To think private schools are more about parental ego than children’s education?

[ForPlainAmberFox]

Yes, they may get results. But isn’t a huge part of private schooling about parents wanting the status symbol of saying their child goes there? AIBU to think it’s more about ego than learning?

‘Merch’

Oh no not ego.

It’s about the status quo. Wanting to maintain it and ensure your child benefits from it.

Ha, ha! Maybe our analogy falls down 🤣

One reason I can see though is that private schools get better GCSE grades as a result of smaller classes, i gcses, better behaviour in some cases etc. So I suppose pre 16 in private can maximize chances of DC getting grades needed to do chosen A levels back in state…

I think education is more on the individual post 16, purely my opinion, so PS is less cost effective. With the education tax introduction, I think more people will be doing A levels at state schools or maybe even home learning.

Honestly you clearly have not been to any local private schools because you are doing the whole private schools are prestigious sort of thing and local private schools are not like that at all.

we pulled our daughter out of a very much sort after free grammar school and put her in the local private.

She’s autistic and could not cope with the sensory overload in classes of 30 plus. Her private school has had zero building investment so is falling down in places, has demountable classrooms and no playing fields so the kids walk to a local gym twice a week. But god it saved her - she went from being a school refuser to applying for unis because she is bright.

her twin stayed at the very much sort after free grammar school - this grammar school is considered far more prestigious and has better facilities than my daughters local private. I also consider the education at the grammar much better than the private.

but people like you who keep petuating a myth that private school always equals prestige - it doesn’t - a few do yes - but there are also free government schools which are prestigious too

Total crap. Loads of people at private are the first in their family to go for myriad reasons. The whole "landed gentry keeping down the plebs" thing is so old. There are maybe a dozen schools that you might make that case for out of the hundreds of independents. This debate always goes the same way because the anti brigade don't have a clue what they're talking about in most cases.

😂😂😂 quite

You are generalising too much OP. These issues are very area-specific.

For instance, in grammar school areas, there will be snobbery about who got into the grammar and who did not.

For people who use the 7-13 prep school system, it's not about whether your DC is going to a private school or not (because they all will be), but a case of which one. Most will be going to boarding schools at 13. All sorts of shenanigans on that front. The preps in places like Berkshire are notorious for all this.

Where I live in SW London, we are surrounded by the likes of St Paul's Girls (and Boys), Godolphin and Latymer and Latymer Upper as the 'top tier' schools. Then, closely behind, are schools like Putney High, and a few others. Then there are the 'back up schools' (no these are not comprehensives in special measures, but independent schools that are still very selective and get very good results to match). So round here, it's not about going to a private school per se - because you might not even know anyone who uses the state secondaries. It's about which school they are able to get into via the exams and interviews. Some schools have 1,500 applicants for 100 plsces, si you can imagine the tiger parenting going on. Many families will send their DC to boarding schools as a way of saving face if they don't get into the very top tier schools - "oh but they di actually need space for their sporting genius to flourish, you see, and we could only find it at Marlborough. He simply isn't a fit for St Paul's, he's too well-rounded."

So to summarise, I'm not sure if people brag in other parts of the country about using some local private school, but in my area- specific experience, going to a 'back up' (less selective private school) is not seen as any great shakes, no.

It’s frustrating how often private school families shoulder the burden, only to be vilified by those who benefit from their taxes. If private school parents stopped playing nice and demanded either lower taxes or greater say in how their contributions are used, the system might finally be challenged. In many ways, they’re the unsung benefactors of a public school system that doesn’t always treat them with respect.

Honestly, maybe it's time for a radical rethink of education altogether. If AI continues evolving, who knows—one day traditional schooling might be obsolete, replaced by personalized learning that actually reflects the needs and values of each family.

Yeah same with my kids local senior school (which I appreciate isn’t the same for everyone). So no, private isn’t always better. In fact there are more extra curricular at my kids school and they also have an Astro, full theatre, gym etc. Grades are about the same so your generalisation is the point OP is making .

This thinking is l flawed as it’s your choice to pay for education. We all pay taxes for a lot of things we don’t use - social services for example and that’s how our society works. I pay lots of taxes for things I don’t or haven’t used - social services, benefits, health etc

I don't agree. I also don't think it is purely about education and results.

Any kid i've met that has attended private school has been very well equipped in speaking to adults, public speaking and generally more confident and balanced.

That helps in all walks of life, regardless of whether you are academic or see uni / job titles as successes.

Better results at our local senior schools that the local private schools so this isn’t always true.

Yep my bank balance absolutely loves the ego boost 😂🙄

Yes it’s choice to pay for education, a choice that saves the state £8k per year per child (4 billion a year saving) and society gets a tax payer at the end (hopefully). It’s really a win win for everyone, what exactly is the problem?

Absolute rubbish for most although clearly some like saying that Jonny is at Eton.

My DSs went to a well known and well regarded school. I don’t shout about it and it was a very late decision to send them there. Nothing to do with my ego… more about us being concerned that the shit school they were allocated wouldn’t be a good fit for them. They both loved it and wanted to stay for A levels. They’ve kept up with state primary friends and gave a good range of friends.

Well you’ve clearly already decided what you think, haven’t you, OP, given your responses to posters so far?

I’m a teacher who has taught in both state and independent sectors. I also went to a state (selective grammar) school myself from 11-16 then to an independent on a full scholarship for sixth form. There is a HUGE difference in standards of education. Like, incomparable.

My daughter is about to start at a well known independent school (top 10 in uk). Our local state alternative has metal detectors on the gates. Do you still think it’s about ego?

But I don’t imagine you’ll ever accept that; you just fancy an argument.

I’m not the OP nor do I fancy an argument but I have also been to both private and state so can soeak abiut both. These aren’t universal truths just your experience. And while your experience clearly shows why people would want to send to private where I am the senior school is better than local private schools so for that specific reason it is ego. Because again in my example why would you spend all the money when the local has better a level results, better facilities and more extra curricular? There are three around us and this is true.

There isn’t a ‘problem’ just the point that complaining about paying into a system and then not using it doesn’t mean this is doing anyone a favour. Again I pay into (as I’m sure you do as well) money for benefits and social services and I don’t use either of these.

Of course you wouldn’t spend the money. You are immensely privileged to be in this position.

this opinion really depends upon what other alternatives there are in the area. In Cornwall for example there are no grammar schools/. so its private or live in SE cornwall to access the plymouth grammars.

Well presumably there are limited places and so all the people who have sent their children to the local private school would not get a place at the state school which, given how good it is, will be likely oversubscribed. Or are you suggesting the local state school should double its paces to accommodate everyone who might want a place there?

This makes zero sense. Like completely batty.

Yes, the differernce is children NEED to be educated. So either the parents pay, or the state pays.

If you don't use a social service because you don't need it, it's just not needed.

Of course, but isn’t the point that people are complaining about PS parents paying twice because of their ego, not the actual PS parents? Why? Seems an odd thing to get upset about.I don’t get the obsession.