Was this comment by the waiter a bit off?

[doriiii]

This is something that happened a couple of weeks ago but not sure if I'm being overly sensitive.

Went to meet a few friends for some food in a nice pub. I arrived a bit later due to work hours. When I arrived I asked the waiter where they were sat and he walked me over. I asked if they accepted blue light cards, and he said 'only if you say pretty please'.

It really grossed me out, and I knew he wouldn't have said it to my male friends.

I didn't say anything but did kind of laugh when I said 'right ok'.

AIBU to think it's just a bit of a gross comment?

Indeed.

Sounds like he was just trying to flirt. Granted it was really shit flirting, but it does just sound like he was trying to be flirty and funny.

I think that's different from taking umbrage and starting the thread.

What a bizarre comment - that's shutting down from the outset.

No its not. The op posted in AIBU.

It would be bizarre if we all just agreed or said "well that's up to you."

I mean how do you actually envisage AIBU working?

I wouldn’t say pretty please to an adult

I sure as would say it to a child boy or girl

Isn't that the crux of the issue then? It's an expression which is completely acceptable to use to a child- not an adult woman.

ageist?

You're making no sense. You're objecting to the OP "taking umbrage" and even starting the thread. By your argument there would be nothing to discuss.

Oh wow- what a gotcha! Yes of course everyone interacts with 5 year olds in the exactly the same way as they interact with adults.

He sounds like he was doing a really bad job of flirting

There is something to discuss, because its been posted.

Do you mean I wouldn't have started this particular thread? No, I wouldn't have.

I don't think it's great but not something I'd have given headspace to, honestly. Just tell him Sorry but you're not that pretty! Pay and move on.

"Tragic" 🙄

When Ricky Gervais said 'Just because you are offended, it doesn't mean you are right', he was spot on.
Some people want to be offended, they look for it, revel in victim mode, others feel no offence, laugh in the face of it, counter it, I know which I prefer.

Just a feeble attempt at humour, hardly worth thinking about for more than a milli-second.

Why are you pretending to assume that I don't actually say anything when I take the piss out of twatty men?

I'm being slightly disingenuous here actually - I know exactly why. On you go.

Indeed. How do these people cope with life…

I meant that your use of the word tragic was utter hyperbole.

I understand not everyone is quick enough to counter a remark they think is insulting or patronising, and I think everyone at some time in their lives has thought of a brilliant response 5 minutes too late.
But one counter remark, which is none confrontational, is simply to say nicely...'What do you mean by that?' It puts the onus on the remark giver to explain why he said it.

It’s off.

People are being ridiculous to equate thinking something is off to being offended.

I’d think the person is weird and see if they continue to be off. People have said some off sh*t to me and I just remind myself to not bother with them if I don’t have to.