To think the cafe staff should have given the money to this homeless man?

[Eastie77Returns]

I went to a cafe earlier today. There was a man outside who regularly sits with a sign stating he is homeless and asking for money. At one point a man came in, handed a member of the cafe staff a £20 note and left. It turned out he had given the staff this money to buy a meal for the homeless man who subsequently came into the cafe and ordered some food and drink. It was clearly a regular occurrence as the staff member automatically knew to charge the bill to the £20. When she had rung everything up she handed the man his meal and he asked for his change. She refused and said “No, the money is only to be used for food here. You know this. If you want to use any of the change you can order something else tomorrow”

The homeless man became angry and shouted that he wanted his money. The whole episode escalated and he began banging a table. A male member of staff eventually escorted/pushed him outside.

AIBU to think the cafe should have just given him the money??

Personally I am making no assumptions as to why he wanted the money. that doesn’t matter the donor gave it for a specific purpose and therefore the cafe are right to use it for that.

I often ask someone who is homeless what they want from the shop, or I may pick up some bits when in and give it them when passing. If I want to donate money I will do it via a charity. That’s my choice as to how to use my money to hopefully help a bit.

YANBU. It's not for a cafe worker to make a value judgement on his lifestyle to say whether or not he should get the cash. Plus, they profited from the donation.

This why do you think the benefactor didn't give the homeless guy the £20
I think your extremely naive if you think he wanted change for some deodorant.

They didn't they said the change could go towards some food tomorrow.

Quite. And who are any of us to judge? There by the grace of God.

She was only involved because the donor chose not to give the chap the money.

You only saw a snapshot. Chances are she has this conversation with him over and over again.

These kind of arrangements do two things (a) access to food and drink from the cafe for someone who is homeless but also (b) income for the cafe because they are providing the food and drink.

Maybe mind you own business. Did you give him any money for his Lidl purchases?

Good question, did you OP?

And who are any of us to judge?

We are all just random people on the Internet and our opinions are of zero consequence to the man in question. There's no indication the cafe was being judgemental either.

There's probably a bigger backstory that is very relevant, so I don't think it's fair to judge.
However, from what you have said, I can see both sides.

No, the money is only to be used for food here. You know this.

This is not the first time she has had this conversation. The money is to buy from the cafe, nothing else.

If you felt that strongly why didn’t you give him some cash when you left?

Because it’s likely they know him more than you do and if the person who gave the £20 does it regularly, I’m sure they know what to do with the money and that knowing he’s definitely using it for food is best!

There’s a reason the person gave the money to the cafe, rather than the person himself in the first place. The same stands for the change.

Did you actually read all of the OP? The man was told that he could use the change for further food. This is a normal and well known situation within the homeless community.

Well off you pop then to Lidl with the guy to get him stuff. I am sure he will really appreciate your doing, rather than just watching

Profited from the donation? I'm sure they'd pay him £20 a day to not sit outside their place of business, putting off customers and yelling at the staff.

It wasn't "his" money. The cafe was given money, to feed him.

You've clearly stumbled into a longterm situation and decided you know best.

The fact that the person in the cafe said 'you know this' shows that this is some kind of long standing situation which you know nothing of. The person paying the cafe the £20 may be a family member who have given the cafe strict instructions not to give any of the money to the homeless person. YABVU to think that you know better in this situation. As for the patronising tone from the cafe worker, you don't know how much the recipient of the meal has tested his/her patience over the years.

The donor has explained to the cafe how he wants the money he has given them to be spent and they have agreed.

Who is to say what the ‘right’ thing to do in regards to giving help to homeless people is. Sadly, giving cash IS likely to be spent on drink or drugs (wouldn’t you want to block out life for a while if you lived on the streets). But maybe you should give it anyway as it removes the temptation to do something desperate such as theft. Or maybe just making sure they have got something to eat is good. I prefer to give to a local charity actively working to help homeless people get off the street. Some people give nothing - each way is a judgement call.

I feel sorry for the cafe workers in this situation.
Really rude of the homeless man to kick off like that. The deal had obviously been explained to him previously. They are damned if they try to help and damned if they don't

If you live in an area with a high level of homelessness then you wouldn't be asking this question.

Sadly it's a common occurrence. In some cases its the addictions that that have contributed to the homelessness and in other cases its the reverse. But the two can often go hand in hand.

There was probably about £7 change. The cafe worker could have just given him the cash so he had some autonomy. I’m not naive. He might have planned to buy drink or drugs. Or not? I try not to make assumptions about people. If I was the donor I would have wanted the man to have food, drink and then allowed to spend the rest as he saw fit.

Do you know where I live?

It was not the man's money. It was the cafes money, to buy him food. There's a difference.

The donator clearly wanted the cafe to provide the man with £20 worth of food and drink.

The cafe accepted the £20 to feed and water the man. It needs to be looked at like a voucher for food and drink not cash. It has zero cash value to the man. It’s credit for food and drink.

The man will have had his reasons and the cafe have an agreement with the man. It may even be a family member of the homeless person who comes in one or twice a week and tips up his account.