AIBU about “adopt don’t shop”?

[totallybonafido]

Yes I know it’s better to adopt rather than to buy a kitten from some random person online - but rescue places make it so difficult! I’m trying to get a new friend for my cat and I’m not getting anywhere.

I've contacted all local rescues, big and small, who claim to be inundated with cats and kittens, and been told:
• they only re home kittens in pairs
• you can’t adopt if you’re out at work during the day
• you can’t adopt if you don’t have a cat flap
• if uk you adopt, you have to agree that the cat will be indoor only
• we won’t give give you a cat if you have children
• we don’t have any single kittens at the moment

These are just the ones that have responded, many don’t.

If they really are inundated and struggling to rehome cats, you’d think they’d be a bit less picky? I got my current cat from a random lady online whose 2 cats had litters at the same time, so she had about 10 kittens at once. I’ve just seen on pets4homes that she has another 12 kittens to re home now, it’s beyond irresponsible and she has no idea who she’s giving them to. I want to do the responsible thing here, but I probably am going to end up buying a kitten off some random again as the alternative has too many obstacles.

Pissfingers is brilliant and sums the problems up beautifully.
Our first cat was a rescue and they were amazingly snotty about our application considering we were trying to do the right thing. We only ever have accidents or rescues but not they come unofficially.

I've not had any problems adopting cats from the RSPCA but we are experienced cat owners, have a huge garden and my husband worked from home at the time.

I tried to adopt a guinea pig from RSPCA though and they told me they don't rehome them to cages- it should have it's own room which is adapted for it? ! That's not what their rehoming policy states though- it's just states a minimum size enclosure so sometimes I thinkparticular staff members make up their own rules according to their own beliefs.

I'd also like a dog- but never had one before and most of the time the requirements want you have experience of being a dog owner. How can you get experience of owning a dog? Do they expect you to buy a puppy elsewhere and get experience before you can rehome a puppy from them?

Could just save yourself the money and stress and not buy another pet

> rescue places make it so difficult!

Yes, how awful to make sure the animals they are rehoming will have a healthy, safe, happy environment to live

Some of these rules aren’t unreasonable.

i foster kittens and single kittens are a nightmare particularly if you haven’t got another cat or be around 24/7. They get lonely. They scream like banshees. They don’t learn that if they bite or scratch hard someone might bite back. They are twice as destructive because they’re bored. Single kittens get returned a lot at the point where their behaviour becomes unbearable and at that point they’re older, less cute and harder to adopt.

Because of that we tend to pair them up. Sometimes if you have a cat who is young enough to play well have a single but sometimes they’re all best buddies and would suffer if split up.

Older cats are less needy and a better choice if you only want one.

Yes we do home checks, though we reserve a cat when we do it and you won’t lose it whilst waiting for the check. Frankly if you’d had to rehome fifty cats from a hoarders house so would you.

I’ve yet to find a rescue that wants a cat flap for every cat though I’m sure they exist. However I have fostered cats who needed a cat flap. Not every cat but some thoroughly hated the fact that foster cats must be indoor only, made repeated and cunning attempts to escape and in some cases destroyed carpets near doors to make their point. Give them to someone without a cat flap and again they’d be returned. But that’s far from every cat and some need to be indoor only.

You'd be surprised - the online lady who I got my 2 from last time (who then had 10 and now has another 12!) said that she'd had about 200 messages about them on pets4homes and couldn't respond to everyone.

I'm looking on there again now and most people don't get back to you, so it's not easy either.

That’s a bonkers list! Why can’t go to work? Why no kids? Indoor only? We adopted 15+ years ago and the only rule was I couldn’t be near a busy road.

There should be national standard setting the minimal expectations. Not necessarily on the level the rescues have it now, but some people just aren't in a position to have a dog or cat and give it good conditions, so they shouldn't.

I agree, kittens need a lot more managing than many people realise, and on their own it's even more difficult because naturally they would learn from their siblings and their mum.
I'd go for an older cat. Not so many people want them, so they tend to languish in shelters.

We adopted a pair but could easily have taken a single cat
-have kids
-live next to a main road (they advised to keep as indoor cats but didn’t say we had to)
-both work out of the house all day (cats don’t need all day company?)
-don’t have a cat flap (also if cats are to be kept indoors a moot point, surely?)

We didn’t adopt babies but they were still young, surely that’s part of rehoming, that you take on an older cat that needs a home?

Yes I could, but my 7 month old cat is lonely and missing his little brother.

And then there's the love and joy that a pet brings to your life....

I got two kittens, they were litter mates. They were fine when together when small but once they reached about 9 months old and the male was stronger than the female and played rough, the female turned on him. They tolerate each other now, but are not friends and would definitely be better as single cats.

In my experience single cats are just fine, especially if they have access to the outside while you are at work.

Okay sure but you must see how that looked odd to the adopter? They don’t know what’s happened there whether you have a neighbour poisoning cats or a snake you’re feeding kittens to or you’re passing on to someone who wouldn’t pass home checks.

If CPL foster like we do (I’m RSPCA fosterer) every kitten they have is currently in a home, loved, with a fosterer taking a thousand photos for adoption. We all cry when a kitten dies. Two of our kittens vanishing would be awful.

You'd buy a kitten from some random place or person, which could be detrimental to animal welfare in all sorts of ways, so you can satisfy your personal pet owning goals, basically. People who claim to love animals but it's usually all about them

We have adopted 5 cats in total from romneyhousecatrescue.org.uk and would wholeheartedly recommend them if anybody is looking for a cat in the South East.

We've had two tiny kittens, two 7 month old kittens and an older cat aged around 6 or 7. Our children were 8 when we got the first kittens and that wasn't a problem. We do have jobs and wouldn't be home all day, every day.

There were checks inc sending a video of our home and you do pay a fee - but this covers the costs of microchipping, neutering and vaccinating.

I feel they are balanced in performing checks and wanting the cats to go to loving, safe homes whilst being realistic about real life logistics.

Contact your local vet and ask them if any are brought in lost and found as you would like to rehome one.
We have cats and kittens brought in all the time and are desperate to find them a nice home as all the charities are full.

That goes for dogs too and a surprising number of reptiles and parrots.

What this lady says is true. We’ve had to step in on cases like this before when it went badly.

The kittens are sometimes absolutely gorgeous but to get to that point are inbred as hell. Most people don’t get a special premises for cat breeding as they do for dog breeding so you’re talking dozens of cats in a regular persons house. Frequently they do not deflea or deworm and fleas can kill a tiny kitten. When they have that many kittens it’s easy for a kitten to get lost so they get sick without anyone noticing.

Last time I had kittens from that kind of house it was meant to be three. The inspector called an hour before and asked if I had room for five as they found two more the owner forgot they had. How do you forget kittens? God knows.

I absolutely don’t expect this to stop you if you’re bound and determined but if you go ahead anyway, vet check on day 1.

We adopted our cat and they wanted a video of the house, which I thought was fair enough. But then in amongst all the paperwork and adoption fees etc, there was a clause that they can access the cat whenever they wanted and if they wanted to come to our house and check on her, then we have to facilitate it. We signed it, because we’re pretty sure that can’t happen often, but it’s one of these rescues that’s linked with a nutter helping to run it and this woman seems to want complete control over all pets in the area.
We can’t seem to adopt a second cat from them, because every cat they put up as needing a home can’t go in a home with any other pets.

True, but it’s also true that some of the criteria they have are bonkers.

Maybe it’s better than not being picky enough. I was astonished when friends with 2 dogs were allowed to adopt an adult cat. The big dog (a very good natured Flatcoat retriever) was fine with him, but the little West Highland terrier - a terrier through and through - had to be religiously kept apart from him always, or he’d have torn him to pieces. And this went on for years - the poor cat could never feel entirely comfortable in his new home.

But I do think insisting on any cat being ‘indoor’ is downright wrong.

Where you want something specific like this it’s usually useful to contact rescues saying “I need a cat who want to hang out with other cats” or “I need a cat who tolerates dogs” or “I need a cat who is okay with kids”.

We don’t always have one currently available or on the site but we can note you for when they come in. I’ve had cats go without ever hitting the site because someone had a prior request in with our coordinator.

Yes, I got my old cat from Gumtree because we had other pets and kids no one would let us adopt.

I got my current cat from Cats Protection. They just wanted a video of my flat. He’s an indoor cat because of a health condition. I told them I worked at home even though that’s only partially true.

My DD is a vet and they quite often have strays brought in and struggle to find rescue places for them. When a student she volunteered at a local well known rescue (they often have celebrity adopters) who are literally hoarders and the criteria are stricter than adopting a child.

Then on the other side of the coin, you have people presumably legally buying kittens to torture on the web. It’s madness.

I've had spaniels for 40 years. I love the breed, and know a lot about their behaviour and personality. When I applied to a rescue, saying it had to be a spaniel, they more or less said if I didn't take whatever they offered I wasn't a true dog lover!

I completely agree. To adopt you have to be child free. Living in the country. Own your own home. No other pets.
The list goes on.

And even if everyone were able to adopt, people would still breed. And those animals would end up in rescues if they weren't adopted. Or worse in some circumstances.

@Lavenderflower 100% agree but those are turned down then go and buy kittens/puppies instead of thinking actually i am probably not suitable for pets at the moment, always got to be instant gratification

as an aside I agree with the rescues that cats should be indoors or only allowed out into a cat proofed garden e.g. catio. Far too many get run over, poisoned and cause a nuisance to others who don’t want or don’t have pets themselves