To think private schools are more about parental ego than children’s education?

[ForPlainAmberFox]

Yes, they may get results. But isn’t a huge part of private schooling about parents wanting the status symbol of saying their child goes there? AIBU to think it’s more about ego than learning?

How very dare he, nasty little pleb - surely he knows deep down how much more you love your kids than he does his, and should be raging with envy and secret admiration!

That only works if the school in question has a reputation, like Charterhouse. There are plenty of good but run of the mill private schools that no one has heard of, so don’t see how your idea tracks at all.

Another thread brimming with envy, jealousy, bitterness, and resentment toward private schools—at least four seem to appear every week.
Let’s not forget that private school parents pay taxes too, contributing to state schools. If they didn’t care about the rest of society, they’d have fought to pay far less and not supported those who criticize them.
Feeling snarky today, I can't help but add a touch of sarcastic realism and futurism. I’m optimistic about AI’s evolution and hopeful it will advance enough to resolve these issues. After all, no one will outpace AI, regardless of the school they attended.

Oh come on - for some it’s definitely a status thing! Deep down you know that too hence the outraged responses on this thread!

The teens give it away they are drenched in “merch” as they call it from their schools and very proud to go there. None of the state schools teens are. I think it’s quite sweet that it means so much to them.

Am not criticising / bitter etc either bloody good effort if you can afford to send multiple children to private school - it’s absolutely eye wateringly expensive - we are decent earners albeit with zero family support and baulked at it (but our state schools are fine here). No doubt if we had gone our teens would be wearing the hoodies with pride too. Actually dd2 does anyway as she nicks her pals !

Oh come on - for some it’s definitely a status thing! Deep down you know that too hence the outraged responses on this thread!

😂🤷‍♀️ no. But as the annoying MN phrase goes, you do you. No one’s going to change your mind, especially when it’s coated in bitterness and envy.

Reslly far from bitter and angry! Mine are nearly out the other end of education and all good so no axe to grind here. Just my observations mixing in a city with friends and family that do both. How do you explain the difference in pride / advertising between state / private - it’s pretty noticeable.

State schools don’t advertise, what are you talking about?

I am sure that many state school children would wear merch if they were allowed to buy it. That is one of the issues that used to frustrate me when my children were at state primary. You couldn’t really do anything for the children because obviously many couldn’t afford it which is totally understandable but ultimately the end result is it is hard to create an atmosphere where the children are proud to wear their gear and create and sense of unity. Private schools don’t have that restriction really so children get the merch and all the fancy kit and therefore have a sense of collective identity. I don’t know how you resolve that but I don’t think blaming private schools for that is very fair nor is it a case of ‘showing off’.

Private school is never just about the results. It’s about the whole educational experience - from teachers who don’t strike, art rooms that are stocked, loads of extra curriculum activities that everyone can do (not just an eg chosen 5 in the year), functioning sports teams, recognition that competition exists in the world and not everyone can win or play a part, to a greater chance of your child’s potential being spotted because they’re not one of 35 in a class dominated by a few massively bored bright kids and another 3-4 insanely disruptive kids

School experience is so much more than exam results. We have used state but when one of our children got to secondary they just absolutely didn't thrive in the environment. It's pretty scary watching a child crumble before your eyes. Different children suit different schools and I make no apology for seeking out a school that works for my child. Im a teacher so have a pretty realisitc understanding of the differences in different schools.Happiness, sporting and musical opportunities all make up a package that informed our choices as parents. It really wasn't so we could swank around then supermarket with a child in a fancy uniform...

Absolutely 💯 . But when people can’t afford something that good, it helps them make sense of it in their mind if they criticise / make fun of it, suggest it’s all about the results / looking better to others etc. So ludicrous of course but it helps people justify or make sense of what they can’t have for themselves. It’s human nature I suppose, or in short hand - envy.

Well, to a certain extent the original post is correct - for me it is important that my child can achieve his potential. I was not happy when he was given up on, call that ego if you want to.
The scandal is that we have to pay a fortune for him to get a chance - every child should have that chance.
in my experience the people most vocal about private schools have either paid a fortune to move next door to a good state school, or pretend to be religious to get into a faith school.
People who just happen to get into a great school or are genuinely religious and got into a faith school usually know they are lucky!
Weirdly enough, the parents in our local (abysmal) state school would live to go private (well, the ones who care about their kids’ education!)

I have never bragged about my children’s school, I never volunteer the information because of people like you. You clearly have a fixed view on this

My DD16 did state primary. She was diagnosed with ADHD and ASD. The local state school was absolutely crap for SEN so I found a small all girls school in the private sector that did have a great SEN department so she could get the support she needed in small classes with great pastoral care.

My second point is I wanted a single sex school, sexual abuse statistics in mixed secondary is way too high, 8 out of 10 girls report abuse with over 5000 cases in the last few years including over 500 rapes.
Im a lone parent, private school fees have been hard the last few years so none of this was about my ego, it was giving my daughter the support she needed in a safe environment.

She is now back in the state sector for six form college.

Tell me you know nothing about private school without…

Not really. Many parents want smaller classes for their children, reasonable facilities and accountability. The schools tend to be small so the children are individuals and any problems are easily identified and processes put in place to help.
Smaller schools can equal more opportunities for children and can help build the confidence of the students. Obviously completely up to parents but status-not so much.

Absolutely agree

Theres Merch?
I really do think I have fucked up this whole Private school thing

People really do talk some shite about Private schools, someone told me that someone had attended our local Private school open day in a helicopter!!!
No they didn't, I was there
Oh well but someone definitely went to Prom in helicopter
No, they didn't, I was there too

I disagree. They are paying for opportunities, a network of peers and confidence for their child. I can't blame them.

Branded sports kit mainly

So pe kit? As in part of the school uniform?

No, its PRIVATE school PE kit, very different apparently.
Used for showing off and ego boost rather than doing sport in

Ummm...in my town they'd get eaten alive if they walked through it in their uniform or kit. All this "deep down you know" and "protesting too much" is just gaslighting bullshit to try and prevent anyone giving their real, varied and very non egotistical reasons.

Now i know where i went wrong! the branded kit of my private schools 12 year olds consists of a tie, a pe shirt, a midlayer and a pe raincoat.
The merch of local secondaries (all branded merch): blazer, tie, jumper, trousers/skirt, pe bag, shoe bag, pe socks, shorts/skort, pe shirt, midlayer. one school (catholic, state) has even branded shirts in their merch .
We left state despite their superior merch.

Not new. I attended a direct grant girls' school on a 100% scholarship from the local council (predecessor to the Assisted Places scheme, far more generous, abolished by Labour in the mid 1970s). A girl from my primary school who hadn't passed the entrance exam told me that she'd been told that at my new school it would be all elocution and deportment lessons. I think even at 11 I knew where that sentiment was coming from.

When my son got into a very good independent school with a substantial academic scholarship, a local Labour councillor sneered and told me I should expect he would be bullied by the other boys because he'd previously attended a state primary school. Utter nonsense, of course. I stopped voting Labour at the council level after that.