To think my cleaner shouldn’t bring her own child to work?

[Informercera]

I’m really torn on this and would love some outside perspective.

We’ve had the same cleaner for just over a year and she’s been fantastic, reliable, thorough, really kind and trustworthy. We’ve always got on well and I genuinely like her. But over the past few weeks, since the summer holidays started, she’s been bringing her 10 year old daughter with her when she comes to clean.

Her daughter isn’t badly behaved at all. She just sits quietly on the sofa in our living room watching things on an iPad. Sometimes I hear little giggles or the sound of whatever she’s watching, but she’s not running around or causing chaos or anything like that.

Still, I’m finding it awkward. I work from home and I’m usually upstairs on Zoom calls or writing reports, and it just feels a bit strange knowing there’s a child downstairs while her mum is hoovering or mopping the floors. I don’t have children myself and I suppose I’m not used to having someone else’s in my personal space. It changes the dynamic a bit and makes it feel less like a professional service. I also can’t help worrying about the what ifs - what if something broke or she hurt herself? Would I be responsible?

I completely understand that school holidays are a nightmare for working parents and childcare is expensive. I don’t want to be unsympathetic. I haven’t said anything to her yet because I don’t want to come across as precious or unkind. But equally I’m paying for a service and this isn’t what I signed up for.

AIBU to feel uncomfortable about this and consider raising it gently with her? Or should I just let it go for a few more weeks until the holidays are over? I want to be fair but I also feel a bit blindsided. Would love to know what others think.

No you wouldn't. No-one would.

I appear to be in the minority here, but I think this is hugely unprofessional, and I wouldn't like it - or stand for it. As has been said, that poor child, having to sit there while her mother cleans! It's not on, and I would be replacing this cleaner.

'Oh well childcare is soooo expensive so it's OK' is a load of old tosh. What if she worked in a bank, or a factory, or a shop, or in a normal office? You can't take your children to work with you FFS! And as YOU are working as well @Informercera this is exceptionally unnacceptable and wrong.

As has been said, she will be getting enough money for doing her job, she can find childcare - like everyone else has to!

Look for a new cleaner.

The hell with that. It's my house and if I want to be in it, I will be in it and the cleaner will need to work around me.

OP did the cleaner ask you if she could bring her child? If not, she is very rude.

If the kid was running around and making a mess or asking you for snacks every 5s and going through your cupboards then yeah it would be weird. But if she’s just sitting quietly and is no bother, personally I really wouldn’t mind for all the reasons from other posters.

Yabu. Kids being quiet and she's still coming and cleaning your house.

This!
In your shoes I’d be showing some kindness, ask what drinks & snacks she might like?
You describe your cleaner as being kind etc so why not show the same qualities?

I'm guessing what you’re paying wouldn’t cover childcare?

It wouldn’t bother me - the child is just sitting there not being a pain

I don't give a shiny shite if said child is sitting still the entire time like a statue, and is as quiet as a mouse. I don't want her there in my house. I just want the cleaner there, who I am paying to clean my fecking house!

What a daft post. 🙄

My mum used to take me to her cleaning job when I was off in the school holidays. It was the only time their family dog got a walk.

Of course its fair to make comparisons about pay. The hourly rate of a plumber or electrician (typically male professions) is significantly more than that of a cleaner or carer (typically female professions). Its perfectly reasonable to think they are more able to afford childcare in addition to realising that its less likely to be their concern in the first place.

I hope your cleaner dumps you.
Good cleaners have a list of potential customers.

In that case I’m going to take my child to the office with me next week, and if my boss says anything or doesn’t provide him with snacks I’m going to complain that they’re being unkind, see where that gets me 😂

OP, it’s unprofessional and rude that they didn’t ask you first, I wouldn’t want another person in my house while I was working, the cleaner should pay for childcare like everyone else, it’s patronising to assume that just because she’s a cleaner she needs some sort of special treatment as she must be so poorly paid.

It is unfortunate that she did not ask you first, but it does sound as though her DD is causing no problems and I would go with the flow on the grounds that this would be kind and humane.

Don't be utterly ridiculous 🙄

Cut her some slack. The child is quiet and well
behaved. You’re being very harsh about someone who is doing a good job and whose child is causing you no issues.

If the circumstances were the same, of course.

The world would be a much better place if we started from a point of tolerance/kindness/being helpful and went from there rather than starting from the point of everything being a problem/inconvenience/liberty.

Errrm, the cleaner is getting the perk of a free place to bring her child whilst she works.

The least she can do is bring her own snacks.

The cleaner is cleaning the house?

The op is working. She doesn't need to be "showing some kindness" to a random child in her house.

I genuinely wouldn't mind as long as it wasn't an all day job, 2 or 3 hours no problem, I'd offer them a snack.
The cleaner is not going to be there 8 hours.

But according to all the posters she's a penniless single mum who can't afford a childminder if she can afford to dump the Op and has a list if potential clients then clearly she can charge what she wants and afford childcare?

You really wouldn't.

I’d probably let it go although might have been a bit miffed not to have been asked first - my cleaner asked if she could bring her DSS if necessary this summer for similar reasons and I agreed but also said I’d happily be flexible on days/times she came if that helped.

Ok… 🤣🤣🤣🤣