC

Is she very pretty/glamorous and maybe your husband is flattered by the attention ?

Even without an affair, I’d be on a plane home.

OP’s Dh is a selfish inconsiderate arse. Sod that for a game of soldiers

No one can tell you how you should feel.

Your own feelings are your own feelings. And they are valid either way.

If you don’t mind their behaviour- then you don’t mind. Fair enough.

But if you do mind their behaviour and it’s upsetting you then you need to grow some balls and call both of them out. Face to face. Confront the cunts!

Sounds like she fancies your husband and he’s enjoying the attention!