AIBU about “adopt don’t shop”?

[totallybonafido]

Yes I know it’s better to adopt rather than to buy a kitten from some random person online - but rescue places make it so difficult! I’m trying to get a new friend for my cat and I’m not getting anywhere.

I've contacted all local rescues, big and small, who claim to be inundated with cats and kittens, and been told:
• they only re home kittens in pairs
• you can’t adopt if you’re out at work during the day
• you can’t adopt if you don’t have a cat flap
• if uk you adopt, you have to agree that the cat will be indoor only
• we won’t give give you a cat if you have children
• we don’t have any single kittens at the moment

These are just the ones that have responded, many don’t.

If they really are inundated and struggling to rehome cats, you’d think they’d be a bit less picky? I got my current cat from a random lady online whose 2 cats had litters at the same time, so she had about 10 kittens at once. I’ve just seen on pets4homes that she has another 12 kittens to re home now, it’s beyond irresponsible and she has no idea who she’s giving them to. I want to do the responsible thing here, but I probably am going to end up buying a kitten off some random again as the alternative has too many obstacles.

This post resonated with me as I had such trouble when I wanted to adopt another cat with sadly, no success whatsoever.
Our cat died and I tried every charity I could think of but was met with a outright refusal as we live on a main road which isn’t as busy as it used to be due to a bypass. Our cat, which I was given, lived quite happily for 18 years with no problem.
I have been looking to buy one instead.

If opting to buy, I’d like to recommend the crossbreeds that breeders have to outcross with to keep the genetics strong.
I found a lovely little cat for a family member for £50 from a breeder to needed to cross shorthair into their line. She looked like a moggy, rather than pure bred, so she was literally a 10th of the price.
Just a thought.

He was run over because my neighbour didn't get him in before dark. I was perfectly comfortable for him to be out in daylight.

I think it's cruel to keep cats indoors, and mine wanted to go outside. Yes, there is a risk when you let cats out but what happened to mine was avoidable, if my instructions had been followed.

All the talk about cats being solitary. They're absolutely not. They are colony animals. They're often not keen on new, unknown cats - but they love the company of other cats. I've had up to 20 at one time (large rural house, no neighbours, no roads). I currently have 15. I've adopted various disabled cats,we had 5 tripods at one point, down to 3 now as years have passed. My cats love each other's company. We have the occasional spat - usually during the first two or three weeks of autumn weather when they all congregate indoors for the first time after spending the summer wandering outside. But then they settle down together again, snuggle up together and then we have mass stampedes of them charging aroumd the house playing - they all join in. Most of mine would be so miserable without their friends. A couple are very people focused, so would be okay as long as they had a person available instead.

Yes, that's one thing that really annoys me - the majority of rescues say their cats must be the only cat in the home. Occasionally you get a begrudging "MAY be able to live with another cat." What are they basing that on, exactly? How the cat reacts to a strange cat in a frightening shelter environment?

I’m so sorry that happened op. I’m a professional holiday cat feeder, and it’s such a huge position of trust, looking after other people’s animals.

Thank you - yes, it is a lot to trust someone with, and I regret it so much. I didn't want to put them in a cattery as I didn't like the thought of them being so confined for so long, but now I wish I had because at least they would have been safe there.

I never had any of these issues when I got a rescue cat. They came for a home visit and asked for details like did I have children, did I want the cat to be indoors or outdoors. Then I went and looked. They told me a couple of the cats wouldn't be suitable as I had children - but they pointed out other cats that were. It was all really well done - RSPCA. Don't be put off you've just been unlucky.

Here’s the thing as a volunteer in a rescue that does try to work out which cats are cat friendly when adopting out.

We actually home foster so we can test animals in a relatively low stress environment. Any new cats who come in spend at least two weeks hanging out in their own room unbothered by other cats and that is the standard we suggest to
anyone who adopts because they need time to establish territory before meeting new cats.

what we get is people returning cats in under a week because they “didn’t get on with existing cats”. Which obviously they didn’t because you didn’t do it right. But a cat that gets returned gets more and more stressy at being moved around and whilst they’ve been out their foster place is already full so now we’re scrabbling to fit the poor baby back in.

I don’t blame places that are more conservative in order to avoid returns.

We went through CP and had no issues either but even back in 2012 I had heard the stories of rescues being so picky and was worried because we had no cat flap, there was a main road a short walk away and the litter tray was in the same room as their food, plus we had days where we could both be out at work all day (or days where someone was at home all day)

I think ultimately as long as you have them money to feed them and pay for vets bills, what you choose to do is up to you. Even living on a main road whilst isn't ideal is no guarantee of a death sentence so isn't it better to give a cat a potentially long happy life or even a short one in a loving home environment as opposed to stuck in a rescue until the perfect home comes along.

I do. They should put more effort into making sure adopters know how to introduce cats rather than severely limiting the homes they will consider. I don't know anybody who has just one cat so it must turn off a massive number of potential adopters.

How exactly? You tell them verbally, you put it in the intro pack, you tell them in the home check and drop off. But people who don’t want to listen will not be told and everyone is an expert. Just like the amount of people on this thread who are absolutely certain that rescues are being unreasonable if they want kittens to go in pairs or into homes where they will have a buddy (because they haven’t seen how many single kittens get returned after a few months when they are a lot less adoptable)

Vet adopters properly so they don't have such a high proportion of adopters who can't read or take in advice?

I can't speak for all rescues as some have ridiculous criteria. But I got mine from a small local rescue, they did a home visit, we chatted and got matched with a kitten.

Some places do only rehome kittens in pairs. But the one I used let him go alone, I have children and I work out of the home some of the week. They didn't require a cat flap, though I've since had one installed.

They were great and I rehomed another a few years afterwards. That time I was just approved once I confirmed I was still at the same address as I was already approved, just want to pick him up.

Don't give up on rehoming a rescue. I understand some places have ridiculous criteria, but not all are like that. The place I used just wanted someone who could love, care, feed and look after one of their many many potential adopters.

I was deemed unfit to own a cat by four separate shelters on the grounds that:

• First shelter: "I couldn't in all conscience rehome a cat to someone living in London." This after several weeks of back and forth discussion about dietary needs etc and it turned out the woman hadn't bothered to read my emails properly. I pointed out that there were millions of cats already living in London but apparently that was a total dealbreaker.
• Second shelter: I lived too close to a main road (three quarters of a kilometer away from a main road. This after I'd provided videos of all the roads adjoining my home at different times of day and night.
• Third shelter: I said my pets would be given access to a back garden (with no access to a main road and already full of cats) and was told I had to commit to buying something called a "catio" and to submit to further home visits
• Fourth shelter: I couldn't commit to working from home in perpetuity so I was told I wasn't "suitable". I work from home three days out of five.

I'm a middle aged woman living in a large suburban house with a garden. I have a full time job and can afford the food/vets bills etc. I have one rather quiet teenage daughter and a partner. I live some way away from a main road. I'm a life-long cat lover and have had dozens of them.

So I went and acquired two cats from breeders. Sorry, but I wasn't going to have these people police my right to care for animals well. Huge own goal for the rescues. And to be honest I feel like the entire shelter is constantly sabotaging itself with these ridiculously unattainable standards.

That's nuts!

I was thinking back to my family's cat ownership when I was a kid and how we'd have been frowned on: we didn't live near a main road but it was a busy commuter village and people tended to drive like loons; we didn't have a catflap – the cat just had to fit in around us (one f/t out of house worker, one P/T, me at school); we had an unsecured garden and no one had ever heard of a catio!
Nonetheless our family cats always seemed pretty healthy and happy to me, and none met their ends in traffic or otherwise due to not being indoor cats or having a catio.

They "allocate" you a dog because they try to find one that best suits your situation so they'll look at past history (if any) and the individual dog's health, fitness and personality. It's not really about breed.

You might want a spaniel but it might be an unsuitable fit for your household, whereas they might have a staffy that's perfect.

Agree with this 100%

I have had this problem, even as far back as 15 years ago. The shelters and animal organisations make it SO difficult for people. Our second cat we just got from a pet shop (paid £25.) She had been with a family previously (they had her from a 10 week old kitten) and booted her out as the family dog didn't warm to her. 🙄 (She was 6 months old at this point.)

DH told a work colleague who was a kind of PETA obsessive, that we had bought a 6 month old kitten from the local pet shop, and he went ballistic. Said we were 'letting the rescues down,' you must 'adopt don't shop,' and we 'could have given a little abandoned and homeless cat a home!'

DH was baffled. And so was I. Errrrr, actually Steve, we HAVE given an abandoned and homeless cat a home, you fucking idiot! We 'bought' our first kitten too! £10. From an advert in the local paper. 3rd one we got from Cats Protection. They did a 'home visit' and said we had to have a catflap, (we did,) we couldn't live on a busy road (we didn't,) we can't have children under 5 (we didn't,) and one of us has to be at home most of the time. (We were. I worked part time and DH did shifts, so kitty wasn't alone much...) But yeah tl;dr they do make it hard for people to 'adopt' pets.

My local rescue said they'd come round and do an inspection and if we passed then we could have two cats. She came round with two cats, asked hardly any questions didn't check the house or garden think they were desperate to get rid of the cats.........Cost £120 for the two but well worth it

Ah, Pissfingers. Still makes me chortle. So true.