To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Don’t be ridiculous. Most people who have a cleaner and WFH are present when the cleaner cleans. It’s easy enough just to move to a different room when the cleaner needs access to the room that you work in.

"I don’t want to be unsympathetic, but...."

@Informercera
I do hope you still have a cleaner!!

A quiet child making no noise in a room away from your office? You do seem pretty intolerant...

You're facilitating your cleaner actually being able to work! Yes I understand it's a service BUT often childcare even if paid for is difficult to come by...

So you're literally going to ignore everyone's advice.
Good luck finding a new cleaner OP, because it won't be long until yours leaves!

It equates to a full time equivalent salary of just over 40k, it's not a pittance. Plenty of people earn less than that AND pay for childcare.

You are making the erroneous assumption that (a ) a cleaner always earns 20 pounds an hour without knowing that. Many areas pay a lot less and some pay more. (b) she works a full 40 hour week. which is difficult. This cleaner works just 2 hours in OPs house, so probably goes some where else afterwards. Assuming she doesnt have a magic carpet , there is a lot of time lost and unpaid travelling between jobs and so it is not possible to clean a solid morning or afternoon. You forget most people only want cleaners during the mornings, as well
Your figures are off anyway. 40 hours at 20 the hour works out at 32,000 BEFORE tax and insurance. If the cleaner has children ( which this one does) it is unlikely she is able to work a 8 hour day.
(C) Households with low incomes rarely have cleaners

After reading OPs update, I am afraid that she sounds a bit precious and is willing to risk losing her cleaners because of a lot of "shoulds" "she should have asked first" "she should have arranged childcare" etc etc. and other sanctimoneous advice .

The reality is that it didnt happen and she still has a good reliable cleaner with a child who doesnt disturb her mother's work during the school holidays.

It's only for a few weeks until the kids go back to school. I suggests that she forgets about having a "tactful " conversation " as she is obviously going to ask her not to bring her child, which probably wont be an option for her cleaner. Just thank her lucky stars that her cleaner didnt dump her in the summer because she didnt have childcare and has a well behaved kid.

My figures are off too and I cant edit, but the rest of the comment stands 😂

"I dont want to be unsympathetic.....but the reality is that I am totally unsympathetic"😂

For heavens sake...it's TWO HOURS not a 40 hour week. And if she keeps bringing her non problematic child it is clear that she has no alternative. Noone brings their kids to work for fun.

Last summer holidays?
Half terms?
Teacher training days?

I know.

"I am not bothered, but a child sitting silently in the corner minding her own business is totally changing the vibe in my house now".

Schools often offer holiday clubs over half terms and summer holidays. Most school clubs however dont run them over whole 6 weeks of summer holidays, most around us have the last two weeks of holidays off, so no childcare for the last two weeks.

I was responding directly to the person I quoted. I used an online calculator to with out the annual equivalent salary, and it's correct based on a 40-hour week. I wasn't saying the cleaner necessarily earns that much if she works less hours, but that's the equivalent salary for that hourly rate.

That doesn't explain where the girl was over the summer holidays last year which was my original point. If the cleaner can't afford childcare, why is it only suddenly an issue now when OP says she started over a year ago?

I'm so glad someone said this.

£20 P/H self employed cleaning is actually more in line with £13-14 P/H with consideration for Fuel, Tax, Products & NI, Insurance Etc etc etc.

The comment you replied to was laughable.

No it doesnt explain what happened last year, which is hardly relevant because it's this year now and it's this year she is bringing her 10 year old. People's situations change you know.

If OP was interested she would have asked her herself. She has been working for her for a year but OP seems to know nothing about her. I find that strange when someone is working in your private home. I personally like to know who is working in my home and deals with my personal space. She's a person not a cleaning machine.

My impression is that she has come here to válidate a proposal to her cleaner not to bring her child and a few of you have repeatedly argued at length how wrong the cleaner is for bringing her child (gasp) without asking and continúes to do so. You are like dogs with a bone.

The rest of the posters are saying that she should let it go - for many reasons

OP has, of course, said nothing to her face. She came to Reddit instead. . In
her update she makes clear that she "doesnt want to be unreasonable" but proposes to ask her not to bring her child.which may be unreasonable for her cleaner if she has no option.

Fine, it's her choice but she has to be prepared for her cleaner to vote with her feet and go to one of the many households who have no problem with a good cleaner bringing a quiet kid who doesnt intefere with her work during two hours. She cant have it both ways .

No it doesnt explain what happened last year, which is hardly relevant because it's this year now and it's this year she is bringing her 10 year old. People's situations change you know.

If OP was interested she would have asked her herself. She has been working for her for a year but OP seems to know nothing about her. I find that strange when someone is working in your private home. I personally like to know who is working in my home and deals with my personal space. She's a person not a cleaning machine.

My impression is that she has come here to válidate a proposal to her cleaner not to bring her child and a few of you have repeatedly argued at length how wrong the cleaner is for bringing her child (gasp) without asking and continúes to do so. You are like dogs with a bone.

The rest of the posters are saying that she should let it go - for many reasons

OP has, of course, said nothing to her face. She came to Reddit instead. . In
her update she makes clear that she "doesnt want to be unreasonable" but proposes to ask her not to bring her child.which may be unreasonable for her cleaner if she has no option.

Fine, it's her choice but she has to be prepared for her cleaner to vote with her feet and go to one of the many households who have no problem with a good cleaner bringing a quiet kid who doesnt intefere with her work during two hours. She cant have it both ways .

Of course it's relevant if people are claiming that she can't afford childcare. No one actually knows that because no one knows her situation.

Situations do change and that is when you usually say something instead of just turning up with a child.

You've also repeatedly argued at length. So what? It's AIBU and that's usually what happens.