AIBU to think that 'patriarchy chicken' isn't the whole story?

[AliceMaforethought]

Hear me out, as I reckon that this will be an unpopular opinion, but I am keen to know if my experience is just me or if others experience the same.

I hear a lot on this site about 'patriarchy chicken': simply put, the admirable notion that women deserve to take up space and not have to stand aside for men. Last week, I was in London, (I'm from a smaller UK city) I was STAGGERED by the utter lack of spatial awareness of women. I am a woman, for context: youngish (I'm 42 but look a lot younger) I found women knocked into me constantly and let their kids blunder into me and other people. I didn't have a problem with men at all. The other thing that I did notice was that all these women were white, and were all ages from young to late middle age (old women weren't an issue at all) I am mixed race. Before anyone thinks that I was the problem and was just out of my depth in London, that isn't the case. I am a trained dancer, I have a lot of spatial awareness, and I am used to London even though I haven't lived there for a while. I am starting to wonder if I need to play 'white supremacy chicken'!

I actually think that "selfish dickishness chicken" has become the norm across all sectors of society. Black, white, young, middle class, working class. People seem to have been induced into a zombiefied state. Any semblance of good manners or awareness of surroundings or other people has completely evaporated. Being glued to their mobile obviously has accentuated this and digitally lobotomised them.

My mum announced that she was 'no longer going to step out of the way for men'.

I guess a lifetime of public faffing, spatial blindness and walking at a snails pace regardless of location gets a free pass 🤣

I was pissing myself. Women of my mother's demographic are truly the most blocking, barging, blindly ignoring, finding their pursuing and taking their timing of all humanity.

Would genuinely love to know the answer to this seeing as racism against white people doesn't exist 🙄

😂😂😂

You still haven't answered my question as to whether you believe that sexism against men/misandry exists.

OK took me a while to catch up with the term and I do live rurally so it doesn't really come up that often but I'm assuming it's about when you are walking in opposite directions and one person needs to move out of the path of the other and generally both people move a little but some just don't move.
Yes I'd say I do observe this behaviour more often in men not moving for women, older people expecting younger people to move. I'm often quite scruffy and I think more dressed up people seem to expect scruffy people to move. But as I mentioned the most I've noticed is that adults always expect children to move including youngish toddlers who aren't that steady or my disabled son who also isn't steady. I'm sure it does happen racially as well. I always feel people should move out of the way of infirm people and otherwise everyone else should just generally move round each other. Lots of people are rude though.

Racism to white people definitely does exist! I made the mistake of letting my daughter go to a grammar school that was quite multicultural. The blacks and Asians were so badly racist to the white girls. It was rather horrifying.

Are you very attractive OP? This sounds completely ridiculous but I think women subconsciously (or maybe not) do this if they see a woman as competition. It used to happen to me all the time when I was young. Best thing to do is stand still when you see someone heading towards you and they will walk around you.

I hate to say it, but yes. I am. That's probably why men are nicer, as well. I'll probably find them being less nice as I age.

I realise I'm being ignored (is it because of my assumed race/sex?!) but in case anybody's interested, I do think that sexism against men also exists 💁. Does that take us any further?

I wasn't ignoring you, I asked @Devilsmommy

I was in town the other day and there was this really odd mixed race middle-aged woman who kept barging into white women. She clearly thought she was quite something as she kept making eyes at all the men - they'd leap out of her way looking startled, poor things.

I then came onto MN and there was a peculiar thread where some bloke conjured up a mad scenario which apparently occurred in some undefined part of 'London', where he proceeded to babble on about 'misandry'. Very bizarre.

What actually did happen the other day is that two muslim women came out of a shop without looking and barged straight into me. I assumed they were just too busy talking to observe their surroundings, but maybe I was actually the victim of a racist attack. I'd probably best report it.

Ah right, maybe you missed my question @AliceMaforethought?

I notice it WAY more when I'm running (in skimpy running gear) and/or in the summer when I've worn crop tops, shorts etc. I hadn't really made the link before now.

I worked in a school where white staff (as there are no longer any white pupils at all, which in itself is telling) are very much in the minority.

There was a time when the pupils took to stepping on their feet when they were on duty, knocking into them on the corridor and pushing past them at their classroom doors.

That is absolutely disgusting!!

I also wear sunglasses when I run, which for some reason makes people think you can't see them, and the amount of pursed lips, side-eyes and general cat's bum mouths I see is... interesting. (I am a thoughtful runner who keeps out of people's way etc!) Almost always from older women. Younger women give me a solidarity nod if they acknowledge me at all, younger men sometimes the same. Older men, unfortunately sunglasses mean they think I can't see them ogling, but whatever.

I'm British mixed race and my parents' marriage was a scandal because of my dad marrying a white woman. (My family has progressed and changed since then, but the sentiment is still common.) Part of the worry was that they said she would never be accepted and their children wouldn't either. The fact you can just make a casual statement like that really speaks to your ignorance - or maybe your inability to see beyond yourself.

But that's her experience. Do you think she should lie about it to spare your feelings?

I don't live in London, but I'm doubtful that the average white woman living there is choosing whether or not to go bumping into people on the basis of their race. And it's rather racist to suggest that they are.

I do this with royals. I call it coronation chicken.

Where in London exactly was this? Different area of London have very different dynamics - some are cultural too. If you were in some parts of south London you'd get hippy dippy mummies not bothering to teach young Ptolemy his manners and letting him career all over the place. Other parts it will be white men, other parts ethnic men. Other parts large family groups from a range of white and non white backgrounds who think it is acceptable to walk 5-7 abreast if the path will accomodate it and sod anyone coming in the opposite direction.

If it was Oxford Street then the white women were probably frazzled local workers trying to run around doing errands on their lunch break.

BTW the point of patriarchy chicken is not to barge into men but to not move out of their way as they walk towards you in the middle of the pavement. It has never been possible to play patriarchy chicken on Jermyn Street as the men tend to get out of your way - very easy game to play around the Inns of Court though.

It changes, I'm in my 70s and young men are lovely to me. I always think they must love their granny so are nice to old ladies.

I want to know where everyone lives where diving out of the way is necessary and people are constantly bumping in to each other. It seems like bumper cars on foot! Is it really that difficult to walk down the street??

Living in London, tourists are annoying, cyclists on pavement worse, and people staring at their phones while walking is irritating. I don't really notice a massive difference in race or sex. As long as I'm walking confidently and keeping my eyes front, I avoid trouble!

My top tips for walking are: look where you're going, look for gaps, if someone is walking towards you then just move out of the way - you'll be in someone's way before long and they'll be grateful, and don't join in with stupid games! I've somehow managed to walk without being mowed down!

Exactly that.