To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

Exactly!
Most women wouldn't last a week living like an average man!

I actually feel a little sad that front line infantry is considered the life of an average man for the life of the average women to "compete' against. Which is how some of this comes across.

There is always war going on somewhere in the globe, apparently 58 conflicts right now (in 35 countries) but I dont want this to be the average man's experience. I have two sons, I want to believe its an outlier experience. I'd rather the average man had a fullfilling family life, hobbies and honest work that paid fairly.

Not here. I went away with friends for a week then got quite bad Covid so was in bed 2 weeks so out of action for 3 weeks. Dh was fine he was actually better at getting the two than mid teens to do more. Their diet was abit odd but not too bad.

👌🏻😌

Given that the most managers are still men I'm not sure why you think they couldn't manage a household. It is not very much different to running a pub or a shop of a business.

First rule of misogyny in the very first post OP. It's always the woman's fault.

Never mind the massive weight of social conditioning and patriarchy, the never ending expectations of availability, attractiveness and kindness. We just do it to ourselves apparently 😂

Sexism isn't just verbal
The entire world of work is designed for men.
Ergonomics for example
The desk spacing and heights, temperatures, hours are all based on men's needs
Not womens
Car safety
Based on men's needs

And on it goes ...

Depends on the height and size of the woman. A lot of this argument is based on a belief that all women are small, have tiny hands and therefore can’t use phones etc. For millions of us that’s not the case at all. For instance if desks were fashioned around an imagined 5’3” woman, I’d be screwed as I’m much closer to the male average height in this country. I find that many supposedly pro-female positions tend to generalise about all women, labelling them as weak, physically small and light and living in constant fear of men attacking them (but generally strangers, even though this happens very seldom and women are at far greater risk from a domestic partner).

What " argument"?
It's fact
BTW
I'm 5 10 so not assuming anything

So you think that desk heights discriminate against you? How would they when you’re taller than the average man? It’s better to fit things around a larger person - a smaller person can use a space designed for a larger person (sometimes with aids such as boosters) but a larger person would be excluded from using a space designed for a smaller person. Yes small women have not had things designed with them specifically in mind but nor have very tall men.

Adjustable chair?

Also, could you clarify what you mean by desk spacing.

But again, a lot if this is women's choice...

'A lot of women aren't in that position' to keep things equal. Why? Make it equal.

'Appearance pressures' thats bollox. Pressure from who? If women fall for marketing or are stupid enough to pump chemicals into their faces, that's on them, nobody else.

'Being underestimated'. By who?

Women need to crack on with life and stop whining if they want equality. Women are women's worst enemy and posts like this just make us look pathetic.

(I will caveat this by agreeing there is genuine security issue but I don't think men 'wouldn't survive a year' because of it).

Hallelujah ☝️
I was just coming on to say that women are so bloody whiny all the time. Agree with every word.

Perhaps they wouldn’t cope with certain things (the quote ‘if a man could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament’ comes to mind), and most men aren’t hyper vigilant about sexual assault, but as several PP have noted, I couldn’t cope with the expectation of destroying myself in the name of ‘manning up’, being blown to bits on the front line, working a job that grinds my bones into powder to keep power lines running. We are complimentary beings in what we bring to the world really, we are not the same.

Much of the above is patriarchy at work that hurts men as well as women. Pressure to be emotionless and tough or your ‘man card is revoked’ for example.

My partner couldn’t even handle paid paternity leave after the birth of our child. He couldn’t physically stay at home all day due to his mental health. We were meant to take turns with the parental leave. I was to go first and then he was to finish the remainder and be paid by his employer to do so.

He was capable of staying home - he just didn’t want to. He valued his time to himself and working outside of the home and seeing his friends.

As a consequence I was the one who sacrificed my career and stayed at home. I couldn’t go to work because I was the one up all night with our baby. He never woke up one time in the night to look after our baby who wouldn’t sleep at night. Turns out our child is severely autistic. I’m the one who is still the primary carer.

I don’t think the mental load is the thing I have issue with. He handles all the bills and deals with his family - so I don’t feel I have a lot to do in that regard. The thing I have issue with is I’ve sacrificed my freedom for this family. I’m the one who has given up so much. I’m the one that is expected to do everything. I’m the one whose life has changed so much. It’s not the mental load - it’s the physical load.

The thing is even if I had to work I would still have to do everything anyway. Im thankful I chose someone who is able to support a family without me having to work. My sibling has found she works and still has to do everything anyway. It’s not equitable at all.

I can understand why women are happy being single. For all of my 30’s I was concerned that I was single and now I look at the women who never found anyone and they seem so much happier. They are working, earning money and making plans for their future. Meanwhile my life is not my own.

I don’t recognise this as my life, what other women do with theirs, is their choice.

I think it's extremely sexist of you to think that all women spend oodles of time worrying about their appearance and men don't give a fuck.

That may be true of some women and men but is an awfully sweeping generalisation.

The safety thing I do get. I'm sure men do not have to think about that, but it's not something that is constantly on my mind.

My DH has just single handedly renovated our bedroom, laid wooden herringbone flooring, sanded and repainted and oak tallboy, measured and hung blinds, fitted a radiator and put in all new piping for it, and that was in between his 6 on 3 off day job.

I could not have done ANY of that stuff, not would I want to.

So we all have our own pressures to deal with, but thinking about how I look isn't one of mine.

I work from home, perhaps that's why I'm not affected!

My life is very easy so I think they would

I have voted YABU. There are many capable and strong men out there. I think this thread is sexist.

My DH copes comparatively poorly with sickness and fatigue, so I think he would have struggled to swap with periods of my life over the last few years. With the rest of it, we both work FT, but I juggle far more of the home/kid stuff. He could do it, but standards would slip. I was recently out of action for a week recovering from surgery, and they all survived, but there were things like kids in the wrong uniforms for the wrong day, the homework tasks weren’t done well, the lunches weren’t ideal, and the kids were sometimes missing the stuff they needed to pack for subjects or activities. DH is a smart guy, so it comes down to a lack of priority and investment around those things. It’s hard to say who is right though, perhaps the kids would have eventually learnt to sort themselves a bit more with his way than mine. Perhaps I actually make their lives way too easy.

Edited: Sorry @CandyCane457 I didn’t mean to quote you.

I think at the end of a long, hard day, men and women are biologically different. We see and do things differently. Sooner you accept that and learn that communication is the key, the quicker you’ll have a happy and more peaceful life.

Husband not carrying the load? Tell him.

Workmate says something sexist at work? Pull him up on it, escalate if it’s offensive.

Man standing too close to you in a queue? Ask him to give you some space.

Don’t be a martyr, speak up. Nothing will change unless we do.

Having said that, I think my husband would probably cry if he ever got a period. That would be funny for me to watch.

The premise of the thread is bollocks because the "average man" and "average woman" is a myth. Average where? In which country? What income? What race? What sexuality? Too many intersecting factors that also determine the kind of life you lead to boil it down to "average man" and "average woman". The lives of most men and women among themselves are too varied for it to be a meaningful question.

I'm not sure why men on the frontlines of war is being brought up as an example of anything when firstly, most men in the UK couldn't cope with that off the bat and secondly, women have proven they can be capable and adept soldiers.

Ultimately I'm fairly sure most humans of either sex would be able to crack on with whatever hand they get dealt. You think you can't cope with something when you're not used to it but if push came to shove you'd learn how to do it. That includes "managing a household" for men and anything that requires strength training for a woman (which COUNTLESS men and women already bloody prove, this shouldn't need saying in 2025).

Totally disagree OP.

The whole "men couldn't cope with periods/childbirth" thing is so bloody stupid. Men cope with far worse unexpected medical traumas every day. Of course no one is gung-ho about pain, injury or illness that they haven't experienced but the nature of those things is you have no choice so you learn to cope. I don't think I could cope with an amputation, for instance, but people who have them just have to.

As a child-free woman I also don't think I could cope with childbirth (or parenthood tbf) and luckily I have control over those ones.