Would you charge your parents rent in these circumstances?

[TheSummerof25]

Long story short for the past 8 years my parents have stored (both inside and out) a number of large items/vehicles at our house. One in particular (a huge caravan) blocks our view and I WFH, without it, i have a lovely open aspect and can watch my chickens and the wildlife on my front from my office window. With it, all I can see is the bloody caravan. They know we don’t like it, we’ve reluctantly tolerated it because they’re our parents.

They do help with childcare, but tbh it’s got to the point where they moan so much and have other priorities we don’t bother asking, for example over the summer I’ve just sent them to clubs where they should have been with parents because their apathy was so apparent - it was four days of the summer I’d asked for.

We look after their pets when they go away, we pay a sitter for ours as we know “how busy” my retired parents are. Whereas we just slot it in.

When I bought a house early in my career, I with much lower pay, they lent me £35k for the deposit. I paid it back within 4 years (moved in with now DH and sold my house) but they charged me “rent” proportionally to the value of the house before it sold. DH always thought this was mean. Both parents retired at 55 and have had several inheritances which have mostly funded the stuff dumped at our house - my point they’re comfortable and have reliable income streams.

Now we’re moving, into a house with an income stream to support retirement plans and they have assumed they can continue to store all their junk, but not only that, want an upgrade of dry storage for all items. Storage is used by the business and so there is a loss associated with letting them have that for free. I said they could get planning and build their own barn, but they don’t want the expense. DH has looked and storage for all their items is easily in the region of £350 per month if not more. He said they can store it but they have to pay - like they charged me rent. This move is a huge investment from us and is with a long term view.

I’m reluctant to charge them, but equally don’t think waterproof items which are now stored outside should be prioritised for items we actually need to store for the business. It will create a gap for us. Parents think we could just make it work. Although haven’t enquired how.

YABU - you can’t charge your parents storage
YANBU - they’ve had 8 years free and can put their hands in their pocket.

All well and good, but what was ‘gone by the end of the month’ Seems to have, by @TheSummerof25‘s patents , already been pushed to before moving day…
They have no intention of taking back their stuff…,,from their point of view, ‘where’s the fun in that?’

The more I read about OP’s parents, the more I just want to put a match to all their stuff.

why do they keep buying stuff and not using it, but leaving at your house instead?

This is typical hoarder behaviour.

Haven’t read the whole thread, but the charging of rent on actually quite a small deposit contribution and then dumping all their stuff at your house is kind of taking advantage. They treated the deposit/rent thing very transactionally, you can do the same now and it should be fine.

"they said they have a skip on the drive right now"

Gosh how convenient - are you not tempted Op? I know I would be😈

That's awful. Loving parents should want the absolute best for their children. The saying that as a parent, you are only ever as happy as the least happy of your children obviously doesn't apply to your parents. They, particularly your mum, are in competition with you and instead of being proud of your achievements, they want to bring you down a peg or two. I'd definitely see much less of them.

Well an update for anyone interested, still not moved the bloody van and keep asking when we move.

They’re using it this weekend and I said it’s not coming back - but they said my DS is using it soon (my brother is taking him away with his family for a night early September). I said my brother is using it too so park it on his drive then. That really annoyed me that they were making out I should keep it because of DS?

Me and DH have never used the van. Ever. DH is moving it on the grass each time he mows the lawn which is really bloody unfair.

I text them after they’d left and said have you sorted storage. We said the end of this month.

Other thing is I knew they were coming but I was busy working when they arrived, kids settled. Can sometimes get an hour or two over the summer hols whilst kids (4 and 6) play. DS6 sits next to me colouring and chatting. Kids wanted to speak with them but they didn’t want to supervise but had their dogs and our dog was playing with theirs - I always supervise kids and dogs so it was really disruptive!

When your db takes it, put your cars on any space there is to park it, so when he returns there’s no where for him to leave it.

I’d love to, but unfortunately for this occasion we have ample room so we couldn’t block it out.

What I really don’t want is massive track marks in the lawn if we have a heavy downpour for our buyers.

You’ve made it clear it’s not to come back.

Has the skip gone from their own drive yet?

Do you have a gate you can change the locks on?

@Beammeupscotty2025 no the skips still there - but they aren’t living in that house, they’re living elsewhere whilst they renovate and they could put it on that drive. Like DH says none of this is our issue. Also the skip is on the concrete - they have a big lawn they can park it on at house 1 - they won’t want to mess their lawn up though 🤣

You’ll have to make it clear that it will be dumped on the road if it’s not gone before you leave.

Sort out childcare so she does none - this is one of the reasons why parents doing regular childcare often does not work.

They have really taken the proverbial. Their sense of entitlement regarding your property is astonishing.

Can you lock your gate and change the code/lock?

@Maray1967 i wasn’t relying for them for childcare. We were all settled at home and it was only them arriving that disrupted us. They wanted to prat about with their van ignoring the kids. But I felt I needed to supervise if they weren’t going to - which then meant I had to stop working. I probably had another half an hour to an hour but I was in the middle of something and it suited me.

what consequence have you laid out? For example have you said you will drive it to their house on the 31st if they don’t collect their stuff? I think sadly you are just going to have to deliver it all. But at least it will be gone then.

No without difficulty and that feels like a really extreme thing to do.

None, because I didn’t feel I should have to. I followed up last night with a text and said have you sorted the van storage yet? I actually came back to this thread to see how long they’ve had and it’s two weeks which is ample. They keep asking when we’re moving and I know that’s because they see that as the cut off to move their van.

Isn't this an extreme situation? You'll have time while they're gone to research how to do it . Speak to the manufacturers / check online for a youtube video etc.

They're still not listening to you so a simple code change and refusal to open it / share the code resolves all your problems. It's just being assertive which seems to be needed to get your parents to hear you.

I think you should stop storing their stuff entirely

I keep coming back here to see if it's gone. 🤦🏻‍♀️Can you tell them when they take it this weekend it's not coming back? End of. Sorted. DS using the van is a red herring and totally irrelevant for them to bring up. He can get it off their land can't he?

I agree with this. They are extreme boundary over steppers and it’s time to cut them off form their entitled way they treat you and your home. They won’t even tell you when they’re stopping by! Just show up! And they haven’t even said when they’ll move it but keep stopping by to mess about with it. Ridiculous.

Yes sorry I missed this. Definitely it’s not coming back when it’s gone this weekend. Change the code. Box up their other stuff. Deliver it on the 31st.

@TheSummerof25 better still, fill the caravan with their stuff before they take it!! once it is out, change the code! stop being a wimp!! mum is just a bully.

We’re trying!

The thing is it doesn’t sound like you are trying - you’ve told them, they’ve heard how much it upsets you yet they’ve done nothing. As pp said - they’re going to leave the stuff and will expect you to take it

OP they see you as a pushover - your little moment of standing up for yourself was a blip in their eyes. I’m not sure you can do this because you are a nice person and it’s your parents! So let your DH deal - he will be able to stay unemotional and resolute.