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Original poster

Am I being dramatic or was this a bit aggressive

135 replies

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 05/08/2025 11:20

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

OP posts:
pamelanoon · 09/08/2025 20:04

Account734 · 09/08/2025 20:01

A debt collection agency threat when you were ten minutes late for an appointment. So basically she's threatening clients who are likely to be feeling vulnerable which is why they are seeing a therapist before they have even done anything wrong. Bin her for sure, and I'd contact whatever regulatory board there is and send them a copy of her email. That is so unacceptable.

But maybe it happens to the therapist a lot.

The OP had not paid for her session before it started.

Say if five people book an online session with this therapist in a day, and all five just dont show up. The therapist makes no money.

The therapist is making the system bad for herself.

She should have insisted on pre payment.

Then If someone doesnt show up to a session, it doesnt matter as she is paid anyway

WhatcakeshalIIbaketoday · 09/08/2025 20:14

It sounds unprofessional to me and the therapist has soured the relationship. It must leave a bad taste in the mouth.

therapist78 · 09/08/2025 20:22

I am a therapist and I think this is an extreme reaction. My response if someone doesn’t show is to message to check they are ok. My contract says that sessions like this are chargeable anyway, but also includes a backup plan if the tech fails.
I am sure the therapist is just trying to hold a boundary but they have overstepped massively here, threatening you with court.
If you can, I might consider going back and telling her this. Working through a rupture like this can be really healing, if it’s possible for you, and the therapist is skilled enough to manage it. Only you know if that is possible for you.

Fenellasbum · 09/08/2025 20:25

She sounds absolutely awful.

I would write back saying to leave the future sessions as cancelled - and give no further explanation.

And then I’d report her to HMRC. Wonder if she’s actually paying tax on these earnings.

Champersandfizz · 09/08/2025 20:25

@ThatKeenJadeLeader Please can you copy and paste the therapist's message? That would be hugely helpful!

bumpertobumper · 09/08/2025 21:56

I’m a therapist, if a client is ten minutes late I call or message to see if they are ok.
Yes, the contract is to pay for missed sessions but her email does seem harsh.
Having said that it could be useful for you to have another session and talk it through with her how it made you feel etc. Depending on what you’re working on, would it be helpful for you to stand up for yourself and discuss it with her?

YB1985 · 09/08/2025 22:06

Ceceprincess80 · 09/08/2025 18:20

Its just a standard email they send. Always tskr them up on the call rather th online session

threatening to take you to a debt collector shouldn't ever be on standard email

Catdaddy1978 · 09/08/2025 22:23

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 05/08/2025 11:20

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

Absolutely change therapists. That kind of behaviour is unacceptable but I would let them know why you stopped and why you won’t be continuing.

AlexStocks · 09/08/2025 23:06

Hey, therapist in training here. That experience is not ok. Please meet with her if for no other reason than to give feedback. That's a very aggressive late policy.

HevenlyMeS · 09/08/2025 23:21

Yes I believe this is good guidance, especially knowing there's others whom would read an email like this, & could be driven over the edge
Folks whom seek counselling, are already vulnerable & the counsellor's email was the opposite, of the compassionate, kind, caring tone, which should accompany, a job like counselling -

MarchionessVonSausage · 10/08/2025 01:24

That's terrible OP. I had almost the same thing happen last week with my psychologist. I do have her mobile and we texted back and forth trying to get the link to work.

After 15 mins of no success she suggested we give up and book another appointment, since we'd already wasted 15 of a 45 min session. She didn't charge me.

Unless you're really attached and gaining a lot of benefit from this therapist I don't think I'd see them again. Debt collection for this is WAY OTT.

JMSA · 10/08/2025 06:27

An actual counsellor behaving like this?!?
Nah. I’d be ditching her and telling her why.

BunnyLake · 10/08/2025 07:05

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 05/08/2025 11:39

This is what got me the debt collection part.

I was like what?

Show quote history

That would be it for me too. Threatening debt collection like that would not be a therapist I’d want to be talking to.

AmazonianWarrior · 10/08/2025 09:05

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 05/08/2025 11:20

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

I’m a therapist. This is not how you treat clients. I also have a therapist and it has happened that I was late or forgot my session and joined late. She never talked to me like that! Yes, we get people who take the biscuit but you’re clearly not that kind of person. Also, if she is charging you the full amount as a cancellation fee, then she owes you the whole session. For what happened with you, I’d not charge. It was a one off and beyond your control, and you have a track record of being reliable and responsible. She destroyed the rapport she built with you for the sake of a session fee. I’d definitely feed back to her how it made you feel, how rude and aggressive she was and I’d tell her you won’t be continuing spending your money with her. I’d also leave a review to warn other people, as others might not be as strong as you are and this kind of behaviour can really hurt people that are vulnerable. I’m really sorry you had such an overreaction from her, it’s not acceptable. It was definitely uncalled for.

nomas · 10/08/2025 09:10

She’s completely OTT and I would complain but why would you not email her or WhatsApp her at the first sign of IT issues?

My therapist and I arrange sessions via WhatsApps and would tell each other if we were delayed.

Champersandfizz · 10/08/2025 09:10

Yes,

This is why I feel there is something off with this narrative. I wonder whether the therapist is indeed, a therapist. No well-qualified therapist would behave like this or have a regular email structured this way, they would have been reported to their regulating body a long while ago, surely?

I did ask the OP to please post the actual message, as sometimes it feels like something is being said that others might interpret otherwise.

I'm not sure what it is, but this seems very very strange, no?

snowsjoke · 10/08/2025 09:12

Sounds like a standard, possibly automated email? Best to communicate about this surely?

ThisAzureBear · 10/08/2025 11:05

Nope, ditch. All trust gone now. As a possible 'standard email response' it is highly aggressive in stance and entirely inappropriate for the 'business' she is a practioner of. So sorry - not helpful for your mental health is it?

purpleygirl · 10/08/2025 12:10

I had talking therapy through the NHS. The therapist would send me a link to TEAMS but it could be difficult to get onto it. If there was a problem she would send me a message or I would message her and we would do a phone session as an alternative which I was happy with. She was very understanding.

This therapist, on the other hand, has completely undermined the therapist/client trust and if it happened to me, I would definitely not go back. It’s a shocking way to treat someone who has been seeing them for six months and I would report them.

Arran2024 · 10/08/2025 14:02

It is a real power imbalance- if she couldnt log in due to technical problems there would be no threats to her from you. She would apologise and reschedule. She is totally out of order. I only wonder if she uses a platform and has no idea about the message - she may have ticked "no show" and it was sent automatically.

pilates · 10/08/2025 14:21

Yes aggressive and I wouldn’t use her again.

DungareesTrombonesDinos · 10/08/2025 14:24

I do private therapy work and have to stay on the call for 30 minutes and try to contact by at least 2 methods e.g. phone call and email. Only after the 30 minutes can I mark as a DNA.

She's being ridiculous, I wouldnt go back.

Daggs · 10/08/2025 15:11

ThatKeenJadeLeader · 05/08/2025 11:20

I have been having therapy for 6 months. Not missed a session or a payment.

I live in an area where I depend on WiFi as mobile data is awful. Went to log into my session and my Teams wouldn’t load.

Tried rebooting etc, eventually got back online after 7 minutes but the teams wouldn’t load. Don’t have the therapists number so went to send an email apologising and saying I was trying to get on and couldn’t.

Was met by an email stating she had waited on call for 5 minutes, this slot could have been used by another person in need and I’m to make full payment for the session within 5 days or she’ll pass to a debt collection agency and all future planned sessions are now cancelled.

This happened within literally 10 minutes of me trying to get online.

I replied saying I had had some slight trouble getting onto the call and just made the payment.

She then replied saying it’s fine! Did I want her to call me to use the last 30 minutes of the session. I did not.

Am I being dramatic or is this really aggressive over ten minutes. I’ve always paid and I’ve been speaking to her for 6 months.

Im really put off now and don’t want to speak to her anymore. I fully understand she has a business to run but as a client who’s been with her that long it’s a bit OTT?

This is shocking behaviour from a therapist and not one I would wish to carry on seeing. I’ve often been a few mins late to mine and as long as I email her she’s always understood and when I had to can el last minute she put it in as a holiday session and was so understanding.
This counsellor sounds awful. There’s a lot of bad counsellors out there but some really ones, the last thing you need is to be worrying and stressing about payment so having her create this is appalling. Get rid of her immediately!!!!! ,

NothingLeftToInheritDarlings · 10/08/2025 19:03

As a (now retired) therapist, I am appalled by that level of aggression! She has completely shattered your working alliance - you'll struggle to feel safe with her again. Is she with any of the UK registered bodies - they do have quite strict rules about how you treat your clients.

I ended up charging up front for sessions as I had a lot of no shows when I was first practising, which does keep clients more focussed about turning up, but therapy online is often interrupted due to signal problems, and we all know this - I occasionally had to be flexible - also, what would have happened if it was HER tech not working?! Threatening you with debt collectors in 5 days is far too heavy-handed - I wonder what has gone on for her that has created that attitude?

I'm so sorry you are going through this - it's very hard to get up the courage to go into therapy in the first place, and this might really put you off. I do hope not.

When trying to find your next therapist, don't be afraid of interviewing them (I bloody did - had to have two full years as part of my training and ongoing supervision - and it's not cheap!) and ask them about their policies regarding this kind of thing.

Warmly, S xx

HevenlyMeS · 10/08/2025 20:47

Absolutely agree with every single word you so rightly mentioned
💚👌💚