thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

yes it did start like that Quattro - and that is exactly the pathetic kind of point i am referring to.

Was my post not clear?
i think both sides have certain posters who stifle the important points at issue with thier bitching.
TBH the whole fact that this is a two sided issue pisses me off. I want my daughter to be able to make choices in her life and broadly , as long as they are legal and meet her needs , emotionally, financially and spiritually then i hope she will not endlessly have to justify it. I suspect she will.

I think most people want fulfilling lives. And that means having choice. And being adaptable to whatever life throws at you, and whatever phases you go through. I'm sure riven never expected her life to turn out like it has, but she gives the impression of getting on and dealing with it and trying to maintain a positive outlook. None of us know what is around the corner. Life is about embracing opportunities and achieving our potential in all aspects. And hopefully being a role model for our children to aspire to that too.
If that's called 'having it all', count me in.

oh it's lovely to be around when they are school age

and they still need you, no matter what, in many ways, I find mine need more of my input now

I miss my kids since I've been back at work full time. Strangely enough, I find I miss catching up with their friends too

that said, I'd be bored out of my mind stuck at home all the time and I couldn't find a compromise option

I don't really care what people do with their time. In fact, I have been most touched by my SAHM/SAHD friends who have called me up and unequivocally told me that if ever an emergency arises, they would more than happily have my kids at short notice etc. That's the way people should be with each other I reckon. Supportive of each other's choices.

Quattro
When I was a working mum one of my staff said "gosh I just think you are so great returning to work when you know everyone will think you hate your baby".
And when i stopped working another said "don't start calling in all the time with the line up from This Morning will you ha ha ". Yep - both women.

I can't find insults on this thread directed to women who chose to, swiftly not school age, return to work....

Their choice that is, not them!!

tee hee, findthe... I was earning £60k before I gave up work and could start back at that level when and if I feel like it.....thems the breaks, bloody hell I must be so stupid and thick. Dp was earning 3 times that and feels little pressure, arriving home to bath the children every night. Phew what a choice????

then this thread is a strange and unusual exception....

Salary is not an indication of smart. Have you heard most footballers speak.....

posie, gosh, your life sounds touched. I am so envious. That IS what you want me to say?

posieparker, what a crass post.

Work should not be a dirty word. Many many women gain huge fulfilment from it. They lead nations, perform surgery, run hedge funds or even just have fun giving good customer service in a local shop. Women have always worked and always will.

If a woman has a husband or female partner who is prepared to support her financially when the children are at school and until she draws her pension at 65 then that's their choice as a couple and plenty of men would like the chance to be at home sometime too and in a 40 year marriage couples often do swap over and one works and the other doesn't. What is not acceptable is for men or women to claim state benefits when they could work and their children are at school but that's a different issue.

What our daughters and sons most need are good examples of those many happy working men and women with families so they can see most of us work, like it most of the time and have happy family lives. This is what most women have and want and yet you get pathetic press articles always on about women wanting to work 2 hours a day and that woman equals someone who doesn't want a career, just pin money.

Posie you were only earning a third of what your husband earned? No wonder it was you that got stuck at home then.

what is your problem posie??? You come across as constantly disatisfied and full of pent up anger??
So you earned 60K. Big deal. Are we all supposed to be impressed??
Your DH earns 3 x as much and feels no pressure and baths the kids every night. Bully for him!!

You seem desperate to convince us all of something....

@ posie

riven - fine!!

I don't understand the relevance, posie, of your post beginning "tee hee" and remarking that you once earned 60K and that your partner earned more than that etc.

I would mind terribly if my children didnt have aspirations riven. Within the limits of their abilities. If they want to live in a yurt - fine. Go fruit picking - fine. Earn multi millions - fine.
But to me, having aspirations - things you want to experience - are the stuff of life. And it's a simple fact that qualifications, training (along with all the other hugely important factors such as getting along with others etc) open doors to greater choices. And when you have options, then you have CHOICE. But I would be terribly sad to feel that my children had no hopes, no aspirations.

oh posie. Step away girl. You are way to intent on making clever points on here but you are making yourself look a little foolish now. Posting your salary is really crass and the tee hee's - well lack any elegance really. You will regret posting such nonsense I think.

I'm off to watch Dr Who....

Riven. We have a perspective don't we. happy is what counts. As happy as you can be while you can....when and how you can.

I totally agree with that sentiment riven. That's why I phrased my post very carefully: I want my children to have aspirations. I have my own.
I think it's terribly unhealthy for parents to have specific aspirations for their children. It's unfair. They are their own people, with their own lives to lead. I don't mind what they do, as long as they have choices open to them, and they are happy. But I would be very sad if they didn't have their dreams of what they want to experience in life.

But Xenia, most of this thread has been dominated by "woman equals someone who doesn't want a career, just pin money." so it's hardly surprising that there are press articles about it.

PP By a singularly odd coincidence, last year I earned three times what my husband earned. He didn't choose to give up work though. Work should, in an ideal world, not be just about money. It should be about having a happy and fulfilled and energetic experience - making a positive contribution - all that stuff.