WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

[Allelbowsandtoes]

Hi,
This happened earlier today and I've been wondering about whether I was in the wrong or not.

I was walking earlier with my dog (she's s whippet and very lazy, usually either trots along beside me or sniffs things, not boisterous or anything). We were walking in a big local green space where there's always plenty of off lead dogs.

I was on a quiet, wide path in a wooded area. I came near some little girls who were with their mum. When I was about 4-5 metres away I could see one of the girls became very nervous and her mum advised her to stand back from the path and stay calm. My dog wasn't approaching her but was going to walk near her to get by so I called her back (she came immediately, we've trained recall extensively) and put her on the lead. As I was walking past I put as much space between us as possible but said to the little girl "don't worry, she's friendly " just to reassure her. Thd mum snapped at me "just because she's friendly, doesn't mean my daughter wants to say hello to her".

Tbh I was a bit pissed off, although I didn't say anything. If my dog had been greeting someone who didn't want to interact then that would have been a fair thing to say, but she was being really good.Then again, the girl was obviously scared and maybe has had bad experiences in he past?

How did I know BEFORE she sat down that I would have the dogs tail wagging against me? I’m not a mind reader either.
Also I’ve never at any point said it’s unreasonable to have dogs in public spaces, just that it’s unreasonable for owners to allow dogs to go up to people and invade their personal space.

But you've already said you don't like dogs even walking on the high street or in a cafe where they're no where near you so it wasn't gonna be okay with you whether the dogs tail accidentally touched you or not. You know you don't like being anywhere near dogs so get up and stand or whatever or learn to cope with the inevitable annoyances of public transport and get on with your day. You'll have less screaming matches. A dog being near you and accidentally and unconsciously touching you is not "invading your personal space", you're assigning a really weird agenda to this.

No you don’t. The dog owner has to ensure their dog doesn’t encroach on the personal space of people who have no disuse to be anywhere near dogs. This is just like saying we have to let transwomen into women’s spaces. No. People have a right not to have YOUR lifestyle choice forced on them - for whatever reason. If you hadn’t have decided to get a dog, that dog wouldn’t exist. It either would still be in a home, have been put down or never bred in the first place. Your decision to get a dog. If someone doesn’t want your dog wagging their tail against their leg or touching them for whatever reason, they have every right to tell you to get it away from them.

Ha, clearly you don’t regularly commute on trains with very little space - moving your legs is pretty much impossible at the best of times, let alone when the limited floor space is taken up by a dog.

Also screaming match? No, I remained calm at all times.

People aren’t likely to bite you are they? Dogs often do.

Tell? Or ask politely?

If the former, the owners have every right to tell you to shove it because they and their dog are allowed there too.

Deal with it.

If you won’t assign the basics of politeness and decency to the conversation you have no right to expect it back.

They’re allowed on the train, yes. Why do they have the right to touch a person who doesn’t want to be touched?

Under control dogs calmly sitting and wagging their tail don't, no.
Again, if you're so afraid of being randomly bitten by a dog, stay away from them

Then where was she meant to put the dog?

The table?

or the luggage rack?

Well if there was enough room for her to move a whole dog, there was room to shift your leg slightly over, no?

Because the person didn’t use their words when they had a chance to take control of the situation or take responsibility for their issue and move themselves.

How on earth am I likely to know? It’s like saying genuine transwomen aren’t porn-riddled AGPs so we should let all men who say they are transwomen into women’s spaces. How are we supposed to know that we are safe, other than obviously the owner saying that the dog is ‘friendly’.

If you hadn’t have decided to get a dog, that dog wouldn’t exist. It either would still be in a home, have been put down or never bred in the first place

You sound really bitter. Trust me the majority of society don't want people like you that gleefully fantasize about kicking an innocent animal in public with the rest of us because you're unwilling to deal with whatever deep-seated anger you have that you want to take out on an oblivious innocent being, yet we have to put up with you and unfortunately probably have to sit near you at times. You don't have an invisible barrier around you that you're entitled to maintain on a busy train. You suck it up or you move.

I think given you want to kick random dogs that haven't even approached you, you're definitely the violent one we should be worried about. We think you look like a sane person and we can't tell how unhinged you are.
But with the "how am I supposed to know?" Ummm pretty basic dog knowledge? If a dog is sitting or standing under control calmly, unless you approach it there is literally 0% chance it's going to randomly bite you especially as you should be no where near it given you're urges to hurt animals.

You keep using touch like an intentional touch. A dog pawing, sniffing or climbing up you is touching you in a way you're entitled to speak up about. Anyone on public transport unintentionally against you in a crowded public space is not"touching you" anymore than you're "touching them", and you don't have a right to personal space anymore than anyone else on that train to start throwing orders around of who should move.

I’d only kick a dog if it was attacking me or likely to attack me. What would you do? Wait until it has taken a chunk out of you? Really?

How many times?! I took responsibility by asking them to move the dog away from me enough that I couldn’t feel its tail wagging against me. There was no room to move anywhere. At that point the responsibility lies with the owner to move the dog/turn it around/whatever is necessary. Why is the responsibility not on the dog owner?
Why does the owner’s right to have their dog on a train trump another person’s right not to be touched when they don’t want to be?

Really? Yet you so gleefully post about kicking dogs who are just running past you and you say yourself you have no read on a dog being able to bite you or not given you can't identify a calm sitting dog with it's tail wagging happily. I don't exactly trust your assessment of a dog "about to attack" if you can't tell when they're absolutely not about to.
Also given you're so paranoid about a random dog attack, it would do you good with your phobia to learn some actual tips for dealing with dogs or because a kick in response to an (unlikely) attack isn't the smartest idea. But as I said before, I hope if you ever do this karma (or the dog) catches you swiftly.

If there was no room for you to tilt your leg away there was no room to move the dog. Is your leg bigger than a dog? People and their bags and all sorts are going to touch you on busy public transport. Get a grip or don't take it, but don't make it worse for everyone else just trying to commute on a busy train.

Why would a child trust an unknown adult to tell the truth?

They are trained not to.

Think "here is a nice sweet for you". Stranger danger!

Saying anything to the child is not appropriate.

Speak to the adult with them if you have to. Best to be quiet.

sigh and eye roll

You didn’t take responsibility by not saying anything at the point of her trying to sit there when she could then have found somewhere else.

You have recognised that you couldn’t move your leg. So you must be intelligent enough to realise she couldn’t move her dog under the same circumstances.

So you were unreasonable because you left saying anything until it was a hell of a lot harder to rectify the situation.

If you won’t speak up for your right not to be touched when it mattered, don’t bitch and whine afterwards. 🤷‍♀️

Everyone accepts that when you’re on a packed tube, train, bus etc you might have to deal with people or their bags touching you. That’s when it’s either brief or still (eg someone’s arm that pressed against you for the entire journey) but when it’s repeated movement akin to someone continuously patting you, that’s unpleasant and entirely different.

“If you won’t speak up for your right not to be touched when it mattered, don’t bitch and whine afterwards.”
Do you have reading comprehension problems? I spoke up at the time that the problem occurred.
And whilst I can only move my leg so far because it’s attached to the rest of my body that’s sat on a chair, she had other options for moving her dog, eg into the aisle slightly which she eventually did after much protest.

Well on a moving train I've often had the people next to me repeatedly bumping against me with the movement. Whether it's still or moving is a sensory issue of yours, one which it sounds like you had quite an overreaction to. You'd do better to develop some self awareness of what you can tolerate and manage yourself in situations accordingly rather than expecting people around you to do everything. The fact you think it was better for the dog to be in the aisle (in the way of everyone who needs to walk through) just so it wasn't touching you, shows you're the entitled one.