AIBU about “adopt don’t shop”?

[totallybonafido]

Yes I know it’s better to adopt rather than to buy a kitten from some random person online - but rescue places make it so difficult! I’m trying to get a new friend for my cat and I’m not getting anywhere.

I've contacted all local rescues, big and small, who claim to be inundated with cats and kittens, and been told:
• they only re home kittens in pairs
• you can’t adopt if you’re out at work during the day
• you can’t adopt if you don’t have a cat flap
• if uk you adopt, you have to agree that the cat will be indoor only
• we won’t give give you a cat if you have children
• we don’t have any single kittens at the moment

These are just the ones that have responded, many don’t.

If they really are inundated and struggling to rehome cats, you’d think they’d be a bit less picky? I got my current cat from a random lady online whose 2 cats had litters at the same time, so she had about 10 kittens at once. I’ve just seen on pets4homes that she has another 12 kittens to re home now, it’s beyond irresponsible and she has no idea who she’s giving them to. I want to do the responsible thing here, but I probably am going to end up buying a kitten off some random again as the alternative has too many obstacles.

I’m surprised that the cat distribution system™️ in the UK is broken. I’ve found that when you need a cat God just throws one at you, so no need to go looking for one 😁

Bit of a joke because I have adopted cats from shelters, but have also been on the receiving end of the distribution system. One of mine was found in a box by someone with the rest of the litter in a vacant lot and another was a failed foster of a young woman related to a neighbor who needed a home for him for a few months-that turned out longer. I’ve trapped solo feel kittens in my yard, found cats camping that have wanted a new home, and so on.

I always loved this meme and found it to be true for a lot of people.

I completely understand that rescues have a duty of care and want to make sure their animals are going to a suitable home. I also have no objection to video tours or home visits, in fact I'd be concerned if they didn't do these. It's the complete lack of consistency that I find baffling. When we approached rescues looking to adopt cats we found they had wildly different criteria, and some of them were so rigid they seemed incapable of common sense.

One turned us down because they "don't rehome to families with children under 7". Our youngest child was 6.5 at the time! I explained that he has been around cats since birth. I invited them to do a home visit so they could meet DS and see for themselves there would be no issue. No dice, "rules are rules". This a rescue that is constantly posting about how they are "inundated" with cats and kittens.

Another turned us down because DH and I both WOH, which is absolute madness IMO. I explained that DH comes home for his lunch every day, I only work 4 days a week term time only, DH WFH at least 1 day a week, and that there is always someone home by 4pm. This was still unacceptable apparently, yet some rescues didn't even ask about our work or day to day schedules at all. Another rescue tried to insist that one of us would need to take a full week off work to settle the cats in...who actually does that??

We ended up re-homing a pair of kittens from a small, independent rescue who were much more sensible and realistic. They needed a video tour of the house and they asked questions, but it didn't feel like an interrogation. As soon as they saw that we had a decent sized house with an enclosed garden and we told them we were experienced cat owners they practically bit our hands off!

I fully accept that their need to be rules, but given the number of abandoned animals and how overrun rescues say they are, there also needs to be an element of pragmatism. Maybe there needs to be some sort of standardised criteria that they all follow so it's more consistent.

That so strange, they did not have issue with me and now xh working full time. But we did not want to a kitten and adopted a 4 year old cat so maybe that’s why. Good luck to you. Hopefully they are reasonable.

Try and find a local independent rescue. Ask on Facebook for recommendations. I adopted 2 rescue kittens from a local charity. I didn’t even bother with the well known ones because I’ve heard they are rediculously stringent. The charity I adopted from did a house visit when we adopted the first cat, but I can understand that.

We are trying to adopt a dog, but it's proving impossible! Large house, secure large garden, no children, and I work from home 90% of the time! We are even happy with an older dog, allowing them to have a good life. You would think it would be easy? 6 Months and still getting nowhere.
So we thought maybe a cat, again, no preference to age, etc. Nope! Seems impossible.

I have had such a nightmare with piggies! I’m an experienced owner, I’ve had boars and sows of various ages, have bonded them at home before, etc etc.

Mine have three different large enclosures. An enormous (9x2) C&C cage with lots of lovely hideys where they live primarily, a 6x2 grass run for outdoor exercise and enrichment when it’s dry underfoot and a 5x2 rain and wind-proofed hay run for when it’s damp or wet.

Three rescues turned me down for adoption recently. Two because I have children (they’re 7 and 10, and whilst they do hold and pet the pigs, they don’t do it unsupervised and I am responsible for all animal care!) and one because despite me sending photos of all of all three our enclosures and explaining that I’ve had pigs for years, I wouldn’t bring my existing boar for an hours journey in the car (very distressing for them) to do a 30 minute ‘speed date’ with one of their pigs to see how they got on.

30 minutes is not nearly enough time to know if boars are going to bond/be ok or not that takes a few weeks and a lot of patience! So it was an utterly pointless thing to put my lad though.

I’ve ended up buying babies from a small local breeder.

I've never had to buy a kitten. There are always tons of cat owners giving away litters in my area because they haven't been responsible enough to have their cat neutered.

OP, have you tried tvaw.org.uk? Based around Reading/Henley.

Could you come into west London? http://www.protectedpaws.co.uk/
It's a lovely little rescue and they have kittens. Have a look at Oxy. It says in the blurb they have 50 kittens at the moment and because they are black they have trouble getting adopters. Which is so sad.

Mine came from Blue Cross and there were none of the requirements stated in your post. Things like a cat flap are an advantage but certainly wasn’t required?

Mine came from Blue Cross and there were none of the requirements stated in your post. Things like a cat flap are an advantage but certainly wasn’t required?

Speaking from a rescue viewpoint. We do what's best for the animals, but there is normally a solution if the people will be open minded. Kittens are distraught when separated from siblings and mother, so we only home small kittens in pairs. However there are plenty of slightly older kittens that can be homed separately - or young, single cats. They would fit in to most homes really well and won't be traumatised by being homed separately.

If people will be open minded about the type and age of cat they will accept then there are very few homes that will be a flat out refusal. Rescues try to fit the cat to the home. However some people won't accept that young, reckless kittens will be at risk in a house that backs onto an A road. Or that tiny kittens will very unhappy and indeed at risk in a house full of boisterous very young children.

Rescues can normally suggest cats with road sense, or "bomb proof" cats that can tolerate young children - but people throw their toys out of the pram because they want an entirely unsuitable kitten.

If the cat has to be indoor only, what’s the cat flap for ?!

What makes you assume people who breed kitten are backyard breeders? The people I have come across who breed cats have dedicated runs and catteries, beautifully clean and spacious. Others have their female cats in the house all the time - the males tend to be housed separately so one does not get random litters. This assumption that people who breed to sell are cruel or wicked or uncaring is not true. Many breed for the love of a particular sort of cat - and certainly don't dump them when they become sick (they will be insured and if not owners willing pay).
So judgemental.

I agree with this 100% for most rescues (and rescue centre people I've met away from their job).
The exception is the RSPCA who are at least 50% people who want to tell other people what to do. They actively recruit exmilitary people who in at least some cases should be nowhere near the rehoming side of the business and have no care or talent for animals at all.

I was referring to the sort of person the op was talking about getting a kitten from. Which is clearly a backyard breeder.

There definitely needs to be animal welfare as a priority. I would love a cat (if I didn’t have my piggies) but our house backs onto a main road and it’s highly likely that even a sensible one would meet a horrible end. I’d not even consider one living here, and actually I seem to have entirely sensible neighbours because in 15 years of living here I’ve only ever seen 2, maybe 3 cats. Even they’ve disappeared, sadly they’ve probably been squashed.

I’d also not have a house cat, although I’m not opposed to them. I grew up in a house with a house cat from about 1y old. Cat was allergic to bees and wasps and the daft thing would go out of his way to chase and eat them, inevitably get stung, and had several nasty reactions before we figured out what was happening. He had to stay inside from then on, the vet said the next reaction could kill him as they were getting worse. It was such a pain having to keep him in, have nets on the windows etc. He was happy being king of the house and lived to a ripe old age, but it wouldn’t be a choice I’d freely make.

I have personally known people with young children obtain entirely unsuitable animals. Some people seem to view pets as living cuddly toys for their families and don’t give enough thought to the animals welfare.

So I do get saying no when the match between what people want and what they should really have based on their circumstances isn’t there. As this thread proves though, lots of rescues are just bordering on the absurd. Also, some people don’t want older animals or different ones, and that’s their right. If I am going to make an animal part of my family, prioritise their welfare, fund and meet their every need and pay (an extortionate amount!) for any medical care then I’m afraid I reserve the right to choose the animal that I want and not be dictated to by a rescue centre. The attitude that you get is that if you won’t accept their rules, or a pet that’s not of your choosing by age/breed whatever, then you don’t really deserve one as you’re not having no whatever’s offered. It’s really counter productive to the whole adopt don’t shop ethos!

Anyone else find it super weird that some rescues require the cats to never go outside, and some require access to a private garden?

Is there an ideological cat welfare war going on we don’t know about?

Is he part kangaroo?

That really is the bare minimum space rabbits need though, unless they're house rabbits and have their own room or run of the house.

@totallybonafido if you are in Berkshire, have you tried the Oxfordshire branch of the RSPCA. All the RSPCA branches are independent and have slightly different policies depending on who is running them. I adopted kittens from them last year and I found them very reasonable and easy to deal with. We both work and also have children and we didn't have a catflap at the time of adopting (because we didn't have a cat! I was baffled by rescues who asked you to put in a catflap in anticipation of possibly having a cat in the future, especially when said cat wouldn't be allowed out for several months anyway!). They made it pretty clear that they were not looking for unattainable perfection, but for a home which is good enough to give the cat a good life, and with an owner who's thought about the commitment properly. If they have an odd number of kittens they will rehome a kitten to a home with an existing young cat who can teach it the ropes.

I've only ever had rescue pets for the last 20-odd years. I have a job, a child, a rented house, a disability, a small garden, usually other pets... and I've never had an issue. The most I have paid is £175 for my shih tzu, which can't have covered the costs of vaccinations and spaying her.

There are far too many unwanted pets in the world, and however you frame it, buying them off randos on the internet is just funding the next litter. Accidental litters don't happen if you neuter your pets.

Simple answer: yes there appears to be. I don't get it either. Our rescue has some cats suitable for an indoor only home, but most prefer outdoor access.

And if people live in houses it's more or less impossible to stop cats going out anyway.

So many pet rabbits are neglected through ignorance. They're really not the best choice of small furry pet.

Completely agree.
Got turned down as I was pregnant and I "might love the baby more than I love the cat" 🤣
Full of women who want to hoard animals and not actually re-home them.