To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Think it's really bad form to not ask you.

For goodness sake, talk about overkill.

MN at its laughable best.

I really would. I often have DC here for drinks and snacks, my house is the house when neighbours children forget their key after school.
My DM was the same. Most of the people at her funeral had a story about snacking in our home and how open mam was.
Not everyone becomes upset at a minor inconvenience.

For me it would depend on several things:

Did she ask?
Does your work involve things you wouldn't want a child around for?
How easy would it be to source another cleaner?

Yes it's unprofessional to bring her along and as with any other worker her childcare concerns aren't your problem, but what I'd do about it would hinge on the above

It wouldn’t bother me at all. A 10yr old who’s well behaved and not putting her mum off her work. Not a problem, especially if you value her. Coming with a young child that’s loud, running about and putting mum off then of course that is not ok.

I am £30 per day for holiday club and then whatever activity or outing they are doing which can be anything from £5 to £25. So if mum only has a few clients that day her whole wage could be taken with childcare.

I mean OP has made it quite clear what the issue is. Not everyone is the same and obviously she feels a little unsettled having an additional person in the house when the service she’s paying for is just for cleaner to be there doing her work. She’s obviously worried that while the child is behaving okay for now but what if at some point she got bored and went off into kitchen or somewhere and hurt herself while mom is cleaning. OP also doesn’t have experience of kids so she is not being unreasonable to ask about this. And the service is different as before she could happily get on with her work but now she feels concerned.

If she's a good cleaner I would say that it's ok in the school holidays as long as he/she is quiet and well behaved. Put yourself in her shoes, and in yours if you lose a good cleaner.

Back in the day when I had a cleaner she used to sometimes bring her well-behaved 5 year-old boy - my own boys who were a few years older would sometimes also be there, and he would play quietly with them, and sit and stroke the two cats.

As you have no children I'm assuming the cleaning lady comes maybe once or twice a week at most for a couple of hours? If you want to keep her you'll just have to accommodate this.

You don't HAVE to allow your cleaner to bring her child to work. However it sounds like the child is not doing anything that will harm her or your property, so if you are kind you won't make the mum quit work.

Right! Honestly some of these posts 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think if it really is an issue for the op and if she is unsettled with a child in her house she should say to her cleaner, instead of worrying and being unsettled, if the op is in England/Wales then she will have this worry until September she needs to say something to the cleaner.

Yes you’re paying for a service, but it sounds as if you’re still getting the same good service.

Your cleaner should have cleared it with you before the first time she brought her child, but presumably she can’t afford to pay for holiday childcare. It probably hasn’t occurred to her that it’s a problem for you.

Since the child is causing no disruption at all, I think you’re being rather unsympathetic and precious about it. The only thing I might be concerned about would be to make sure there are no obvious potential dangers to the child, e.g. a garden pond, though if the child just sits on the sofa the whole time that’s not really an issue.

It sounds like you want to keep your cleaner, so just go with the flow. You risk a new, childless, cleaner being less good or less reliable.

What's the problem? The child sits in one place and behaves well.

Surely having a cleaner moving around your home is far more intrusive/awkward than a quiet child sitting on the sofa. She sounds great and reliable. That can be hard to come by so I’d allow this. No need to buy snacks like PP’s have suggested

There are far worse ways for a child to spend their holidays. Her mother is a cleaner - I doubt she has spare money to take her daughter on holiday or outings for 6 weeks.

If she’s a good cleaner and the child sits quietly watching an iPad I’d let it go

Having been the cleaners DD that was dragged around from house to house, icsn assure you shes not having fun either. If shes sitting quietly and not causing chaos, id let it go.

Why would you think that ?

If she’s a good cleaner I’d just let it go, the kid is doing no harm and your cleaner is showing up and doing a good job. My mum was a single parent and used to take me to work sometimes in various jobs over the years, when she didn’t have a job we couldn’t always afford to eat and paying for holiday club would have been totally unaffordable. Schools go back in a few weeks and this will be forgotten about

This is how I met my childhood best friend. Her mum brought her round once a week in the holidays and we played together while she cleaned the house. After some time the parents organised what we now call ‘play dates’ and eventually we had sleep overs and a reciprocal minding arrangement was put in place for future holiday. I’m so glad we doent have mumsnet in the 80s or the parents would have been put off this by the horrified responses!

This. If I’m meant to be at home when the cleaner arrives I disappear for a couple of hours. And presumably you’re still getting the service you’re paying for? She’s not not cleaning, is she?

Of course. What are you getting at?

I think the only thing that would niggle me is the fact it was just never mentioned, she just started bringing her along and didn’t once acknowledge it with you. That’s a bit bizzare.

But aside from that it wouldn’t bother me one bit, she’s well behaved, keeps herself to herself, there’s only four weeks left anyway.

I don’t think you should provide snacks however- that’s not your responsibility at all.

I also don’t find it weird that you’re at home whilst the cleaner is there- I do the same.

I've had a tiler bring his 12 year old son with him when he worked at my house. I was quite happy with that. He actually helped his dad out with carrying stuff, mixing grout etc (tiler said his son sometimes likes to do this because it earns him extra pocket money and also he's learning some skills).

Similar with a pebbledashing guy.

I also had a cleaning lady bring her kids with her a few times - they were younger and incredibly well behaved; sat very quietly and did some homework. Wouldn't even accept a drink and a biscuit because they had brought their own water bottles and snacks.

The difference is that all these people ASKED before they brought their kids and I could have said no. I think this is a crucial point. You don't just bring extra people to someone else's house without asking first. You wouldn't just turn up with your kids to an office job without asking, and I think it's possibly even less acceptable when it's somebody's home you're working in.

If I was OP then I would suck it up because that seems like the most practical response. But I wouldn't be happy either, because she should have asked first.

THIS!