Page 15 | WIBU to reassure this child that my dog is friendly

Allelbowsandtoes · 2025-08-02T19:08:21+00:00

Hi, This happened earlier today and I've been wondering about whether I was in the wrong or not. I was walking earlier with my dog (she's s whippet and very lazy, usually either trots along beside me or sniffs things, not boisterous or anything). We were walking in a big local green space where there's always plenty of off lead dogs. I was on a quiet, wide path in a wooded area. I came near some little girls who were with their mum. When I was about 4-5 metres away I could see one of the girls became very nervous and her mum advised her to stand back from the path and stay calm. My dog wasn't approaching her but was going to walk near her to get by so I called her back (she came immediately, we've trained recall extensively) and put her on the lead. As I was walking past I put as much space between us as possible but said to the little girl "don't worry, she's friendly " just to reassure her. Thd mum snapped at me "just because she's friendly, doesn't mean my daughter wants to say hello to her". Tbh I was a bit pissed off, although I didn't say anything. If my dog had been greeting someone who didn't want to interact then that would have been a fair thing to say, but she was being really good.Then again, the girl was obviously scared and maybe has had bad experiences in he past?

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 11:40

Astrabees · 04/08/2025 11:37

Well, as I discovered last week a lot of people are very interested in my dog. The little malnourished flea ridden scrap of a puppy that went into rescue last year and I was fortunate enough to rehome has turned into a real beauty, like a tiny curly coated teddy with a huge fluffy tail. On holiday last week he was constantly photographed and admired but lots of children would wander over and try to pick him up, make silly noises or crowd around him, making him quite frightened. This happened when we were queuing to get into places and on a boat trip. Children need to be trained to be kind to dogs too!

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I’m sure your dog has many admirers. I’m also sure there are many people like me who have no interest whatsoever in your dog, no matter how tragic its backstory.

exasperatedflatmate · 04/08/2025 11:45

@NoSoapJustUseShowerGel you flatter yourself. My dog has zero interest in you. He only has eyes for my pocket which is full of treats 😁

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 11:46

exasperatedflatmate · 04/08/2025 11:45

@NoSoapJustUseShowerGel you flatter yourself. My dog has zero interest in you. He only has eyes for my pocket which is full of treats 😁

Flatter myself how? Where did I say your dog would be interested in me?

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 12:09

Sunflowersurprise · 04/08/2025 02:43

If a dog is going to run up to a member of the public in any public place it shouldn’t be there, obviously! It’s your dog. It’s not theirs. They have a right to walk in whatever public park they like and be totally unaffected by YOUR decision to get a dog!

it’s unbelievable the entitlement of dog walkers. My running club runs in a public park and the amount of people that think it’s acceptable for their dogs to run around us is staggering. Piss off with your dog or it will get a swift kick to the ribs.

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In my experience no one acts more entitled than people who want to run in a group around a public park. Unless you regularly stop and move aside to let walkers, children and dogs by you're just as bad as the dogs you're complaining about - worse actually because you sound rather gleeful about animal cruelty (which is illegal btw) and makes you sound quite psychopathic that you want to hurt an animal which has no actual malice or intent towards you for anything . None of us want to see or hear you huffing and puffing past us, or be offended by the sight of you in your sports gear because of your decision to start running, but we accept we are in a public place and we can't choose what's around us. I hope if you ever decide to kick a dog that is harmlessly running past you, that karma catches up to you swiftly

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 12:13

YourArtfulPlayer · 04/08/2025 09:42

You're absolutely entitled to personal boundaries, no one’s saying otherwise. If you don’t want a dog touching you, that’s valid. But saying every single dog interaction is a violation, no matter how minor, isn’t about boundaries anymore.

Dogs are part of public life. A brief brush, a sniff, or a nudge, while annoying, isn’t on the same level as unwanted human contact. It’s not assault, it’s a moment in shared space. If a dog jumps up or causes damage, that’s different and good owners should deal with it.

But treating all contact as unacceptable turns reasonable co-existence into hostility. Public spaces require a bit of tolerance for dogs, kids, cyclists, runners, skateboarders, the lot. That goes both ways and quite honestly, you sound quite uptight and stressed, so maybe learning to let go of what is, very minor interactions will help your health. Not to mention maybe letting go of the white trousers, they just scream Rod Stewart in the 80's era.

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“A brief brush, a sniff, or a nudge, while annoying, isn’t on the same level as unwanted human contact. ” this just shows how little you understand how some other people feel about dogs. Let me tell you with complete certainty that unwanted contact from a dog is more than just annoying, it’s unacceptable.

YourArtfulPlayer · 04/08/2025 12:19

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 12:13

“A brief brush, a sniff, or a nudge, while annoying, isn’t on the same level as unwanted human contact. ” this just shows how little you understand how some other people feel about dogs. Let me tell you with complete certainty that unwanted contact from a dog is more than just annoying, it’s unacceptable.

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You're allowed to feel uncomfortable around dogs. But if you knowingly go into public, dog-friendly spaces, you’re putting yourself in a situation where some contact might happen, even from well-managed dogs.

This comes down to personal responsibility. Just like I wouldn’t walk into a soft play center and complain about noisy kids, if you choose to be in areas where dogs are welcome, you need to accept that brief, minor contact might happen.

If a dog is under control and the owner is acting responsibly, getting angry at them isn't fair. It's not about the dog, it’s about your own boundaries and how you manage them. Simples.

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 12:24

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 10:37

“reasonably under control” is not good enough.
I don’t want your dog anywhere near me, and that includes coming up to sniff me. It’s invasion of my personal space.

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So give dogs a wide birth or as Mumsnet likes yo say "use your words" and tell a dog owner when you see a dog you ahead can they please recall their dog - they would be unreasonable to refuse when asked. You really are in a small minority of people who take any issue with a dog in public walking and sniffing. I assure you that no dog is that interested in you any more than they are with any other part of the environment, but what counts as "near you" can mean all kinds of things for people who are neurotic about dogs. Either communicate that you want a dog recalled or avoid it yourself. I can't understand grown adults finding this so difficult - what do you do with any other animals you encounter outside?

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 12:29

YourArtfulPlayer · 04/08/2025 12:19

You're allowed to feel uncomfortable around dogs. But if you knowingly go into public, dog-friendly spaces, you’re putting yourself in a situation where some contact might happen, even from well-managed dogs.

This comes down to personal responsibility. Just like I wouldn’t walk into a soft play center and complain about noisy kids, if you choose to be in areas where dogs are welcome, you need to accept that brief, minor contact might happen.

If a dog is under control and the owner is acting responsibly, getting angry at them isn't fair. It's not about the dog, it’s about your own boundaries and how you manage them. Simples.

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Agreed, if a dog is able to nudge or sniff you then you're obviously walking very close by. If people are happy to walk that close to a dog - an animal notorious for using it's nose when it passes everything - just don't walk within distance of it to sniff you? It's not that hard. Why do people think people are mind readers to how neurotic they are? People have a responsibility to not put themselves on situations that make them uncomfortable. I don't like big dogs around my elderly dog, so it's my responsibility to step aside when I see one coming. Not seethe that the big dog owner is entitled to walk around in the same place as me.

AragornsManlyStubble · 04/08/2025 12:29

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 12:24

So give dogs a wide birth or as Mumsnet likes yo say "use your words" and tell a dog owner when you see a dog you ahead can they please recall their dog - they would be unreasonable to refuse when asked. You really are in a small minority of people who take any issue with a dog in public walking and sniffing. I assure you that no dog is that interested in you any more than they are with any other part of the environment, but what counts as "near you" can mean all kinds of things for people who are neurotic about dogs. Either communicate that you want a dog recalled or avoid it yourself. I can't understand grown adults finding this so difficult - what do you do with any other animals you encounter outside?

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All those people running are running from squirrels.

exasperatedflatmate · 04/08/2025 12:45

@Sunflowersurprise a kick in the ribs? I show a great deal of patience with local runners when they edge me off the cliff path when I'm walking my dog because well, obviously a pack of runners have right of way (or they think they do). But if you're eying my dog up to kick him in the ribs I will stand my ground a bit firmer next time.

So, added to people carrying knives ( @MixedBananas - that was you I think) we have people happy to kick animals.

The violence expressed on here is weird.

RazzleDazzleEm · 04/08/2025 12:53

OP I'm sure it's been said but that's the old line we all trot out isn't it.

He's friendly. But it's still a dog and face height with a small child child who may trigger it

It means as much as the old nanny dog trope for Pitbull relatives of kimber.

Next time just put the dog on a lead and everyone will feel safe ( just for when you walk past (

exasperatedflatmate · 04/08/2025 12:55

RazzleDazzleEm · 04/08/2025 12:53

OP I'm sure it's been said but that's the old line we all trot out isn't it.

He's friendly. But it's still a dog and face height with a small child child who may trigger it

It means as much as the old nanny dog trope for Pitbull relatives of kimber.

Next time just put the dog on a lead and everyone will feel safe ( just for when you walk past (

OP did put her dog on the lead.

LizzieW1969 · 04/08/2025 13:02

MixedBananas · 03/08/2025 21:57

You were being nice but she has a point. I am also super cautious with dogs as we have had tiny mutts nearly attack my baby and toddler on several occasions and the owners play it off as nothing " oh just loves seeing kids". No if that dog comes anywhere near my kids it won't be breathing for much longer! Inhave had to get a small 4.5cm flip knife as I am so scared of these dogs hurting me and more importantly my small children. We came face to face with a brown XL bully and it was a narrow lane. I had that knife on my pocket clutching it so tight as the dog had already arched back into its hind legs and looked anxious and glittery. I was ready for the attack if it came. I can not take my children anywhere without thwir being 20million dogs! Evenn places that say NO DOGS. A national Try at says no dogs and is aolurrounded by farm land sheep and horses and dear and their are those taking their dogs.! Makes no sense. There are no safe spaces anymore.

That child is very valid for having that reaction, and mother to, to want to be aa far away as possible you don't know whats happens to her and the mother feels the anxiety to.

I would read the room, and keep the distance and walk by super quickly with dogs under a tight leash.

Carrying a knife carries a hefty penalty, very likely a prison sentence, if caught, from what I’ve heard. So does killing a dog. The violence on this thread is quite disturbing.

I’m not a dog owner (I’m a cat person) but gleefully talking about animal cruelty is very unpleasant. Yes, there are a lot of dogs out and about and I can understand it can be a bit much sometimes, if you don’t like dogs, but their owners are entitled to take them out for a walk.

Balloonhearts · 04/08/2025 13:07

BananaCaramel · 04/08/2025 07:47

But that’s the thing - you should be! The dog should always be the thing to be moved. People don’t want to be sniffed, people don’t want to be jumped up at, people don’t want the dog to touch them in any way. You are the person who as brought the dog out so you need to be the person to do the compromising - always and forever.

It really IS that simple. The dog doesn’t matter. There are no situations where having a dog or being a dog gets you put above people and the onus is on you as a dog owner to make sure that your animal does not interfere with anyone at all even if you think the way they are interfering is fine. Other people don’t. All you are doing is demonstrating the entitlement and arrogance of most dog owners

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Why?

We're not the only species on the planet. The world does not belong solely to humanity. Being the most common and arguably the more intelligent species does not make us more important.

BananaCaramel · 04/08/2025 13:30

Balloonhearts · 04/08/2025 13:07

Why?

We're not the only species on the planet. The world does not belong solely to humanity. Being the most common and arguably the more intelligent species does not make us more important.

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Ah but a dog is not a real animal is it? It’s a man made mutant

SJM1988 · 04/08/2025 13:36

As a parent of a child who would be nervous and stands back from the path even with the smallest dog, I think the mum was unreasonable in her reply. I simply reply 'Thank you' and speal to my child 'some dogs are friendly see'.
You are reassuring the child your dog is friendly and it wasn't like you were walking up close to her and asking if she wanted to give the dog a stroke. 9 times out of 10 the people who speak to us then let me stroke their dog (after asking) to reiterate that dogs are friendly.

RonObvious · 04/08/2025 13:39

Some of these responses are weird. If your dog had been jumping all over the child, and you had just said "Don't worry, she's friendly", then yes, you would have been in the wrong. Instead, you showed that your dog was under control, plus put her on the lead. I think what you did was fine, and maybe the mother had just had one too many bad experiences with her daughter and dogs.

Both of my kids went through terrible dog phobia stages, and had their fair share of bad experiences. However, I will always be grateful to the man who asked his dog to sit, and then asked my terrified son if he wanted to pet her. It made a huge difference to my son's impression of dogs, and although he's still nervous, he loves them now. So, I would add that just because a child is scared, doesn't mean that they don't want to say hello to your dog.

exasperatedflatmate · 04/08/2025 13:45

@RonObvious and @SJM1988 sensible parenting! And this very much was my approach before we had dogs. Build the children's confidence. Most children innately love animals. Mine used to hold their hands out almost begging to be allowed to stroke dogs, but were taught to ask the owners first. We have multiple pictures of them with their arms around ginormous hounds which weren't theirs. Owners, dogs and children, all happy.

Then we got our own and I hope we are sensitive owners as well as having a well trained dog.

The violence expressed by some on here is awful, and only serves to ramp up anxiety for children and animals alike.

Mounj25 · 04/08/2025 13:50

My friend is scared of dogs and gets visibly upset when one walks past her. It’s very annoying when dog owners can’t comprehend that people don’t like dogs.

LilacReader · 04/08/2025 14:16

Ihatelittlefriendsusan · 02/08/2025 20:10

Sorry, but as a dog owner myself I think you were unreasonable.

There are some idiots about who dont control their dogs and always use the excuse that their dog is friendly. You only need to read the thousands of threads on here to know that.

You minimised and dismissed the girls fear.

The mum reacted badly. But she has probably had lots of idiots tell her the same as their dog is jumping all over her child.

I could understand your point if OP hadn't put their dog on the lead but she did all the right things and was just being friendly to the Mum?

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 14:16

YourArtfulPlayer · 04/08/2025 12:19

You're allowed to feel uncomfortable around dogs. But if you knowingly go into public, dog-friendly spaces, you’re putting yourself in a situation where some contact might happen, even from well-managed dogs.

This comes down to personal responsibility. Just like I wouldn’t walk into a soft play center and complain about noisy kids, if you choose to be in areas where dogs are welcome, you need to accept that brief, minor contact might happen.

If a dog is under control and the owner is acting responsibly, getting angry at them isn't fair. It's not about the dog, it’s about your own boundaries and how you manage them. Simples.

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The difference is that whilst it’s easy to avoid soft play because that’s non-essential, it’s almost impossible to avoid dogs in the course of every day life. I get the train to work - sometimes there are dogs on there - should I not work just in case? I walk through town to do my shopping or go to the post office/pharmacy etc and there are always dogs - should I have to be a recluse and order everything online? So if they can’t be avoided then I have a right to be annoyed when their owners allow them to touch me in any way.

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 14:19

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 14:16

The difference is that whilst it’s easy to avoid soft play because that’s non-essential, it’s almost impossible to avoid dogs in the course of every day life. I get the train to work - sometimes there are dogs on there - should I not work just in case? I walk through town to do my shopping or go to the post office/pharmacy etc and there are always dogs - should I have to be a recluse and order everything online? So if they can’t be avoided then I have a right to be annoyed when their owners allow them to touch me in any way.

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On the train or in a cafe or pharmacy then dogs will absolutely be on lead. Just don't stand near them? How hard is that? If you're regularly being "touched" by dogs you're going near them and presumably smelling of something as they're definitely not picking up on your dog friendly energy.
If you genuinely are bothered by the fact that dogs just exist as you walk through town, you should probably talk to someone as that's an extreme reaction.

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 14:20

melonsandlemonsandpears · 04/08/2025 12:29

Agreed, if a dog is able to nudge or sniff you then you're obviously walking very close by. If people are happy to walk that close to a dog - an animal notorious for using it's nose when it passes everything - just don't walk within distance of it to sniff you? It's not that hard. Why do people think people are mind readers to how neurotic they are? People have a responsibility to not put themselves on situations that make them uncomfortable. I don't like big dogs around my elderly dog, so it's my responsibility to step aside when I see one coming. Not seethe that the big dog owner is entitled to walk around in the same place as me.

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”Agreed, if a dog is able to nudge or sniff you then you're obviously walking very close by”
well you might find this hard to believe but if I’m walking down the road and the dog approaches me, that’s not a case of me choosing to walk close by.

LilacReader · 04/08/2025 14:22

Fragmentedbrain · 02/08/2025 21:01

So you think it's unreasonable to be disgusted by creatures that piss and shit copiously in my environment? Ok. I still am.

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You are funny! You have definitely brightened up our day here in the office.

YourArtfulPlayer · 04/08/2025 14:23

NoSoapJustUseShowerGel · 04/08/2025 14:16

The difference is that whilst it’s easy to avoid soft play because that’s non-essential, it’s almost impossible to avoid dogs in the course of every day life. I get the train to work - sometimes there are dogs on there - should I not work just in case? I walk through town to do my shopping or go to the post office/pharmacy etc and there are always dogs - should I have to be a recluse and order everything online? So if they can’t be avoided then I have a right to be annoyed when their owners allow them to touch me in any way.

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Yes, clearly the only two options are: 1) ban all dogs from public life, or 2) you become a hermit and never leave the house. No middle ground at all 🙄

Most people are just asking for mutual respect, not forcing you to pet their dog or share a train seat with it. If a dog is under control and its owner is doing the right thing, maybe the issue isn’t the dog. Maybe it’s how much you want the world to cater to your personal dislikes.

Seriously though, turning everyday life into a crisis because a dog exists nearby and may (OMG) brush past you in a non-threatening way. That’s a bit dramatic and makes you sound like a prat.