Am I being dramatic or was this a bit aggressive

[ThatKeenJadeLeader]

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

I absolutely would not continue, under any circumstances. That's shockingly aggressive and would completely put me off.

I don't think most therapists are worth the paper they wipe their bum with, tbh, but that's by the by.

FFS you paid her for the hour, so she should have been online for the hour (50 minutes, presumably) waiting for you to join, not writing aggressive emails. Teams and Zoom are known for being difficult to connect to, sometimes. I wouldn't continue either, and I would report her to whichever counselling body she is presumably registered with.

What are the T&Cs of the session?

Her email sounds like a standard email she sends out if her client doesn't log in within 5 minutes which I assume is laid out in the conditions of booking? Ie "if you are more than 5 minutes late without informing us then your booking will be cancelled at full cost and all further bookings will be cancelled as this service is in high demand"

Absolutely don't go back to her. She's ruined any element of trust in the relationship.

She should be charging in advance and then remaining on standby for the entire duration thus never out of pocket. That's by the by, though. I'm sorry you went through this experience.

Shocking- she's known you for 6 months!!!! Could have given you a little leeway! Who hasn't had trouble connecting with teams, zoom etc.
I would complain.

I have been self-employed for 20 years in a completely different field and use audio-visual conferencing platforms a lot. That is WAY too aggressive for a reliable, punctual customer who pays on time and never misses a session. Everyone knows that that Teams and Zoom are not 100% reliable and from what you've said, she had no reason to think you'd simply gone waltzing Matilda. What if someone in your family had died, FFS?

I completely get how frustrating it is to have non/late paying flaky customers. But that doesn't apply in your case. In your position, I would feel the trust in the relationship had gone and be unable to continue with her as a therapist.

Bloody hell that's really inappropriate even for a new client. Imagine having never spoken to her before, being vulnerable and needing support, and getting that message after having similar tech problems. She sounds a bit too in love with her own importance. Therapy is a profession that attracts some people like that.

Then she really needs to rethink the wording of her standard emails, particularly when dealing with a potentially especially vulnerable client group.

So a therapist/councillor is threatening their clients with debt collection my god ! It is aggressive and unethical maybe pay for your session and cancel your sessions id also leave a review ! Look at better help or something or go through the NHS they offer online services.

I work online and am self-employed. I average about 20-25 appointments a week.

On average, I'll get 2 or 3 cancellations with 24 hours notice. No problem.
But on average I'll also get 2 no-shows a week. I DO have a strict email I send out for a no show, because, you know, time IS money.

However, I also wait in the online meeting for at least 30 minutes.

I also think you and the therapist should have had a secondary mode of communication for use in case of tech failure. Because it is a reasonably frequent occurrence.

I see you paid sorry I misread, find someone else.

Well maybe it's just me then because I don't read it as aggressive

This is what got me the debt collection part.

I was like what?

I would take screenshots of the email and report to whichever professional body she is a member of. Threatening debt collection? Outrageous. I’m sorry OP.

You don't think "if you don't pay within 5 daya thenim passing your debt on" is aggressive ?

That’s really unpleasant and aggressive. In this situation, my first thought would be for the welfare of my client, not threatening debt collection. I couldn’t work with the therapist again-the trust would be gone.

If you feel that she's really helping you feeling better normally you can talk to her about how her message made you feel. I think (hope) this was a prewritten standard response so she should be made aware of how it comes across. Given how she reacts to you telling her how it feels should be decisive of whether you can continue with her as your therapist or not.

I suspect she just logs it and it sends out a standard automatic message. You could have and should have used t he rest of your time when offered.

Doesn't matter if it's a standard, pre-written email. There is absolutely no need for that aggressive tone.

That’s unbelievably hostile.

Ive never had a therapist that I could imagine being 20% this aggressive.

I’m an un empathetic cow but even I’d have thought a therapist would message “I hope everything’s ok. I waited in the room” etc etc ie come from a place of concern rather than “gimme money@

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.
This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

The fact that she sent that response DURING your actual scheduled time while you were actively trying to connect with her on Teams and had let her know about your wi-fi difficulties while you were doing it is appalling.

I would report her to whatever oversight organisation exists and leave a public review. Her own email blurb speaks for itself.

Just to say, the client I have that is the worst non-attender, is currently at about day 45 without paying the invoice I've sent them.

I have to threaten to cancel our work before they pay at times. I know it isn't because they won't pay, they are just very busy, but it is very rude.

This type of client is in the minority. But who knows which clients will be that client? Better to have an overall policy and line in place so everyone is aware.

If it's that difficult to secure payment then the sensible thing to do is require payment up front. Not threaten a therapy client as the first step five minutes into a session!

I get it, however at 6 months in having paid a substantial amount once every two weeks on time and in full, 10 minutes to me is an extreme overreaction.

Blimey, you don't want a therapist like her. Sounds as she needs one to tackle her aggressive behaviour. Dump her and find someone else perhaps who you see in person. I do appreciate that people need to be paid as in me with a beauty therapist where I have to cancel last minute, but not aggressively.