To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

Genuine question- why does anybody enjoying having a clean, organised and comfortable home and garden they are proud of bother you or have any detrimental effect on your life?

I have all that but I also work. As do millions of others. It’s called being organised.

Well given some tell me they don’t have time to write Christmas cards, turn up to birthday parties very late or even on the wrong day, completely forget school events and forget to bring suncream to the park, etc., I remain sceptical about their domestic organisational levels.

You do realise there's a difference between the general and the specific? Eg, if one person in a given situation says they don't do activity x, that doesn't mean that nobody in that situation does activity x. You do get that, right? Because a lot of what you've written in this thread suggests you don't.

It’s house work however you dress it up. It doesn’t require a strategic approach.

Of course you. How else can you feel superior to the rest of us?
BTW I’m also incredibly organised and manage to write Christmas cards, attend parties and manage DS extensive sporting activities as well as the dozen other things you’ve decided working mothers forget/are incapable of doing . You don’t have the monopoly on being organised!

And I know SAHMs who are lazy af and do very little. And who cares really? Does someone give out trad-wife medals to people for writing Christmas cards? What if you don’t give a shit about irrelevant stuff like cards, your home is still nice, your kids are still happy AND you work, earn money, use your brain, build a career and serve as a role model?

Of course it does when you are a professional housewife. Raking leaves obviously happens in Autumn, external painting in warm weather. You don’t re-stain your fences in January! You don’t host BBQs in November! Time of day is key too- anyone who knows the first thing about gardening knows you do all your daily watering either very early in the morning or after dinner, not when the full sun is on your plants. Certain shrubs require pruning in certain months not others. You air your beds and whole home first thing. You bake ahead and ice your birthday cakes entirely dependent on the humidity on the day. You wash your large bedding and towels on a day rain isn’t forecast. You make a slow cooker dinner at lunch time if you have a twilight volunteering commitment.

Just like anyone striving for excellence, a housewife is obviously strategic!

Of course not- we must minimise the excellence of dedicated SAHPs and home makers at any given opportunity. What do you do all day? A lot of things it appears others aren’t going or even aware need to be done, actually!!!

Well I care, and would feel gutted not to receive any beautiful, real Christmas cards. It’s good to take time to spread joy! Virtual stuff just simply is not the same. Paper and pen, actually thinking and writing, a real book to hold…beautiful things!

I’m sorry but being a housewife isn’t a profession.
I fully respect any women’s choice to be a SAHM but it is not a professional job.
I have no doubt you dedicate a lot of your time and energy to your house and your family but there is no such thing as a professional housewife.

Yeah but must be gutting to put all that effort in and most people don’t care really. Or just pretend to.

I think the thread title should have been "AIBU to think most men wouldn't survive 5 minutes of living in the head of rabid Mumsnetters" 😳🤣

Jesus Christ you are not a professional house wife! You are not employed! You are not salaried! You cannot be sacked for doing a shit job! If you do something wrong absolutely nothing happens to you, because you're not an employee or held accountable for performance reviews.

Intense diarising for Christmas since October!? You sound fucking crazy you need to get a damn job and fill your time up!

Since you're back, why don't you care about women's rights @ThankYouNigel? Why do you believe women don't deserve equal opportunity in the workplace after becoming a mother? While we're at it, why do you not judge anyone on benefits, think the government should give endless handouts so everyone can afford to stay at home with their children but believe that subsidizing child care is the one benefit that is crippling the country? Is it just because it frees women from the domestic chains you think they belong in? TELL ME NIGEL, WHY DON'T YOU CARE ABOUT WOMENS RIGHTS?

I was very much thinking along those lines but I was struggling to come up with a diplomatic way of saying it.

Are you Margot Ledbetter?

@ThankYouNigel It's just occurred to me why you wrote yourself a CV and a job description and call yourself a professional house wife.

You actually think you are employed by your husband because he pays for everything.

shudder

Nerkesha Rogers would beg to differ- plenty of inspirational women out there proudly describing themselves as professional housewives, and that is absolutely up to them.

To be fair, since having children I’m on Christmas all year round. Many tickets go on sale at set times as early as June, certainly September. The best dates and times often go within the first hour, so if you have those dates and times in your diary you get the best opportunity to maximise making memories. I co-ordinate this for all our extended family and booked some things weeks ago- I love my children spending lots of time with their relatives, and I plan this carefully around their different work schedules.

It’s actually because I’m a hard worker who wants the absolute best for my loved ones every moment of every day. I see so many ways I can use my time to make their lives happy each day.

A bit. I treasure homemade things, but get little myself as schools sadly have less time to help children do these things compared to what I used to make for my parents.

Fortunately the adults I know are great at being enthusiastic when my children give them homemade Christmas cards and presents- I would be a bit gutted for them as they are little if someone couldn’t spend a minute doing that.

As an adult, I get that some people don’t care, that’s up to them. A Watsapp photo thank you or verbal thank you really is essential though, not clearly saying ‘thank you’ is far from a sign of ‘progress’.

You are the one trying to tell women what to do…no chance, I have a job already thanks!

I’m interested to know what ‘rights’ you would like that you already having living in the UK. You already have the right to a free education, freedom to pursue higher education or any career, freedom to get married or not, have children or not.

I can’t think of anyway my choices or rights are restricted living here- I’ve always done exactly what I’ve wanted, when I’ve wanted.

The women who’s rights are being restricted are the ones in tears at being forced financially to leave their babies and work when they would prefer to not be prematurely hurried out of their own homes. Devastating!

No. Having to earn your keep is not restricting your rights. Everyone has to work to live. Money doesn't grow on trees. It is literally your job as a parent to provide for your child.

I mean the rights you want to take away from women. You want to take away subsidised child care which will remove many of the rights you listed. It would remove the right to any career and the opportunities for training, networking, gaining influence, the ability to accumulate wealth and own their own property. Women simply can't do any of these things if they are barred from the workforce because they can't afford childcare. And again, it won't be men leaving the workforce to stay at home with the children, it will be women. And before you try to claim it would be up to the couple to choose, couples often don't have a choice which partner gives up work if one has to, it is the lowest earner, which is usually the woman. You want to actively take away mothers freedoms by taking away their child care while also thinking that all other benefits should be endless. Why is that? You still haven't answered the question! You can't can you!?

You're obviously trolling.

No one is deluded enough to think that organising Christmas for their kids is a full time job, to the extent where they call it a profession.

No, it's not up to them. The definition of a professional is a person engaged in a specified activity, as a main paid occupation rather than as a pastime. Mrs Hinch etc ARE professional housewives because they are PAID for being influencers. They sell products and create online content which they monetise like other celebrities do. That makes it their actual profession. If now one pays you, it's a pass time BY DEFINITION. You are not a professional because you are not running a business, you are just looking after your own kids and cleaning your own house.

You can't just make up what words mean. There's a dictionary for a reason.

You know you would get a lot more respect if you just owned the fact you have an easier life by virtue of not having to work and you enjoy being a lady of leisure. Trying to claim you work more hours than actual professionals with full time careers who also do most of what you do except the totally unnecessary year round Christmas planning is just silly, because it's obviously not true and no one is going to take you seriously.