To be absolutely distraught

[Adioss]

So, my ex and I split 2 weeks ago and he is already seeing somebody new. We were together for 18 years with 2 children. He said he fell out of love a while ago but it still hurts like hell, the kids have already met the new woman and I am utterly heartbroken

He’s happy for now. But no doubt he’s a cheating scum bag that may well treat this new woman appallingly later down the line. Introducing his new woman to your children 2 weeks after you’ve split is unbelievable. Just keep going one day at a time.

I would never have him back, I’m 100% sure of that. I just have to get through this and be strong for my children.

Oh love, happened to me 3 months after we split (had been married for 25 years). Can only imagine how you feel.

I was told and at the same time informed that DC had met her.
DD declared “she’s lovely” - total dagger to the heart.

I could have dealt with the split alone but it’s like he has kicked me in the stomach numerous times, the new woman so soon, introducing the kids.

How long did it take to come to terms with it all? I can barely make a cup of tea without crying at the minute

Unfortunately, men tend to end a relationship when they have someone to move on to.

My ex husband told me in the later days of our marriage that he “couldn’t wait to trade me in for a younger model.”

Shortly after, in comes a 22 year old uni student. He was 37 at the time, I was 32. Younger model indeed.

He already had her lined up, clearly, because he’s a dick - I’m sorry your ex is too.

Oh god, you poor thing. What an utter scumbag. I can’t believe he’s introduced her to the new woman already. Putting his dick ahead of his children’s wellbeing, as so many men do. I’m so sorry this hads happened to you. Agree with PPs, he’s been cheating with her before you split. I know it hurts like hell right now, but deep down you know you are better off without him. He’s treated you appallingly. The person you thought you loved doesn’t exist I’m afraid. Decent men do not behave like this. He is not a decent man.

But he hasn't moved on after 2 weeks. Hes very clearly been seeing her for a while. Youve had the bombshell of your marriage ending. He checked out a long time ago when he met the OW.

Introducing them to your children this early is disgusting. How old are they

They are 5 and 8

Tell the kids he has great taste in women

Well it’s precisely 10 days since he told me and I have literally experienced every imaginable emotion. I always knew at some point he would
find someone else but I didn’t expect it be so quick (so God only knows how you must feel).

It’s not DD’s fault but I feel so let down that she met the GF and didn’t tell me.

The only way I have been able to cope is
by raging to my closest friends who just let me rant.

You are in shock so just be kind to yourself, it will ease and a point will come when you’ll understand you’re so much better off without him. Sending you a huge hug

Trying to hold everything in when they told me she was nice was tough!

Well he's a horrible pig and a liar.

No wonder you're distraught.

I'm so sorry @Adioss this must hurt like hell.

Whaaaaat. I thought you were going to say teens

Hes a scumbag. Hes blown their wee worlds apart by leaving then before they can even start to process this he brings along the OW to meet them. Wtaf.

He needs to think of his children and not his dick. The priority should be making the children feel secure. He's a disgrace

Jesus! He has no shame. I'm angry on your behalf.

My ex did the exact same thing luckily we didn't have children but was with him about 10 yrs. Two weeks after we split he phoned me to tell me he had a date and he didn't want me to hear about it on the grapevine. It turned out he'd been cheating on me for ages and lots of people knew including his brother who I considered a good mate. I was absolutely devastated at the time OP. I thought I'd never get over it but I did and so will you. Two weeks must be the length of time they deem it suitable to throw another grenade into your life. I've said this before on mumsnet but my dad told me at about 10 years old that 'all men are bastards'. He hasn't been far wrong to date. Let him get on with it, hold your head up high and never let him see how much he has hurt you. With time you will look back and see all his faults and will thank him for being the one that ended it. Sending you lots of strength.💐There are loads of women on here who know what you're going through.

It is totally possible to meet someone straightaway but it's far too soon to be introducing her to the children.

To be fair - he might have told her a bunch of lies, he is the lying pig here! Must be so tough :(

If he broke up with you, OP, he’s definitely had this woman lined up for a while.

they don’t jump unless there’s a soft landing.

My kids had met his girlfriend before we split up. He used to take the kids to hers and would tell them he was teaching her self defence in her bedroom but they shouldn't tell me as I would get upset.

The night that I told him to leave I actually told him to go back to his girlfriend. The next morning I saw his best pal as that's where he said he was staying and I asked what him and ex got up to last night and he just looked at me as if I were stupid then obviously clicked he was the cover story and said oh we just talked. He had moved in with her that night.

Nearly 11 yrs on they are getting married but to this day say they only started seeing each other after the split.

I met my OH 6 weeks after we split, I thought he was just going to be someone who would make me feel better about myself maybe last a few months just meeting each other when we had no kids but here we are, bought a house, I looked after him when he had a massive breakdown and he is looking after me now with all my health issues going on. My youngest turned 18 over a week ago so I no longer have to talk to him about anything unless there is an emergency with one of the boys.

That's hard but better that she's actually nice to your dcs rather than being an absolute bitch to them.
Sorry you've had such a shock. At least hes shown who he truly is and that's most likely a cheater. Yes it all seems shiny and new but that will wear off at some point. Hopefully Karma will come and bite him on his large lieing arse soon.

. I am so sorry it hurts like hell, of course you feel devastated, I hope that there you have some good support around you as this is such a horrible thing to have to cope with. Sadly most men who leave have somone to go to, they rarely leave so they can take time out to focus on why the relationship didn't work out and to reflect on what they want to change about themselves for the future.

So sorry you are going through this. You sound a great Mum and he sounds awful. Things will get better and you’ll get lots of good advice from MNs who have been through similar.

Of course it was tough. It will get better though. Right now you have to keep remembering that you have done nothing wrong, so you need to be finding a good solicitor who can help you secure the best possible outcome for you and your children.

A thought: How 'hands on' was he as a Dad? I am wondering if the so-called introduction to partner was more for him to have someone to help with childcare when it was his contact day.

Sadly they will do whatever they want to get what they want. At the moment he wants this new woman because it is all shiny and new. I am furious on your behalf that he has introduced your little ones to her.