thinking its mad, how everyone assumes your going to return to work, when your dcs start school?

[milkgoddessmakesthefinestmilk]

im not planning to, i want to be the one that takes dd to school picks her up from school is there if shes sick or on holiday.

don't school children have about 3 months of hols a year?

riven, I was just stating saying that I am younger than poorman, not that 40 is old.
Funny that she's not added her age to her post.

pp, poorman is probably one of those women that desperatley says, how old do you think i look? trying to get others to guess then getting offended when they guess older.

so, poorman how old are you then?

Oh for Heaven's sake what are you all up to? This thread now reads like a transcript of an episode of Grange Hill or something.

I'm younger than you na na na na na
Shows how much YOU know (sticks out tongue)
Oooooh (aside to friend) I bet she's THIS type of girl
Bitchy sniggers all round

For fuck's sake why allow a discussion to degenerate into a shrill bitching session? Address the issues.

1. Is it mad for people to assume the OP would go back to work when her children reached school age?

Yes, no, maybe.

1. Do SAHMs fill their days with useful activities including intellectual pursuits?

Yes, no, maybe.

1. Does work as a concept have worth, over and above the bringing in of money to fund family life?

Yes, no, maybe.

1. Isn't it the case that there are exceptional SAHMs who do a huge amount of atypical work?

Yes, no, maybe.

1. Isn't it the case that there are working mothers who still manage to evoke a glimmer of recognition in their children's faces?

Yes, no, maybe.

What a surprise, another SAHM/ WOHM deathmatch.

Is it any wonder that men run the show when intelligent women can't have a conversation without ripping each other to shreds?

Thank heavens for ILTMM before I remove the Watch from this thread.

1. Yes
2. Useful activities, yes, intellectual activities,maybe, if you include Jeremy Vine...
3. Yes
4. Yes
5. Yes

Don't we all do what works best for us? Some people have more choice than others but show me the mother who does not try to do what on balance seems best for the family.

why does stayong at home with kids always come back to Jeremy Vine?

when my kids were small I hadn't time to turn the tv on!

Well PigpenPete exackly.

And if women were more supportive of each other's choices (that cuts BOTH ways) there would be less shrieking.

Well PigpenPete exackly.

And if women were more supportive of each other's choices (that cuts BOTH ways) there would be less shrieking.

sorry

no wonder they think its dull to SAH, if thats what they would do, watch jeremy vile

Well he's on the "wireless" ssd so turning on the tv wouldn't have helped you anyway!

Jeremy Vine is not the same person as Jeremy Kyle.

1. Maybe
2. Maybe
3. Maybe
4. Maybe
5. Maybe

excellent name ssstfs

maybe thats why I didn't see him on the tv!

Posiewhatyername quote:
'I was just stating saying that I am younger than poorman, not that 40 is old.'

• er... you still haven't explained how you know my age!! Your posts are so f**!ing stupid!!! (or have you been on the bottle again!)

Quote from milky OP:
'pp, poorman is probably one of those women that desperatley says, how old do you think i look? trying to get others to guess then getting offended when they guess older.'

• yeah right. Cos of course you know all about me don't you? When you have no reasonable point of view, why not throw out a totally pointless bitchy comment.

Honestly, you two are a total joke, and do decent, intelligent SAHM no favours at all. I'm not surprised you two don't work - you wouldnt last 2 minutes.

'well when dd goes to school, if i wanted to i could get some locuming work, pays about 25 to 30 pound an hour, but i don't need to or want to.

so, ner ner ner ner!! '

• best post on the thread. If you want evidence that being a sahm turns you into a sad bint who thinks 25 quid an hour is something impressive to boast about... look no further. Get a life milkgoddess.

In response to ILiketoMarmiteMarmite's questions

1. No - really, what is mad about it?
2. Yes
3. Maybe - depends on the job of course.
4. Yes - but I am not sure that this thread is about atypical SAHM. Riven for example, is not just a SAHM but a carer with responsibilities over and above what most SAHM have.
5. No - Yes of course but is a glimmer of recognition enough?

I find it very strange that SAHM are being asked to say what they do all day? Why is that relevant and what do WOHM do all day apart from MN? Surely the value of what they do all day is not constantly priceless, not unless the world of work has changed beyond all belief since I last worked.

Actually, the WOHM's smugness on this thread is totally counterproductive as I am supposed to be going back to work PT in September, when my youngest starts school and now I really really don't want to.

I don't want to spend all day with women who think the way these women do and who are going to look down their noses at me. It is going to be hard enough having to conform to somebody else's rules of when and where I work and what I do, having had a mind of my own for the last few years, without having to deal with people who only have a sense of identity through their work and who don't have the wits to use their brains in any other way than by going to work.

I have just written a huge response and then deleted it. All I want to say is that this is one of the most counterproductive arguements I have ever read. And the reason feminism constantly hits a brick wall. Who cares? Each to their own and we all do what we need to do for our own families. Why judge that?

N.B. For all those that think SAHMs are a little bit, well, dim. I'm taking my kids to the MOMA today. Does that come under the prerequiste intellectual stimulation?

Whoa there findblah, I was referring to your age because I have stated that I have time to persue my career whe my children all go to school. Judging from your posts I'm guessing you had travelled far in your career, and did not want to give that up, prior to having children. Whereas I had done well in the time before children but considering my desire to stay home, and capable of doing so, I felt that I had enough time to catch up after pre-school children.
Whether I explain or not about your age I think I'm right and besides you haven't denied it. You ask questions, like how do you know about my age, as if they're relevant.
If you insist on saying that I'm pissed when I am pregnant, and you know I am, I can oly assume you drank alcohol throughout your pregnancies or that you are trying to be really offensive.
Perhaps if you could just admit that all women have a right, where able, to choose to WOHM or be a SAHM without any other label beig attached to them you would be happier. I just don;t understand why a SAHM deserves so much disrespect and insult from you.

Niecie don't worry. This thread is not representative of the way most WOHMs think (any more than I can imagine SAHMs would choose Milkgoddess as their diplomatic envoy)

I work PT and love it. I work with a varied group of men, childfree women and other mums. Nobody looks down their nose at anyone else, or if they do they keep it to themselves because we are all interested in getting on with the job. (contrary to your suggestion that WOHMs spend all day on MN!)

On my days at home I see friends I have had since DD's birth, many of whom are SAHMs. We are good friends and don't waste time questioning each other about our choices or scoring cheap points.

Threads like this are pointless and divisive and I'm not really sure why Milkgoddess started it when-if I have understood correctly- the school issue is not relevant to her for another 4 years or so.

I can't believe this thread is still going. I'm loving quattro, but where is daddy cool? Come back.

Working mums rule! We are all clearly much more intelligent and therefore will win all arguments.

hashim, tongue in cheek, right? The use of blah blah rule and intelligent in the same post?!!

posieparker - it's getting VERY tedious explaining to you again... but... you are the one who brought up the age issue! I have never said it's relevant in any way whatsoever! You asserted as a fact that you are a lot younger than me, which is clearly a very thick thing to say when you don't know how old I am at all!! Whether I'm younger, older or born on the same frigging day as you is not relevant!! The point I am making is that when you post things as a fact that are as daft as this, it rather proves the point that you have nothing useful to say.
And your last post about how you are 'guessing' I had traveled far in my career, and how you 'have enough time' blah blah blah is another pile of shite, because once again, you haven't got a clue! Some people spend 15 years progressing very slowly in their career; others rise meteorically.
Re: the alcohol- I am not trying to be offensive; I am trying to be charitable!! The only way some of your posts can be excused are if you're pissed!
Finally, if you bother to read the thread, you will find that I don't insult women's choice, or SAHM, or call them thick.(Well, apart from you posie as you have proved that yourself). Incidentally those are all terms which I have seen levelled at SAHM on various threads, and I don't agree with them. My posts have described what I perceive to be the benefits of working, and also how it can be perfectly possible to combine the lovely things of home life with the lovely things about working.
In fact when you accused me of the same thing the other day, posieparker, ie slagging off SAHM, I challenged you to find a post on the thread where I had done that. You said you' couldnt be bothered'!! Yes, how convenient!!
For the record, I believe that if women have a choice, then that is fine, as long as they are aware of the potential disadvantages that their choice may bring. I also feel it's hugely important to have that choice, which is why I value education, training, and having an interesting career. It makes choices far more possible than if you get trapped in a low paid and low status situation.
I have friends who work and friends who don't (temporarily while they have very little children). That's fine. No problem. They are not stupid or thick or whatever else pp is trying to say.
Posieparker - you are not typical of SAHM. You clearly have some huge issues going on, not sure what, but your posts make you come across as bitter and disatisfied and incoherent at times.