Page 12 | To be absolutely distraught

Original poster

Adioss · 14/09/2025 10:32

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/09/2025 09:56

How are you feeling now?

A lot better thank you. Onwards and upwards! It’s been really hard emotionally and having to put a brave face on for the kids, probably the hardest thing I have ever done.

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ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 14/09/2025 10:58

Well done for staying strong. You sound so positive compared to your first post. Are you still staying with your parents? How are the kids feeling? Are you making plans for the future or just not ready yet? You need to do things in your own time, but honestly it’s so good to hear you saying “onwards and upwards”. You’ve come so far.

Pessismistic · 14/09/2025 13:53

Adioss · 14/09/2025 10:32

A lot better thank you. Onwards and upwards! It’s been really hard emotionally and having to put a brave face on for the kids, probably the hardest thing I have ever done.

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Good for you op. It’s not going to be easy but there is light at the end of your tunnel. Keep being strong and brave for the kids your doing amazing remember he’s the twat who made this mess now your fixing it. When the kids are old enough where you don’t need to rely on him for pick ups etc he won’t be able to fuck you around he’s just a selfish man.

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 10:33

Pessismistic · 14/09/2025 13:53

Good for you op. It’s not going to be easy but there is light at the end of your tunnel. Keep being strong and brave for the kids your doing amazing remember he’s the twat who made this mess now your fixing it. When the kids are old enough where you don’t need to rely on him for pick ups etc he won’t be able to fuck you around he’s just a selfish man.

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I’m so angry, my son had a party to go to yesterday and he was really excited (one of his school friends). I shared all the details to my ex and he had plans at that time with the new woman so didn’t take him.

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Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 10:33

i mean he was selfish and lazy before I ended it but. He is getting so much worse

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OchreSnail · 15/09/2025 10:53

Adioss · 03/08/2025 20:09

So, my ex and I split 2 weeks ago and he is already seeing somebody new. We were together for 18 years with 2 children. He said he fell out of love a while ago but it still hurts like hell, the kids have already met the new woman and I am utterly heartbroken

I'm so sorry you're going through this, op. I had exactly the same situation - 2 girls, 18 years, even down to introducing the children, which was how I found out he was with someone else already. Turned out he'd been seeing her for nearly a year.

All I can offer is, it does get better. Horrible, horrible feeling at the time though ❤️

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 11:02

OchreSnail · 15/09/2025 10:53

I'm so sorry you're going through this, op. I had exactly the same situation - 2 girls, 18 years, even down to introducing the children, which was how I found out he was with someone else already. Turned out he'd been seeing her for nearly a year.

All I can offer is, it does get better. Horrible, horrible feeling at the time though ❤️

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he has definitely been seeing her a lot longer, looking back there were signs, he wouldn’t allow me to put anything on social media that showed we was together, frequently working late etc.

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Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:09

Adioss · 15/09/2025 10:33

I’m so angry, my son had a party to go to yesterday and he was really excited (one of his school friends). I shared all the details to my ex and he had plans at that time with the new woman so didn’t take him.

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I would have been fuming did your son get to go? He really is a selfish pig.

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 12:13

Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:09

I would have been fuming did your son get to go? He really is a selfish pig.

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No he didn’t go!

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Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:17

Adioss · 15/09/2025 12:13

No he didn’t go!

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Aww I’m so sorry he’s letting his kids down. I hope you’re claiming maintenance from him. How often is he having them now?

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 12:23

Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:17

Aww I’m so sorry he’s letting his kids down. I hope you’re claiming maintenance from him. How often is he having them now?

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He has them 2 nights a week now, he is paying maintenance. One of the days the kids are at school anyway so it’s pointless but he won’t have them on a Saturday as obviously he has better things to do.

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Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:48

Adioss · 15/09/2025 12:23

He has them 2 nights a week now, he is paying maintenance. One of the days the kids are at school anyway so it’s pointless but he won’t have them on a Saturday as obviously he has better things to do.

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So basically he gets the easy time and you get the difficult honestly he’s just too selfish most decent dads would want them more. Take his money let him do him and there will come a time when dc won’t want to go and time will come when he won’t be needed. It’s his loss I’m sorry for you though he has controlled everything so far. When it comes to Xmas and birthdays etc only let him have them if it’s his night and if he says he wants them for a weekend birthday or Christmas tell him to fuck off he can’t pick and choose his slots. The kids are human beings with feelings not to be messed around by him being a selfish prick. Don’t let him dictate to you they live with you he left he has to fit around you.

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 13:08

Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 12:48

So basically he gets the easy time and you get the difficult honestly he’s just too selfish most decent dads would want them more. Take his money let him do him and there will come a time when dc won’t want to go and time will come when he won’t be needed. It’s his loss I’m sorry for you though he has controlled everything so far. When it comes to Xmas and birthdays etc only let him have them if it’s his night and if he says he wants them for a weekend birthday or Christmas tell him to fuck off he can’t pick and choose his slots. The kids are human beings with feelings not to be messed around by him being a selfish prick. Don’t let him dictate to you they live with you he left he has to fit around you.

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I will honestly never understand his thought process around the kids. After his days he will happily go a week without even calling them. It’s like he just disappears. It’s embarrassing that he see’s his new woman’s child more than his own, and on the only day where he can spend quality time with them she is sniffing around!

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Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 13:19

Adioss · 15/09/2025 13:08

I will honestly never understand his thought process around the kids. After his days he will happily go a week without even calling them. It’s like he just disappears. It’s embarrassing that he see’s his new woman’s child more than his own, and on the only day where he can spend quality time with them she is sniffing around!

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Unfortunately this is what selfish men do there new partner becomes there priority and he’s keeping her happy so is with her kid more. it’s like he’s forgetting he has his own kids. Even more reason not to let him dictate to you. You will come through this and one day he will look back and regret not being there for his kids.

Original poster

Adioss · 15/09/2025 17:03

Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 13:19

Unfortunately this is what selfish men do there new partner becomes there priority and he’s keeping her happy so is with her kid more. it’s like he’s forgetting he has his own kids. Even more reason not to let him dictate to you. You will come through this and one day he will look back and regret not being there for his kids.

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I really miss the kids when they go but I do enjoy the time alone. If he genuinely had their best interests at heart I don’t think it would bother me but then again we would probably still be together if that was the case.

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Pessismistic · 15/09/2025 17:14

Adioss · 15/09/2025 17:03

I really miss the kids when they go but I do enjoy the time alone. If he genuinely had their best interests at heart I don’t think it would bother me but then again we would probably still be together if that was the case.

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I get you miss the kids but it’s good to enjoy ur free time because your doing the bulk of the parenting so you deserve a break. I know it’s hard but some men think with there dick first unfortunately and if women like his new girlfriend had respect for women men wouldn’t have the chance to cheat but some women just don’t care about the impact of the family there ruining they just think of themselves.

dramaticshit · 15/09/2025 17:23

He’s just got a new nanny op!
I’m so sorry he’s doing this to you but he is showing his true colours. It may hurt like hell now but I promise in a years time you’ll be so much better

TheGreatWesternShrew · 15/09/2025 18:19

If it makes you feel any better the kids will eventually realise. My dad did similar, although I was a bit older.

I threw a pint over her at the pub when I was about 16. My mum says it was glorious 😂

Original poster

Adioss · 19/09/2025 20:57

My daughter sent a picture of her and her brother to exes parents and he replied with a picture of him, ex MIL, ex and that woman! Whyyyyy!

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ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 19/09/2025 21:20

Because he’s trying to force her into the family as quickly as possible to make her the new accepted norm. Only kids emotions don’t work like that. I hope your daughter is okay.

Pessismistic · 19/09/2025 21:26

Unfortunately he’s moving on try and not let this get to your doing really well and he’s still being a dick. Men move on so easily it’s not emotional it’s sex sadly he doesn’t care or respect you enough to be careful of how he’s behaving he’s just thinking of himself as per usual.

PyongyangKipperbang · 19/09/2025 23:47

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 19/09/2025 21:20

Because he’s trying to force her into the family as quickly as possible to make her the new accepted norm. Only kids emotions don’t work like that. I hope your daughter is okay.

Pretty much this.....

"THE PAST DIDNT HAPPEN!!!!"

Pathetic, although I would be utterly disgusted that his parents are buying into this.

mjf981 · 19/09/2025 23:53

Ugh I'm sorry. What a shit.

I have a friend who recently split up with her husband (he had an affair). 2 young kids together. Within a month the new woman was pregnant - he told her on her birthday, which was the same day he gave her the divorce papers. Now he's trying to hide assets and turns the kids against her. She's lovely and broken. And she's done nothing wrong at all - he had the bloody affair!!

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/09/2025 01:33

mjf981 · 19/09/2025 23:53

Ugh I'm sorry. What a shit.

I have a friend who recently split up with her husband (he had an affair). 2 young kids together. Within a month the new woman was pregnant - he told her on her birthday, which was the same day he gave her the divorce papers. Now he's trying to hide assets and turns the kids against her. She's lovely and broken. And she's done nothing wrong at all - he had the bloody affair!!

Edited

Your friend will get the last laugh on that one.

The shiny sex goddess is already pregnant? Thats fucking hilarious (although it does take a while for the punchline). Give it a year and his new wonderful life will start looking just like his old life except that he has less money, more demands and fewer friends. The new partner will have less patience and more demands, she wants him to keep his promises. His older kids are angry and "difficult" (in his view) and the old problem solver, your friend, isnt solving his problems anymore. The judge will see through his bollocks, as will CAFCASS. She needs a good lawyer and a forensic accountant though, just to be sure.

As I say, she will get the last laugh.

Motherbear44 · 20/09/2025 08:25

PyongyangKipperbang · 20/09/2025 01:33

Your friend will get the last laugh on that one.

The shiny sex goddess is already pregnant? Thats fucking hilarious (although it does take a while for the punchline). Give it a year and his new wonderful life will start looking just like his old life except that he has less money, more demands and fewer friends. The new partner will have less patience and more demands, she wants him to keep his promises. His older kids are angry and "difficult" (in his view) and the old problem solver, your friend, isnt solving his problems anymore. The judge will see through his bollocks, as will CAFCASS. She needs a good lawyer and a forensic accountant though, just to be sure.

As I say, she will get the last laugh.

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Absolutely 💯 this.