Ex wants me to pay for kids’ school uniform

[dancingdad]

We are separated and have twins who are starting school this September. I pay her child care each month (£400). She’s sent me a long list of uniform they need for school. Am I right in thinking the child support I pay should go on this?
she has a kid by someone else too and the father was never asked to pay child support so I’m thinking my money will no doubt go on his uniform too!

Hahaha.

£400 a month for two children wouldn’t go far would it? Contributing to uniform seems fair to me.

Go halves on it.

£400 won’t go far raising two children.

Paying child maintenance doesn’t mean you don’t need to spend any additional money on your children.

It's unclear if she is working. If so, the childcare costs are for both of you and your children, not for her. I think that these days, uniform has to be a split cost. Luckily for my LP DD, I buy uniform bits/bobbles and her paternal grandfather gives towards school boots. How old are the children and are you struggling? Why don't you take then (as I do) and partly kit them out, they'll remember in years to come.

Go halves on big expenses like uniform seems the best idea

Wow. £400 a month. Bet that goes a long way when raising twins.

You're crackers if you think you're paying her so much she can afford to put some of that towards another child.

Considering the current payment works out at £13 per day per child to cover all needs, such as food, clothing, transport, potential luxuries/hobbies, then I cannot see how that would also stretch to two sets of school uniform. There will also be other potential costs incurred, such as lunch bags, plimsols, PE Kit, school shoes (which will grow out per term), and school trips. I guess the question should be, do you want to deny those things for your children? If so, why?

Well its just cost me £300 for uniform for 1 child you have 2 so that's £600 in uniform costs so please explain how you expect that to come out of your £400 cms for both children?
If you were a decent human being and father you'd offer to pay for half of the costs for your twins uniform and other school necessities

Do you think £400 a month can support two children including buying what they need for school?
But more importantly why don't you want to buy them what they need for school? If you buy the clothes they need in their sizes why would you assume the other child will also benefit?
Are you involved in your children's lives?

What’s the custody split, and how much should you be paying going via CMS?

No idea how people spend such silly money on uniform - hopefully you can use the supermarket.
Price up the list she sent you and give half the amount. Half each is fair.

He might have them 50/50, in which case it definitely would.

Half is fair.

I'm sure he would have said if he did

Well then he should be covering their costs , including uniforms etc on his days

Go and buy the uniform and put the children's names in it yourself if you are that worried the £2.50 polo shirt is going to be used by someone else.

Sounds like OP is paying for nursery (£400) Are you paying child maintenance on top? How much do you earn? How much does ex earn. How often do you have the DC? Impossible to say with only knowing your contribution to childcare. Also, why is it 'her' childcare? Presumably it's joint childcare and having that covered enables you, OP, to work???? It's your childcare as much as hers.

if 400 is all you pay (200 per child) then you must be having a laugh as it doesn't even cost the edges of bringing up children unless you have them a significant amount of the time and cover food, housing, utilities, clothes, hobbies.

How often do you have them

but yes uniform I think is an added extra so buy uniform the actual uniform or at least enough of it so it is an even split

£400 goes towards the day to day cost of raising your children, food, energy, internet, transport, higher rent/mortgage as your ex needs a home large enough for the children. School uniform, Christmas etc is an extra expense. It’s also none of your business how much your ex gets from her other former partner.

Don’t be a deadbeat.
Halves is the minimum you should do. £400 is not going far.
(What are you going to start when they want to start doing clubs/Cubs/Brownies?? Tell her to find it out of the £400? Don’t be that deadbeat.)

On the face of it you should pay half.

BUT alot of other factors could come into play really - what is your custody agreement - do you see your children etc? do you have a financial agreement that covers big expenses like this? is the money you send via CMS or less/more than what CMS would calculate?

It’s unclear, do you pay CMS plus £400 childcare? And how often do you have the kids overnight? More info is needed before a fair answer can be given

Are you not mortified to publicly post online that you only contribute £2,400 per year to the cost of each of your children?

Any man I know would be mortified and wouldn’t draw attention to it.

You pay £400 childcare. Is that towards nursery/childminder costs then child maintenance on top? Or £400 in total for 2 children?

If that's total per month then yes, of course you should pay towards their uniform. The LA may have a clothing grant available if your ex is on benefits. But it will probably be only around £50 per year per child.

You came on Mumsnet to ask if you, the child's parent needed to contribute towards the cost of your child's school uniform? If you have an issue with paying child maintenance, why not be a proper coparent and have your DC 50/50?