Am I being dramatic or was this a bit aggressive

[ThatKeenJadeLeader]

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

Like everyone else said, I wouldn't see her again. But I hope you'll persevere with therapy, it's so worth doing, but easy to feel discouraged when someone like this has broken your trust.

She was way out of order. How unprofessional of her.

I'd send her an email outlining how rude, aggressive and unprofessional her message was and that you will be finding another counsellor and reporting her to her governing body. Absolutely unacceptable and she needs telling!

I've had trouble getting on calls before and usually my therapist will text me asking if I'm OK.

Occasionally I have a full on week and even forget to send the payment over until stupid o clock in the morning the day of the next session. He's had many a bank transfer at 2 in the morning. Never even commented, except to ask if I was having trouble sleeping.

She is out of order and I'd not bother with her again.

That’s pretty extreme yes. When I’ve had issues connecting I’ve messaged my therapist and they’ve been really nice about it - where possible they’ve even extended the session to make up the lost minutes.

And they’d never just cancel all my sessions without calling me to discuss first. It’s also odd you don’t have her phone number for issues like these.

And generally I’d only expect an email like that if you’d missed the whole session with no contact to her where she would be within her rights to ask for payment and assume you wanted no further sessions.

Its just a standard email they send. Always tskr them up on the call rather th online session

I go to my therapist. I have been going for a while. One session I was a few minutes late due to some flooding and had to go a different way. I apologised and she said don’t worry you are always here on time so I thought something must have happened. That is the sort of response you would expect

That’s awful. To put it into context, I had problems accessing counsellor sessions 2 weeks on the trot which meant I missed 15 minutes at the beginning of each session, she waited for me each time. After the second time it happened, the counsellor emailed me and offered a free 30 minute session. That’s what should happen!

Sounds like she's the one who needs therapy, not you! 🤔 Dump her and find a new therapist! X

No. She hasn't known her. Op has been a customer of hers for 6 months.

They are not friends.

My uncle is a business owner, he is not friends with any of his customers. He has no relationship at all with them beyond providing a service and getting paid.

Harsh truth is the therapist means something to OP, OP means not much to the therapist as a person. She just sees her as a customer.

Dreadful behaviour, unnecessarily harsh. I wouldn't feel comfortable going back to her either. And when you're vulnerable, being as comfortable as possible is critical.
Good luck OP 💐

Report to who, there is no governing body. Only a membership like the fishing club it's all fucked - that is the trouble with the industry, unregulated and you don't even need to have a qualification!

OP it was rude and I read it as aggressive, I'm a therapist of many years and after 10 minutes I send a message that basically is ' hope all is ok, sorry to have missed you today'.
99% of the time it's a wifi issue or they have forgotten the appiontment.
If someone sorts the wifi issues within 30 minutes I still take the session although I do stick to the remainder of what is left of the hour.
I do charge for late cancellations as we should but if I've chased for more than 2 weeks( 3 emails) I write it off, I do email and explain but also explain that if they would like to have more sessions that the missed one does need payment ( I've been lucky I've only ever had 1 that never paid) - my job is to be with people, be kind and professional not make them feel more shit.

Sorry thats completely wrong but there are no legalities a therapist doesn't have to wait 15 minutes, legally you don't even have to supply a contract, they don't have to be registered, insured or even qualified...
The majority of us adhere to a code of ethics but you would be very surprise of what legal requirements we have to follow, a clue is there are very few.

That's definitely an aggressive message.

It must cause her issues too. I'd have absolutely used the remaining 30 minutes, but to explain that she'd worried me, caused general mistrust and to explain how I'd not be seeing her again. I'm often a bit, errm, animated during therapy sessions due to the enormous trust issues and abuse that led me to therapy... I am get very distressed when I feel someone there as support is not someone to trust. It'd just be one big freak out about how cruel she was and how upset I'd been by her choices and how much I'd now hurt myself. She must have some proper shitty days with that message, if it's an automatic one

That seems too harsh and it has caused a rupture in your relationship. You can maybe talk to the therapist about it, or if you don't feel comfortable you can terminate therapy. It's your decision.

I wouldn't want to go to a therapist that sends a message like that. If it's a standard message then that it doesn't make it any less bad - maybe worse.

So many reasons someone could be 5 minutes late.

For me, id be hurt, intimidated and would imagine the therapeutic relationship has been damaged. I would struggle to trust this therapist again, and im not sure someone who lacks the empathy to imagine how this could impact a client is worth your time anyway

She sounds like a crap therapist if you’re still struggling after speaking with her for 6 months.

You need to ditch her and find someone more solution focussed so you can move on with your life.

You’d get better therapy from chatting to friends!

The debt collection threat is an absolute no from me. I excuses I’m sorry. I would be really honest and tell her you were shocked at her reply and the fact that she immediately escalated it to debt collectors when you were 10 minutes late and that you don’t want to see her again.

I don't think i would care what she said.

Therapists are not our friends. They are running a business.

She wants her business needs met. I would be realistic

Report. Report. Report.

Never see her again

The fact she doesnt provide a phone number is the issue as well. If your Internet is down which can of course happen at a moments notice, how would you communicate with her? Maybe the first email she sends should check if there is an issue and then allow some time before she goes all guns blazing obsessing over money. At least give it 24 hours before you lose your shit 🙈🙈

I would reply to her stating this. Then find a different therapist as she has broken the relationship

A debt collection agency threat when you were ten minutes late for an appointment. So basically she's threatening clients who are likely to be feeling vulnerable which is why they are seeing a therapist before they have even done anything wrong. Bin her for sure, and I'd contact whatever regulatory board there is and send them a copy of her email. That is so unacceptable.