On holiday and I don’t know if I’m unreasonable!

[SunnyBlueSeal]

I’m really hoping for some perspective here. We are currently in Spain with my friends for a holiday. It’s us ( myself, DH and DC 14,16 ) and my friends ( Kate, Neil, DC 14,17) obviously names are changed. Kate was my friend for a few years through the activities. They invited us for a holiday with them. We booked two different villas about 5min walk from each other and right on the beach. Since we got here, Kate and my DH are spending more and more time together. This is our full third day here, and so far today, they met running at 7am and booked a spontaneous paddle boarding for themselves at 10am. We were all on the beach later and went for a lunch. I went back to the villa to get some plasters and they both turned up. My DH said he is changing his top as he and Kate will walk to the town to get a few bits. All of the DC are spending their time on the beach learning windsurfing with the local club so I don’t need DH to help with childcare. Kate’s husband Neil has a work project to do so he spends about 5 hours a day working in their villa. I’m starting to feel like a 3rd wheel to my friend and my DH. I’m getting grumpy when I’m around them and I don’t want to push him away but I don’t know how to get out of this mood. And another thing which got me thinking is at the dinner, Kate asked for a sparkling water and my DH said he wants some too. He never drank fucking sparkling water but when I pulled him on it, he said it’s because I only drink a still water so he did too. So for years you were drinking still water because of me? Have a sparkling water if you want! Something is feeling odd and I can’t put my finger on it

Kate instigated this whole thing and invited your family on holiday because she fancies your dh! She is absolutely brazen, I would not trust her an inch. Dh also 1000% in the wrong here but I feel like Kate is clearly a two faced conniving bitch and is no friend at all. I’m fuming for you.
I would talk to them separately and put a stop to it. But how can you trust dh now, he seems very happy to go along with all of this with Kate - if they are not shagging already you still can’t trust them not to keep in touch once you get home

This ☝️ in a nutshell 💯

Can you have a sneak through his phone maybe? Xx

Don't blame yourself. You haven't done anything wrong. Kate is an absolute snake in the grass and is behaving like a teenage girl with a crush, turning up at 11pm in a short dress that hardly covers her bum. JFC she's a grown woman on holiday with her DH and kids, making a play for your husband in front of all the kids.

Clearly Kate is bored and feeling deserted by Neil who shouldn't be working on his fucking family holiday. Your DH is probably trying to be nice, feels sorry for her and is flattered by the attention. It's one thing to take pity on Kate, but he's forgetting he's married to you. Why tf can't Neil go for a run with Kate before he starts work?

You need to have a word with your DH about constantly leaving you on your own. You could even say you feel he's on holiday with Kate and you are just fucking childcare and it's not on.

This reads like you are insinuating that Kate is after your husband.

Do you think that @SunnyBlueSeal ?

It can be hard to wrestle with uncomfortable feelings - like your friend is after your husband, and he is acting up to it - the fact that this has only just been relayed indicates perhaps you think this way?

Bloody hell, she is brazen isn't she?!

Don't doubt yourself, this woman is betraying your trust.

Also this ☝️ needs to be said 💯

I would like this NOT AT ALL. How is Kate's manner towards your DH, and vice versa? Are they matey, or do they flirt? Have you noticed any glances, touches etc?

I think if they were already having an affair they'd be careful not to do this sort of stuff and try and make out they're just mates, whilst if they're not but it's ramping up, you'd probably be noticing some signs. Of course, it's not totally outside the realms of possibility that they actually don't fancy each other (or more likely, that one doesn't fancy the other), but it's not really very likely because if that were the case then this behaviour would be totally baffling. At best it's rude and thoughtless, and I assume you'd already know if your DH was that way inclined.

Apart from Kate and op’s DH took the kids with them to lunch without inviting op. So op isn’t always for childcare

don't you think both@SunnyBlueSeal's husband and "Kate" are making Sunny look foolish?

He doesn't seem to give a damn, he's lapping up the attention.

How was your relationship before this holiday @SunnyBlueSeal? I expect you may have been completely blindsided!

She is really fucking rude.

And your h is being a dickhead too.

You need to say something.

I’m sorry this is happening to you.

I am finding this a bit unbelievable.
That you would allow your children witness this, and comment on it.
Two days ago your children commented on it and you are looking for validation from MN?
Deal with your husband.
Your poor mortified children.

Wheee is her hubby if she is turning up late at night at your villa in a short dress …is he still working ??

Yes, I agree with this. A quiet chat over dinner just saying you feel left out and it's not the holiday you thought it was going to be.

Are you all into competitive sports? that can skew priorities quite a bit, keeping up the "training" in the absence of an injured party.

What are Kate and Neil like around each other?

Is Kate trying to make Neil jealous?

She is disrespecting you I’d tell her to do one …you are being way too placid and timid …this is outrageous…

I’m thinking like you

This is giving White Lotus...

I'm hoping it's more innocent, but that they are both flattered by each others attention. But you are not having a holiday at all! And that isn't on! This is your friend and your husband and you are on your own for hours - how in the giddy heck has this seemingly escaped their notice?

Please try not to be livid / angry / sad, and ruin what is left of your (and your kids) holiday. Ask what the plans are for the next day when you are all together. If they suggest sporty stuff tell them straight, that doesn't work for me. And just repeat that same sentence - that doesn't work for me. Do you have any suggestions as to what you might like to do that the others would enjoy? And as others have said, maybe suggest just you and your DH spend some time together. Please try not to hold the grudge and make him wish he were with her, though, eh? Your holiday too, try and enjoy what is left.

Your OH is lapping up the attention and needs a rude awakening…

Okay, I am probably reaching a bit here but it sounds as though she craves attention which makes me wonder if her relationship isn’t going so well. Perhaps HER dh is having an affair ( all those hours at the office - even while on holiday). Perhaps her marriage is f*ed and she want to fuck yours up too.

I think it’s a ghostly thriller, the husband died some time ago. There is no one working at the computer…..

Yeah, that’s what I’m like. I will never do ‘pick me’ and I’m already planning my exit ( out of the marriage and the fucking holiday in Spain ) Not because of Kate. She is a shit friend but I don’t know her on the deep level. He is the inconsiderate one

I’d be asking Kate and Neil outright over dinner if they’d like you and your DH to look after all the DCs so they can spend some quality time together tomorrow as they’ve not had any time alone this holiday and if they’d repay the favour the following day so you and DH can have some alone time as well. You could even follow it up with a flippant comment that you feel you’d have nothing to tell people about your holiday when you get home as you've been alone for most of it and Neil must be feeling the same.