WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi,
This happened earlier today and I've been wondering about whether I was in the wrong or not.

I was walking earlier with my dog (she's s whippet and very lazy, usually either trots along beside me or sniffs things, not boisterous or anything). We were walking in a big local green space where there's always plenty of off lead dogs.

I was on a quiet, wide path in a wooded area. I came near some little girls who were with their mum. When I was about 4-5 metres away I could see one of the girls became very nervous and her mum advised her to stand back from the path and stay calm. My dog wasn't approaching her but was going to walk near her to get by so I called her back (she came immediately, we've trained recall extensively) and put her on the lead. As I was walking past I put as much space between us as possible but said to the little girl "don't worry, she's friendly " just to reassure her. Thd mum snapped at me "just because she's friendly, doesn't mean my daughter wants to say hello to her".

Tbh I was a bit pissed off, although I didn't say anything. If my dog had been greeting someone who didn't want to interact then that would have been a fair thing to say, but she was being really good.Then again, the girl was obviously scared and maybe has had bad experiences in he past?

Dog owner here. You did the right thing by reclaiming but the comment was too much. It’s not about your dog being friendly, the girl was clearly scared of any dog, friendly or no.

Saying your dog is friendly is just annoying. Personally I don't think dogs should be allowed as pets (the piss, everywhere!) and I don't care if your dog is a part time Samaritans volunteer I hate it.

I make sure she never approaches anyone who isn't actively trying to interact with her.

No one you see walking around knows that. They don’t want your dog to have a chance to interact with them which means keeping it on a lead!

A lot of people are really frightened of dogs, kids especially because some are so large in comparison. And, whilst I'm sure your dog is really well trained and all that, lots of people (including one of my family members ugh...) say their dog is friendly then it proceeds to knock you on the floor, or bite, etc

we lost our PR terrier during the pandemic. She was incredibly wary of people she didn’t know and we trained her to stand up against my knee as people passed. It was alarming how many people allowed their kiddies to approach her, even though it was very obvious that their advances were not welcome.

You sound like a responsible dog owner, but “they’re very friendly” is exactly what the man said to my little girl when his ‘very friendly’ dog knocked her to the ground, and she was two and it hadn’t been given any encouragement. She’s been frightened of dogs since. So I get where the mum is coming from, because you hear it all the time when dogs approach your child, or try to snap their snack out of their hand - “oh they’re very friendly”. Honestly as a mother, it’s grating.

Beauty spots aren’t for dogs, they’re for people to enjoy. Good you had your dog on a lead, keep it away from small children if it tends to jump up though. Not really fair is it.

It’s one of those lines all dog owners trot out regardless of the behaviour of their dog.

I’ve had dogs jumping up at my kids and helping themselves to our picnic before and the owners just shout ‘oh they’re friendly’ without giving a shit. I didn’t ask how friendly they were.

You did nothing wrong but the mum's annoyed reaction was probably from past experience of dog owners saying "don't worry, he's friendly" as a substitute for actually training/recalling their dog.

(Not directed at you OP, but when i hear thiscfrom dog owners I always think, well I should flipping well hope the dog is friendly, since if it isn't friendly then why the duck is it being allowed near my child off the lead and unmuzzled?)

Thing is, my daughter has a phobic type response to dogs. She’s better now but if she’s not paying attention and looks up and comes face to face with a dog she will freak out and scream and try to run away. It amuses me somewhat when this is happening and the owner says ‘don’t worry, he’s friendly!’ Or ‘he won’t hurt you!’ As if she is going to stop her panic and just say ‘oh great ok’ and carry on. It’s just pointless information, it doesn’t matter how friendly the dog is, if she’s terrified she’s terrified.

If you had your dog on lead under control and not barking, you did nothing wrong, but the ‘it’s friendly’ line is rarely useful when a child is clearly scared.

The ‘Friendly’ phrase is SUCH a cliche. It means ‘piss poorly behaved’. Don’t say it. If you want to respect other members of the public, put your dog on a lead in all public places.

Yes, this too.
I do love it when a child asks to pet my dog. She wont approach strangers, but she likes the fuss when someone wants to say hi.
It seems smaller breeds attract attention from kids. I know someone with a chihuahua who hates people. It is the devil incarnate. Yet its owner has had parents have a go at her for not letting their child "pet the puppy".

Yes plus if you hate dogs (hate those urine machines so much) "friendly" is not a good thing.

Standoffish is preferable thx.

Dog owners get so offended if people don't want to be around their dogs. It's not personal chill out

She (not it) doesn't jump up, I'm not sure what part of my post made you think that?

As for beauty spots not being for dogs, what makes you think that? This is a really common dog walking spot which is also frequented by families. There's a huge adventure play park and cafe near thd entrance which dogs are not allowed in (and I've never seen that rule broken) and then loads of wooded areas and fields where dogs are walked. I live in a city and it's my dogs favourite walking place as she can be off lead (when appropriate). I'm not sure why this is such an issue.

Dogs are an it. Soz.

No, beauty spots are for everyone. If a spot specifies no dogs, or dogs on leads, then someone ignoring that is an entitled arsehole. But someone taking their dog to a place they are allowed is doing nothing wrong.

Dogs are not inanimate objects. They have a sex.

I understand now that friendly wasn't the right word to use. I was trying to reassure her that my dog is non aggressive.

She's actually uninterested in people and won't even look at people when she walks past, even when they're trying to pet her

But nobody except your vet gives a toss what it is.

In similar circumstances, I say “Don’t worry-she’s on a lead and I’ll keep her away.” It should be about the scared child, not me.

I wasn't trying to make it about me! I was genuinely trying to reassure the child, I do accept now though that I used a word that wasn't right

I think it's better just to recognise that people who hate dogs HATE dogs. I don't want them in my arena, anywhere. They make my immediate environment disgusting (I live in a city, there are too many). So move along and keep a distance.

I get the impression you hate dogs.

Do you have anything to contribute to this thread apart from vitriol?

I wasn't at all offended, I recalled her, put her on the lead and walked by with as much space as possible. I'm not sure what makes it seem I was offended? I totally understand that not everyone likes dogs, fair enough!