To think the cafe staff should have given the money to this homeless man?

[Eastie77Returns]

I went to a cafe earlier today. There was a man outside who regularly sits with a sign stating he is homeless and asking for money. At one point a man came in, handed a member of the cafe staff a £20 note and left. It turned out he had given the staff this money to buy a meal for the homeless man who subsequently came into the cafe and ordered some food and drink. It was clearly a regular occurrence as the staff member automatically knew to charge the bill to the £20. When she had rung everything up she handed the man his meal and he asked for his change. She refused and said “No, the money is only to be used for food here. You know this. If you want to use any of the change you can order something else tomorrow”

The homeless man became angry and shouted that he wanted his money. The whole episode escalated and he began banging a table. A male member of staff eventually escorted/pushed him outside.

AIBU to think the cafe should have just given him the money??

"the money is only to be used for food here. You know this"

This would suggest the man has asked before for the change so he knows the answer already. Is it so wrong that he has another hot meal waiting for him the next day?

OP you haven't answered a relevant question asked by quite a few people = why do you think the man donating the money gave it directly to the cafe rather than straight to the man?

Then I stand corrected, but you wrote san francisco on the post. I can see where shes coming from but I still dont agree. I don't go to work to pay for someone's drugs.

I did write SF in the post, as the location is part of her story @Lilaclinacre

Up to you if you agree or not.

(And you do go to work to pay for someone's drugs - it's called the NHS)

I have never truly understood the point of Shelter. People experiencing housing issues on MN are always told to “contact Shelter” but it’s not clear to me how they help alleviate homelessness. I know they publish reports and give advice but £82 million seems like a colossal amount to spend doing that? Whilsr not providing even temp accommodation to rough sleepers.

What pedantry

The NHS is not the multimillion pound drug trade which contributes to further crimes like people trafficking, rape, child abuse, murder, theft...

I’m glad to see there are a few people who understand the “never give money to homeless people” rule is not universally accepted or applied. There is unfortunately a widespread misconception (as also evidenced on this thread) that homeless people are all feckless addicts who will spend any money they are given on H and a can of Strongbow. Yet many charities know this is not the case.

But it’s certainly been enlightening to read comments from the charity experts here who’ve worked with some homeless people and assume they’ve met them all.

Some of you have also stated that homeless people on the streets are there by choice as they could all be housed if they wanted to be. Right. So there’s a warm house or shelter waiting for anyone who needs it. And you call me naive.

You do understand the point of Shelter. As you said, they provide advice. They don't supply housing. Read their impact report if you're still confused.

Do you volunteer for homeless charities as well as donate regularly as this is obviously very close to your heart?

And yet you STILL avoid the question of exactly what you gave this poor, sweet homeless man who definitely hasn't got any problems (expect for kicking off at the cafe workers)

I don't give money to the homeless people in my town. Most are known addicts and shoplifters. If you give them money, they remember and will hound you for more when you see them. My town centre is a no go zone at night. They can be very intimidating.

There are charities and services that do great work here though. Sometimes, they get someone off the street and into a council flat with hope for the future. These are the people that will engage with them though. A lot don't. Some stay on the street because that is where their mates are.

Did you give money to the homeless man?

Oh no, wait, you didn't. You just criticised other people for feeding him.

But it’s certainly been enlightening to read comments from the charity experts here who’ve worked with some homeless people and assume they’ve met them all.
It would seem obvious in this case that the person giving the money to the cafe and the cafe itself do know this particular homeless person and we're prepared to put up with his abusive behaviour rather than give him the money. So it is likely they do know that giving him an the money would result in him spending it on drugs or alcohol. It's not his money. It was given to the cafe.

No . This cafe is doing a good job by facilitating a pay it forward scheme of sorts, they are being very reasonable by ensuring it goes to the individual intended , for the purpose intended. It’s a difficult line to tread and the man would have given it directly to the homeless guy if he’d thought he’d use it for food only.
Tbf , it’s probably highly unlikely he’d have taken it to Lidl for good budgeting. Most likely it’d be spent on drugs or alcohol.

And if he's homeless, where's he going to keep all this food he's going to buy from Lidl?

Yes, it sounds like this man might know the homeless chap quite well if this is a regular thing... possibly a relative. They might not be offer help in the way of taking him in or something like that, and they know that giving him money will be harmful, so giving a credit to the cafe is a way of helping but also having a healthy boundary around that too.

The cafe staff are saints for going all with it too, especially when this chap is abusive to them.

I hope they at least keep the change for another meal or a homeless charity

Well that's what they said wasn't it?

They told him to come back the next day and the change would be used

Give the OP a proper read.

The man gave the cafe money for food. If he wanted the gentleman to have cash he would have given him the £20 himself

Later I could see she was farming the shopping precinct and being controlled by another pasty faced chap who took some notes off her.

Which is another reason for not giving cash. The recipient often doesn't get to keep it.

I work with homeless. Never give them money. Beggers are generally not homeless in my experience btw.

BoredZelda

In any event, when you see someone on the street asking for money, don’t ignore them, at least give them some human interaction.

Totally agree with that.

I didn’t criticise the donor for feeding him. I criticised the cafe staff member who spoke to this man as if he was something she’d stepped on in the street.

Fair enough, she was complying with the wishes of the donor (not that I actually heard him say the man could not be given the change but perhaps that was a prior arrangement) but the way she treated the homeless man was awful. She clearly felt a lot of disdain towards him and in that case I think she should tell the donor she doesn’t want to participate in this pay it forward arrangement and avoid having the homeless man in her cafe. Treating someone with dignity doesn’t cost anything.

And then the homeless man doesn't get fed at all?
You saw a small exchange and have made a whole load of assumptions which you are bitching about with appearing to do anything yourself.

STILL not answering about what YOU gave him I see...