Page 23 | Ways middle aged men have told us off this week

Siblingsadness · 2025-08-04T09:06:16+00:00

I've got 2 today and it's not even midday yet I swim every day at 6am . There's normally about 6 of us, today I had the pool all to myself. I swam in one of the lanes as i am working on staying straight during certain strokes. After about 20 minutes a man got in the pool. I've seen him before, he always goes in the unlaned bit and does physio walking up and down. Today he came over to the lane and said I shouldn't be in there as its the fast lane and I wasn't fast. I thought he was joking so I laughed. He then said he wasn't joking and I needed to move. Of course I told him not to be ridiculous, no one else was in here and if someone fast wanted it, I'd move. He called me a silly batch. Then just now in tescos, I was in the pasta aisle and a man picked up a jar of pasta sauce and said "is this any good" I said I wasn't sure sorry, I normally just get the passata and put onion and garlic in it. He sort of mocked me and said "ooh good cook are you" I said yes, I'm OK and I enjoy it too. He then said "well at least I can parallel park you silly cow" Now I know I just encountered 2 nutters (maybe a third is on the way) but I'm a bit cheeky and a cow before lunch today despite just going for a swim and buying cheaper pasta ingredients. 🤣🤣

BillStickersWillBeProsocuted · 06/08/2025 09:15

CheshireDing · 06/08/2025 08:16

OP my response to the pasta sauce man would have been to tap the sauce jar hard in the lid so it fell out of his hand, then shout very loudly 'rude bastard in aisle 3 has dropped his sauce, clean up needed'

So you'd have deliberately made a mess for a shop assistant to clean up and made a spectacle of yourself? Yeah that’ll show him!

TheignT · 06/08/2025 09:17

CheshireDing · 06/08/2025 08:16

OP my response to the pasta sauce man would have been to tap the sauce jar hard in the lid so it fell out of his hand, then shout very loudly 'rude bastard in aisle 3 has dropped his sauce, clean up needed'

Yes deliberately making a mess for staff to clean up shows how superior you are. When I worked in a shop we used to say what a lovely job it was if only we didn't have certain customers.

TaupeLemur · 06/08/2025 09:23

Yesterday a bloke at work tried to explain something to do with the offside rule to me - unsolicited, I was talking to someone else about a football match - and when I told him I was both a FA qualified referee as well as a qualified football coach - qualified enough to coach at a paid level at academies he 1) said oh what so you think you know it all then 2) said being a ref ‘for girls’ wasn’t the same as being a ‘real’ ref …
whatever, middle age arsehole who thinks watching football qualifies him for everything.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/08/2025 09:25

florathedress · 04/08/2025 10:33

They won’t do anything. People just end up getting frustrated and annoyed because nothing happens to these wankers. They bully everyone in their path, If it’s a David Lloyd, they won’t even stand up to men waving their willies around in the female changing rooms pretending to be women in front of the children.

Show quote history

Can’t say I’ve seen that at my David Lloyd! Have you known this to happen?,

But lately I’ve been glad to see that they soon took action over someone trying to take a small child into the pool well before the 4 pm cut off* and ditto some teen boys (looked to me no more than 14 or 15) horsing around in the pool well before 4 again. Once a staff member spoke to them they were all out sharpish.

*after which there’s a lifeguard on duty.

TaupeLemur · 06/08/2025 09:27

HopelesslyWanderingStar · 05/08/2025 06:32

i live in south west London and this sort of thing happens to me at least annually, if not bi-annually

Show quote history

I frequently get random comments from random blokes, partly because I work in a ‘male’ heavy occupation and also coach a sport. Plus I’m gay and I can’t begin to tell you the number of men who like to comment on that.

Puffalicious · 06/08/2025 11:02

TaupeLemur · 06/08/2025 09:23

Yesterday a bloke at work tried to explain something to do with the offside rule to me - unsolicited, I was talking to someone else about a football match - and when I told him I was both a FA qualified referee as well as a qualified football coach - qualified enough to coach at a paid level at academies he 1) said oh what so you think you know it all then 2) said being a ref ‘for girls’ wasn’t the same as being a ‘real’ ref …
whatever, middle age arsehole who thinks watching football qualifies him for everything.

OMG, what an absolute arsehole. You're the expert here! Jeez.

ThatBlackCat · 06/08/2025 13:19

Richandstrange · 05/08/2025 15:50

The gas engineer who's come to do my gas safety check has just told me off for greeting him at the door because he was on a call and I talked over the person in his earpiece! How I was supposed to know he was on a call I'm really not sure, not to mention the fact that it's rude and unprofessional to be on a call when knocking a customers door but evidently I deserved a telling off regardless Currently sitting in my living room while he works debating the wisdom of going and telling him he's rude but DH will be home in 5 minutes so might leave it to him, bet he doesn't get a telling off!

I hope you report him to the company he works for, @Richandstrange .

amicisimma · 06/08/2025 14:16

Puffalicious · 05/08/2025 15:40

And I'll continue to post long posts if I like- which I'm allowed to do.

And I'll also continue to reply to passive aggressive posters, which I'm allowed to do. I don't need you posting information about my driving skills.

And I'll continue to curse bloody inconsiderate cyclists, despite them being legally allowed to be inconsiderate, which I'm also allowed to do. My DP & my 3 DS are huge mountain bikers - we're just back from a mountain biking holiday. DP has always said he has zero idea why people would want to cycle on a road as it's boring as hell, particularly a standard, busy road in a city like ours. I'm inclined to agree.

You have NO idea if I was giving him enough room. He was wobbling all over the place, I passed very slowly & gave a wide berth. He was pissed off at another driver too (male, big, fast car) & decided to abuse a woman in a nice car when I'd stopped because he could. Or are ALL cyclists justified in what they say on the basis of them being in your 'crew' of fellow cyclists?

Edited

Show quote history

Don't forget cyclists (and horses and pedestrians, where appropriate) use the roads by right. Car drivers use them by licence, which can be taken away.

All road users should travel at a speed which they consider to be appropriate for their experience, physical abilities and line of vision. More considerate cyclists travel two abreast as this makes the distance to overtake them shorter. No one should overtake anything if there is not enough road width to allow them to overtake a vehicle or a pair of cyclists, which takes up about the same width as a car.

As we can see on this, and other threads, there are a lot of drivers who are very inconsiderate of any other type of road user.

Richandstrange · 06/08/2025 14:53

ThatBlackCat · 06/08/2025 13:19

I hope you report him to the company he works for, @Richandstrange .

Show quote history

Already done He was actually on calls pretty much the whole time he was here and completed our check in record time going on previous years' example so we've made a complaint and insisted someone else comes out and does the check properly. He even left the boiler housing unscrewed and hanging off so I have no confidence he did any of it properly tbh.

DailyMaui · 06/08/2025 15:17

EdithBond · 04/08/2025 17:46

I had two blokes say ‘Cheer up!’ to me on a train once. I told them I’d just come from the hospital, where a loved one had died.

Was a lie. But I felt a valid one, because people men who say that shit to strangers women need to learn how inappropriate it is. And because it may’ve spared a woman who was genuinely going through hell.

Show quote history

ah yes I had this one from a cab driver - who had even picked me up from outside Great Ormond Street Hospital. "Cheer up love, might never happen," with a wink as if I'd be charmed by that.

"It already has, my six year old son is in that hospital as he almost died. He may be permanently disabled. I'll be as miserable as I fucking want."

To be fair he did apologise and shut the fuck up after that.

Puffalicious · 06/08/2025 16:18

amicisimma · 06/08/2025 14:16

Don't forget cyclists (and horses and pedestrians, where appropriate) use the roads by right. Car drivers use them by licence, which can be taken away.

All road users should travel at a speed which they consider to be appropriate for their experience, physical abilities and line of vision. More considerate cyclists travel two abreast as this makes the distance to overtake them shorter. No one should overtake anything if there is not enough road width to allow them to overtake a vehicle or a pair of cyclists, which takes up about the same width as a car.

As we can see on this, and other threads, there are a lot of drivers who are very inconsiderate of any other type of road user.

Show quote history

I've addressed this, & again don't need a lecture- it comes across as rather patronising. We're all entitled to an opinion. Over & out

Givemeachaitealatte · 06/08/2025 16:20

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 04/08/2025 11:00

Worst I’ve had lately was an elderly man working in his front garden telling me to ‘Cheer up!’ when I was hurrying after little Gdd, whizzing along to nursery on her bike - we were running a bit late.
OK, I don’t have a naturally smiley face, but this sort of thing seriously pisses me off.
The next day the annoying old bugger was still there, pruning his roses or whatever, so I stopped on the way back, and told him that I wasn’t in fact miserable yesterday, but unfortunately I just don’t have a permanently smiley face, so perhaps he’d like to refrain from making such remarks to random strangers in future.

Which was rather more polite than I was tempted to be!

Edited

This happened to me and I actually said to him quite matter of factly that is just been diagnosed with a brain tumour and so no, I wouldn't cheer up. He looked suitably embarrassed and fucked off.

BumpyWinds · 06/08/2025 16:29

This has just reminded me of the time that I asked the (male) Chair of our Residents Association if he could put an email out to a specific house to ask them to keep their dog's noise down (barking all day and night and keeping all the neighbours awake). He came back to me and said no he wouldn't contact them and that he was sure it wasn't as bad as I was making out and all dogs bark.

I got my husband to contact him instead and he sent an email the next day!

I don't even bother with him nowadays. He a misogynistic twat that doesn't like me because I embarrassed him in front of my DH once (he was being a sexist pig that day too and I got one over on him!).

One day I'll join the RA myself!

Original poster

Siblingsadness · 06/08/2025 16:40

I headed one off at the pass today. Went to aldi and as I was leaving a woman was struggling with a buggy, a trolley etc etc
I went to help, got her inside the entrance , and then turned and walked back out of the in door. I wasn't in the way at all. Middle aged bloke, did dramatic look at me then at the entrance sign , then me again, puffed his face out and shook his head.
Inspired by this thread , I went straight up to him and said "I was helping that lady who was struggling, I've come back out of the entrance as there (pointing) is my full trolley of shopping so I couldn't go all the way round" he got very flustered and tried to say he was thinking he must have been confused and picked the wrong way to go in. To which I replied "no you didn't, you were gearing up to tell me off " to which he replied "yeah fair enough, sorry love " and walked off!!!
What a result

OP posts:

Notsosure1 · 06/08/2025 18:50

That’s excellent, OP - shows that a lot of them are cowards when they’re actually challenged but they rely on us wee women to wither away and just take their condescension - bravo you 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👍🏻

Notsosure1 · 06/08/2025 18:55

Puffalicious · 06/08/2025 11:02

OMG, what an absolute arsehole. You're the expert here! Jeez.

Show quote history

I think there are a lot of sexually/financially frustrated men out there who seize upon the opportunity to take their problems out on someone they don’t feel threatened by.

They know younger or more attractive women wouldn’t give them the time of day, or they are married and put on weight, balding, so not much chance there either and they get angry at unobtainable women for just existing.

Then there are the arseholes who just want to lecture/tell off. They deserve to have the same treatment by other men but seldom do unfortunately

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 06/08/2025 19:28

Siblingsadness · 06/08/2025 16:40

I headed one off at the pass today. Went to aldi and as I was leaving a woman was struggling with a buggy, a trolley etc etc
I went to help, got her inside the entrance , and then turned and walked back out of the in door. I wasn't in the way at all. Middle aged bloke, did dramatic look at me then at the entrance sign , then me again, puffed his face out and shook his head.
Inspired by this thread , I went straight up to him and said "I was helping that lady who was struggling, I've come back out of the entrance as there (pointing) is my full trolley of shopping so I couldn't go all the way round" he got very flustered and tried to say he was thinking he must have been confused and picked the wrong way to go in. To which I replied "no you didn't, you were gearing up to tell me off " to which he replied "yeah fair enough, sorry love " and walked off!!!
What a result

👏👏

bananafake · 07/08/2025 00:28

DisabledDemon · 05/08/2025 12:04

Like one of the other PPs, I also had some twat come charging down the road at me when the obstruction (a line of parked cars) was on his side. I'd already started my progress and there had been a space to pull in part of the way along but he chose to ignore that. So, I stopped and put on the handbrake.

This idiot actually wanted me to reverse so that he could carry on regardless. I wouldn't do it, despite him being in an enormous truck (think Barbarian style). Eventually, after much name calling and gesticulating, it must have finally dawned on him that I have cameras on my car and he reversed to the space where he could have pulled in.

So, I go past him. Cue more name calling and he walloped my wing mirror with his hand. My mirror was fine but I do hope that his hand was as bruised as his ego (and if there were a few broken bones, I'll take that as a bonus).

Just another entitled, aggressive prick in a truck.

Yes I had this too. I was more than two thirds past the cars also and he was at the end in a van. Yet he wanted ME to reverse, maybe back 7-8 cars. He smirked at me thinking I'd back down. I'm normally pretty easy going about giving way but this really wound me up so I just turned off my engine. He gestured at me to reverse. I gestured back at him. After a couple of minutes stalemate he drove onto pavement to get past me. Very satisfying.

BellissimoGecko · 07/08/2025 07:45

PauliesWalnuts · 04/08/2025 15:33

I remember seeing exactly that tube train behaviour about three weeks after I'd moved to London when I was 30. I'd got on a carriage at Kilburn at the single door end of the carriage and was about to head for the one empty seat in the middle when an older man, maybe late forties, got in at the double doors and absolutely sprinted down the carriage to get the seat. He threw himself in and flicked a look of utter victory at me who was just aghast as I'd not yet mastered tube behaviour.

A stunningly beautiful woman around the same age as him (Kristen Scott Thomas type of posh) was sat directly opposite the seat he'd taken. She met his eye and said "God, I don't think you could be any less attractive to a woman right now" and gave him a slow handclap. It was one of the most glorious things I've ever seen (and he shuffled off at Finchley Road...)

Show quote history

Love this!!

BellissimoGecko · 07/08/2025 08:17

Puffalicious · 05/08/2025 16:15

You can do exactly as you please, but cyclists who are going to work are not inclined to go super slowly 2 or 3 abreast just for the hell of it because they're legally allowed to. That's just pita behaviour. I'm legally allowed to drive at 10mph, or walk around in my bikini at Sainsbury's, or play drums at 8am- doesn't mean I'll do it, because I'm cognisant of others' points of view.

When cyclists start legally paying road tax & legally needing insurance I'll have more sympathy. Until then I'll give the same sympathy I did to the cycling twerp who scratched my car, had no insurance & claimed poverty, so the police couldn't proceed- ie none.

Show quote history

Oh God. You don’t pay road tax either. Nobody does. You pay car tax, which goes into the government fund and is used for various projects.

And the Highway Code says that cyclists should ride two abreast - it’s safer for them and helps them to be more visible to impatient car drivers.

EveryDayisFriday · 07/08/2025 08:52

SlashBeef · 04/08/2025 11:03

I sometimes dream of a random man being rude to me because I have a lot of pent up frustration. I'd like to be an absolute bitch back.

Me too

Puffalicious · 07/08/2025 09:56

BellissimoGecko · 07/08/2025 08:17

Oh God. You don’t pay road tax either. Nobody does. You pay car tax, which goes into the government fund and is used for various projects.

And the Highway Code says that cyclists should ride two abreast - it’s safer for them and helps them to be more visible to impatient car drivers.

Show quote history

Enough already! I'm done with this. I'm allowed not to like road cyclists, as you're allowed not to like car drivers 🤷.

And everyone I know still calls it road tax- I'm old & it's no doubt regional. I was in the Post Office the other day & a man younger than me asked to renew his road tax. It's a tax, okay?

All this blooming back & forth doesn't excuse the rude, abusive misogynist cyclist!