OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

They’re hanging on!

Far too much shagging about going on. People like this should just focus on the ones they already have and raise them well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with having children with ex partner then having another with a current partner.

As for similarities, I can't see anything at all in OP's posts that says she is:

• Having friends over making a noise until
3.am
• Kids kept up throughout the night so they can have a lie in, in peace.
• Others get left to raise them all.
• She never takes the youngest out when
her DP is working.
• Left to sleep until midday whilst older
children are at their dad's.
• Often have someone in the family
watching the youngest Saturday into
Sunday so they get a precious long lie in

Where's all this then???
You're just making it up and should be reported.....
Disgusting

Really?
All working mothers are making their babies suffer?
Quite a statement that.......

"Abandoning" to the father??
WTF

As a matter of interest...

Are all dads "babysitters" or just this one dad?

I think you are being very unreasonable. Why should he have to look after 3 kids who aren’t his and take a week off work to look after the baby. If the baby will be in nursery so he can go to work reasonable for him to look after they baby.

if you do want to go on holiday and leave your kids think it’s entirely reasonable for the older ones to go to your mum and the baby to be looked after by his mum, at least during the day so he doesn’t have to use up annual leave.

Making arrangements a year in advance for her DC to be looked after while she has a break for 7 days, is classed as "refusing" to look after her own child?

This is one of the weirdest threads I've ever read and that's saying something for mumsnet !

I can only assume it's jealousy?
I've never seen anything like it....

I mean I agree I wouldn’t go on holiday but if they were his children of course he should be able to lol after then without support !

Have you ever thought that maybe this dad wants to spend time with his baby?

That’s a pretty funny take, since the title of the post is dh wants to give the baby to his mum for a week, as that’s what he initially chose INSTEAD of looking after his baby himself. So no, it probably hasn’t occurred to many people that he just wanted to spend time with this baby 😂
(although yes the situation itself has since evolved.)

Jealous? Good grief

woman who was a single parent of 3 young children, meets, shags and gets pregnant with another chap’s baby. Moves him in. And now wringing her hands because she wants the new chap, who presumably her three children from previous relationship really have not known for long, to look after all of her kids for a week.

There is literally nothing appealing about that in the slightest.

I too am a single parent. Of two pretty independent teens. Tomorrow I’ll be leaving them for the entire day to go for a spa day with a good friend.

if I wanted to go on holiday for a week without them, I’d ask my ex, their dad, with whom I get on very well (I’m having a coffee with him on Sunday to discuss our eldest’s birthday!)

If you are honest, you genuinely think that from the OP’s posts this is a solid enduring relationship that won’t buckle under the pressure of a new born? (Or before then in fact)

Did you even read the OP?

What part of him sending the baby to OPs mum for week, shows that he wants to spend time with the baby?

Well they do. A 3 month old should be with their mother. Not in a nursery.

They suffer as a result of this modern world where women are expected to work. W

You might not like that, but it's true.

I mean it’s not Pc

but yes…. A 3 month old in a nursery is absolutely NOT in the baby’s best interests

She's done the same as you would then.
She's asked the baby's dad.

So all women with 3 month old babies should not be working? In your opinion?

I'd kindly suggest that you're the one being weird...

You want to go on a holiday alone, leaving your newborn??

Yeah because that’s what I mean when I say that being in a nursery at 3 months Is not in the best interests of the 3 month old in question 🙄

honestly, it’s like wading through sewage syrup on mumsnet sometimes

Sweet Jesus

she’s asked the baby’s dad to also look after her three young children from a previous relationship

And my kids…. Teens
you think teens and a new born are similar?

honestly!

So are dads only capable of looking after older kids?

So is a dad not as capable of nurturing and caring for a 3 month old baby for a full week while the mother is absent as the 3 month old baby's mother would be if she chose not to be absent?

Fixed your question for you.