To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

I guess she has no other choice and needs to work

Where does the OP say that the cleaner didn't ask permission?

And how does her invalidate her insurance?

I mean you really wouldn't, posters are outraged at trades people using their loo so they certainly wouldn't want them trailing their kids around with them
I'm getting at the hypocrisy ,posters have decided that this cleaner is a single mother who doesn't have two pennies to rub together so have decided its just fine for her to bring her child to her cleaning jobs.

@Ddakji
You do realise some people have a different set of values to you? 🙄

Did she not ask first??

I have a cleaner who is brilliant, she has been working for us for years. Her son is now older and stays at home when she is working but when she started with us he was about 6 and too little to be left. She is a single parent and asked whether it would be OK for him to come on weeks she didn't have holiday clubs or similar for him. I have a son just a year older so was fine with it, and the boys just went on the Xbox or watched tv together.

But the key is she broached it with me first, she didn't just turn up with him and assuime it would be ok.

Fact she’s sat on sofa & not running around being a nuisance would mean it wouldn’t bother me at all , she’s not a toddler and you don’t even know she’s there really , having said that the cleaner probably should have checked it was ok with you out of courtesy .

It wouldn’t bother me if the kids were well-behaved, as in this case. We all bang on about how it takes a village but then we’re not prepared to be the villagers. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it would unsettle me but I would talk to the cleaner about it and make sure we were clear about ground rules - where the child is allowed, what rooms etc, that I’m not responsible for any emergencies and that this is a temporary situation for a specific length of time. For 2-3 hours for 6 weeks or whatever I’d let it go if I liked the cleaner otherwise. And because I’m an overwhelming sort of host would likely set the child up on my telly with a snack. But I have children and an open house so there are often extra ones around so I’m used to it.

Plenty of people would be fine with tradies bringing well behaved kids too.

I'm guessing the part where she's querying wethervm to raise it with her cleaner ??

Not on mumsnet they wouldn't.

Some people are outraged at tradespeople using the loo and they're the same ones agreeing with you on this thread.

Do you genuinely not believe in the existence of people with a different opinion?!

I wouldn’t mind at all, as long as she asked in advance and the child is well behaved.

Childcare is challenging to organise and very expensive, this seems like a reasonable solution although I do feel for the child who must be bored sat watching tv.

If you value the cleaner I wouldn’t mention it. If ultimately it’s something you can’t get past I think you have to prepare to find another cleaner.

Of course. And some of those are laughable. Like I said.

Gushing over this child is laughable. Just leave her be.

Wow!
The milk of human kindness is absolutely overwhelming on this thread!
And I assume most of you are parents as well?

I would expect my cleaner to ask first if this was ok, not to just bring her. And my answer would depend on how good a cleaner she was and if I wanted to keep her or not.

You realise how stupid that comment is right? People right here on mumsnet saying it would be fine 👋

She should have asked first. Bit surprised that the child is not "helping" with the cleaning as I've known that happen.

If it was all day every day I would say something but presumably it's a couple of hours, the child is not causing an issue and good cleaners are hard to find. I'd let it go.

Do all self employed people get holiday pay then?

At a time when we need more people working for the benefit of everyone I think things like this are going to become more common, it's ok saying people have to get childcare, but it's unaffordable for many and that's even if it's available, there's people on local FB constantly asking for child minders and nurseries with spaces available because the ones that are there are full.

And a great deal of people are very insistent that people should work, yet fail to see the barriers to that, and not just for parents, but also complain when the people they say should be working navigate the barriers the only way they can so they can work.

And as far as I can see the child isn't causing an issue and the service is still being delivered the same way, so it would be a case of OP not liking it. And that's fine, but it also has concequences.

@Ddakji ‘gushing’ wtf? Showing some kindness to a mother & child? Op speaks very highly of her and describes her as being kind etc
Can op not reciprocate this because she’s ‘staff’

YABU. You said the cleaner is fantastic and the child is well-behaved and quiet. Good cleaners are like gold dust.

If you have the opportunity to be kind and help someone out who is struggling when it's not impacting your life negatively in any way and it is absolutely no effort on your part why wouldn't you. YABU

Did they not ask first? I’d not be okay with anyone unknown just coming in to my home without prior agreement.
id be fine with this if they checked first though.

It sounds like the girl is well behaved and not causing any problems. However, I'm surprised the cleaner didn't ask if it was okay before doing it. And the OP is reasonable to not feel totally comfortable with it.
I've seen other posts about people wfh getting absolutely slammed for not using childcare, but this cleaner is okay to take her child to work? Like I said, I probably wouldn't have a problem with it, but there are some double standards going on here.