OH wants to give 3 months old to his mothers for a week

[mummymanic]

Hi all,

im due to have DC4 in March and I’ve got a holiday booked for end of June. I’ve asked OH if he would be okay with all 4 kids and he said “send them to your mums” in questioned him and said “even the baby?” to which he agreed.

this will be our 1st child together. AIBU to think that this is what it’ll be like moving forward and that he won’t want to take care of the child/ren when I want some “me time” and he’ll fob them off to either of our parents? He thinks it’s normal because his nephew spends majority of the week at his mum’s and I keep explaining to him that it’s really not the norm and a newborn should be at home with parents.

trying not to stress about it but it’s really upset me. considering bringing the baby with me abroad but dunno how I’ll manage (also not told anybody im travelling with yet).

Why should she pull out of it?

Why?

This is quite unhinged. The OP is simply having a week’s holiday.

It’s a holiday. Not permanent abandonment.

Have a read of this and maybe you'll understand why it's generally not advised to jet off somewhere for a week with a 3 month old at home. https://laleche.org.uk/if-you-leave-your-baby/

What on earth?? 😆😆

A man babysitting his own child? A mother shouldn’t be away from a baby for a year? Come on!

You'd come across unhinged too if you had these selfish f*cks as your neighbours and they ruined your weekends with their behaviour. Fair enough, slight digression there, but my point still stands that people who keep on churning out babies with different partners tend to be selfish by nature anyway.

She’s not leaving a helpless baby with £50 and a list of takeaways. She’s leaving it with its parent.

As they get older, sure. But not at 3 months. Not for me anyway.

Why on earth can’t a baby be left with its father?

Thought about what? The kids are looked after and she’s having a holiday. What’s the problem?

Because she’s leaving the baby with its parent.

He is not obliged to look after your three children that you had with another man. The baby yes, he should take care of in your absence.

Do you understand that a 3 month old is not the same as a 2 year old? Because currently it seems like you are completely clueless.

I hate leaving my kids for more than a day or so. I don't get this urge to have a "break" from them, i enjoy having them around and get excited about going on holiday with them! I had to be away from eldest when he was rising 3 to be in hospital with youngest (seriously ill) and it was awful missing him

Normally I don't agree with this poster on various threads but today I do. She's right. They are the OP's responsibility. Especially a newborn baby.

Attachment is really important to a baby and a week to a baby is a very long time away from it's primary carer. I'm a very keen traveller but I think it's very selfish to go when your child is that young.

Why on earth can’t a baby be left with its father?

Its only 3 months old. Babies that age are supposed to be with mum. In 200,000 years of human history, for all bar the last 75 years or so babies have needed breastmilk from mum to thrive, and they are evolved to have a very strong bond with mum as a result. Dad not having breasts being part of that.

Obviously bottles exist now but it doesn't change the bond that exists between very young babies & mum.

I think many people understand that being a mother doesn't erase who you were before, or mean that you can't ever have any form of break. But it is hardly new information that very small babies need their primary care giver. I guess no one knows her circumstances but I do feel sorry for her baby who is clearly already an inconvenience who has to be managed around a hen do (I am presuming). On this very website there will be a number of threads full of people who can't leave their dog to go to a party for a few hours. But this poor baby has essentially been placed even lower than that by OP. I don't understand why they have gone for another baby if neither of them really want to spend time with him/ her. It's just sad to me

Read it. Presumably OP won’t be breastfeeding and she’s leaving the baby with its parent. Nothing in the article says that will impact the baby?

Yes, I understand the difference.

I don’t understand why there is a problem with a dad caring for his own baby.

You're taking the piss OP.
I imagine this is a joke.
How many mums do you think book themselves a holiday when their baby is a few months old?

The baby is the responsibility of its mother and father. Why can’t a father look after his own baby?

How do all the babies with mothers back at work cope?

It’s one week with its dad.