Was this comment by the waiter a bit off?

[doriiii]

This is something that happened a couple of weeks ago but not sure if I'm being overly sensitive.

Went to meet a few friends for some food in a nice pub. I arrived a bit later due to work hours. When I arrived I asked the waiter where they were sat and he walked me over. I asked if they accepted blue light cards, and he said 'only if you say pretty please'.

It really grossed me out, and I knew he wouldn't have said it to my male friends.

I didn't say anything but did kind of laugh when I said 'right ok'.

AIBU to think it's just a bit of a gross comment?

Seriously?.
You need to get out more.
Having worked in all aspects the hospitality trade, there are too many personalities to mention and everyone is different.
Did it not occur to you he was trying to make you smile? Or give you a giggle?.
Working in this business now (Retired) must be a nightmare, with everybody taking offence over the slightest little comment, like OP for instance.
I suspect the art of banter has been seriously curtailed since my day, it’s called free speech, but its people like OP in government that are seriously putting it in danger.
The waiter may or may not say this to a man, but I’ve a suspicion he’s got a phrase he uses on men.
As someone who worked in this sector, break the ice or make someone smile or laugh with a witty, sarcastic or sometimes rude/crude remark was almost the norm.
I loved working behind a bar, collecting glasses, waiting tables, for the banter, especially when the tips proved you had done a good job.
It’s an awful shame that your freedom of speech, due to wingy, moaners and woke government, means that hospitality staff cannot open their mouth, without someone taking offence!.

"a lot of" my sting.
"some" strong work.

I know you're very eager to make me feel small, so how about this:

You got me @Notanartist81. You're smart for me! I made it all up. I've never put a dickhead man in his place for casual, sexist bullshit. I was just trying to make myself sound clever and impressive. I feel really bad and ashamed now.

Feel better?

Yes, but like I said, you are assuming that I don't actually speak at the same time! I say stuff! If I were to give you examples I'd just be making them up for this thread. I can't remember any examples. It's all very off-the-cuff. You had to be there! Whatever I've said has just disappeared off into the ether like - oh I don't know - moths or something.
Just trust me, or not, I don't care!

Sorry to disappoint.

Rather than it being him talking to you like a child are you sure it wasnt a little hint of him trying to flirt with you?

I don't know about misogynistic, but certainly extremely rude and disrespectful

I agree that he wouldn’t have said it to a man. He sounds like a dick but I’d have just ignored him.

Oh "woke". I'm surprised it took so long.

“The waiter may or may not say this to a man, but I’ve a suspicion he’s got a phrase he uses on men” - is the fact that he’d use a different kind of “funny” phrase with a man not an indication that it’s low-key sexist?

Where is it fact? And if a male waiter is hoping for a tip from a female customer then why would it be sexist that he would speak to her differently from male customers.

Jeeeeeeez sense of humour alert, he was just having a little joke/banter with you, maybe he fancied you and was just being cheeky 😂

I think most of the time a witty retort is done instinctively, and like you, I have given out hundreds and only remember the odd one.
The reaction is easier to remember than the actual words.

What a creep!
Too late to report him now, but I wouldn't be going there again.

Totally overreacting.

😂Best post!

I can't understand why you would get so worked up about such a trivial comment, regardless of being on your period or not (as if that excuses you to get so get so het up anyway)
It would be completely different I'd he had replied "are you taking the piss?" or "f off" or something along those lines!!

Waiter sounds like a utter big headed arrogant twat

Would he say it to a man?

the actual answer is nobody knows and it is not such a blatant misogynistic comment that it's beyond all probability.

I honestly wonder how some people on MN get through life. So many of you are offended or find things rude (especially if it's a man who's said something) that wouldn't register with me, or most other people I know.
If you don't want a tiny bit of banter don't go to a pub. I'd rather have a waiter with a bit of banter than a miserable one.
I can't believe it's bothered you enough to make a thread about it two weeks later

I always say "How pretty does the please have to be?' with my most bored face. But ignore him.

Honestly, I think he just made a throw away comment trying to be amusing, which obvs fell flat with you. I'd have just laughed, but I work with the general public and im sure I dont always get it right, but I never mean to offend anyone when having a joke with people.

I'd have taken it as a tongue in cheek remark and not thought anything about it tbh