To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

Yes?

Unless you want to give her holiday pay so she can take time off with her child, YABU

If the child was being well behaved and it was for the same length of time, what’s the difference or issue?

Also, most people in those professions tend to be men and we already know that in most cases, women are the default parent - single or not - so the likelihood of that happening is pretty low.

I would let this go and not get bothered. Child doesn't make noise or mess, doesn't bother you. How often does the cleaner come in any case and once school starts, she will be back in school. I really think it's a none issue and nothing to get wound up about.

That said, she really should have told you she'd need to bring her daughter.
But it's not like they're there all day.

It wouldn't be up to the Op to give the cleaner holiday pay she's not her employeer ,the cleaner is self employed.

It would probably invalidate her insurance and it’s rude that she didn’t ask your permission first.

Maybe she can't find anyone i can imagine its hard to find childcare in the holidays for 10 year olds, perhaps the cleaner works around school hours, of course the op is allowed to object and ask her not to bring her if she finds it unprofessional, but if she is only there 2 hours a week say it isn't the same a 9-5 and should let it slide.

No you wouldn't
I can just see the thread now it would be full of outraged posters
But becsuse its a women who posters have decided, she must be a single mother and poorly paid it's OK.

I do think it is a bit cheeky to start bringing her child without asking, and do think it's slightly unprofessional full stop.

BUT in your instance, because you're very happy with your cleaner and the child is causing no bother, I would just let it go. I don't think it's to your benefit to rock the boat.

Maybe your son would prefer to be at home on the sofa rather than packed off to holiday clubs, so I wouldn't feel too sorry for your cleaner's son.

I think she should’ve asked. But as it’s a well behaved 10 year old who just sits down, I’d let it go. I assume she has no other option and it’s hard to find a reliable cleaner

You know, I’d let this go. You have no idea what pressures this woman is under. If she does a good job, the child behaves, what is the problem?

Years ago I once had to bring my child to work. Totally unplanned. I asked and they accepted it. They didn’t quiz me or make me feel bad about it. I had been a good colleague for years. They were kind.

I still am that colleague, and I was grateful.

I think you’re overthinking this hugely. Just let it be.

My sister and I used to sometimes play in my mum’s waiting room in the clinic she worked in. Just quietly playing with the kids toy box or doing some colouring in. So this is nothing new.

You have the cleaner in your house. Why does it matter that a quiet child is there too?

I use two screens and am not wasting part of my working day schlepping to a cafe and back. I am in the spare room with the door shut so not getting under her feet except for snacks/using the loo. Luckily she is perfectly capable of interacting with other human beings while cleaning the house.

Yabu if you want your cleaner to carry on during the school holidays. You've said the child's no bother Why sour relations?

Wouldn’t bother me

You know it's short-term. She's well behaved.
Just be an understanding person about it..

I've had people in more than one of those professions bring a kid with them. Usually the kid stayed in the van but not always.

I wouldn't love it (particularly the not-asking bit) but would put up with it as I understand that childcare can be a big expense.

It’s not great for the kid but needs must I suppose. I definitely wouldn’t say anything if I was you.

Think about what it's costing you to help this woman. I'd say very, very little from what you've said. The standard of cleaning hasn't dropped, the child isn't disruptive in any way, she's isn't costing you anything, she isn't in the space you're using, you're not required to talk to or interact with her in any way.

Then think about what sort of person you want to be. Do you want to be someone who can't help someone out even when it costs them very, very little? Or do you want to be someone who can offer a helping hand, some kindness on occasion? Make your decision from there.

Hah! You should see the 12 year old playing with a mini-digger thread.

I meant to say you are in no way responsible for this kid if something happens that's on her mum,but it doesn't sound like she is running around the house or anything so it will be fine.

I've had to take my son and 2 times my daughter as well to cleaning jobs and trust me it was because I had no choice and would rather have not. Id leave it if she is well behaved