AIBU - no card?

[Inpaineveryday]

Had my wedding last weekend - several friends didn’t even write us a nice card. I’m gutted and suddenly feel very unaware/naive about those friendships. 4 of these people I would have classed as close friends. Am I reading in to this? I wouldn’t dream of turning up to a wedding without at least giving a card congratulating the couple? Isn’t that basic etiquette, let alone what you would do as the minimum for a friend? One of these friends I’m particularly gutted about as I’ve really been there when times were hard for her. Even bought her Christmas food shop and presents for her child when she had not a single penny. A decade of friendship and not even a card? I don’t even know what to think, or am I just being sensitive?

Op I agree. It is rude. I would think it brass necked to go and bring nothing! Very cheeky.

This. I don’t do cards or gifts and nor do I expect them. Weddings in particular have become so grabby with this being an expectation. Personally I judge my friends on their behaviour towards me, not meaningless gestures that generally people only do because they feel they should or it’s expected.

You’d seriously turn up to a good friends wedding empty handed? That’s really rude of you.

it’s not grabby to expect a simple card wishing the couple well. It’s also not a recent thing- congratulations cards for weddings have been a thing for a long time.

A £2.50 card is “grabby”?!

I think the PP meant the expectation of money being placed in the card, not the card itself.

I'm old(er) and cards would only be from people who didn't attend and it was the best man's job to read them out during the speeches. I'm not sure when it changed. The last couple of weddings we went to the cards were just put in a pile on a table.

Correct. I’ve never brought a gift or card to a wedding. I wouldn’t want or expect it from others so why would I? People’s friends making the effort to attend and celebrate with them is enough.