To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

At least we were spared that this time! Tbf I’d have changed my username after some of those comments 🙈

I think I’d change my whole identity, move countries, forever wear a disguise 😂

Hear! Hear!

It's unbelievable that some people try to pass off housework and 'rotating children's art work's as a full time job where nothing else could possibly be managed without putting ones marriage under strain. 🙄

So you would rather have not had a child at all than looked after it yourself for a few years, wow!!! Your poor child if they ever read that! 🙀 No wonder you’ve been so defensive.

Says someone who couldn’t hack it.

I do sincerely hope that you will be first in line to fight for the military in the inevitable next war this country will fight, and not be hiding behind your husband. Or are you one of those who cherry picks which tasks you need to do in order to demonstrate perfect equality? Like those who demand their DHs do half the housework but refuse to alternate Christmas fairly with his side of the family? Plenty of those sort about! They make me laugh.

You know that's not what she meant. You're being deliberately obtuse.

You know that she meant - If I had to give up my autonomy and independence and give up everything I have worked hard to build whilst also having a big drop in living standards whilst my husband's career is completely unaffected, I would not have disadvantaged myself like that.

But the fact you have to misrepresent her as an awful mother to justify yourself shows you don't have a leg to stand on. Look at all of the civilised nations, the less childcare and support is available, the less children women have. Women will not give up their hard earned positions in life and not should they. Subsidised child care is helping to reduce the motherhood penalty, a known economic side effect of becoming a mother. But you don't care about women or their rights do you @ThankYouNigel. I can't believe you actually think women deserve to be domestic slaves if they have children! Poor women! Are they nothing but incubators!? 😱

I'll fight. I'll be the first to defend my children against any sort of harm, over my dead body is the only way harm would come to my children from invaders. I won't be cowering behind a man like you do dear. I also alternate Christmases and tolerate his batshit mother as often as I see my own for equality!

So again @ThankYouNigel why don't you care about women's rights?

Why can't you just answer the question @ThankYouNigel ?

Why don't you care about women's rights?

It's a very simple one.

You don’t care about women’s rights, choices or preferences. You can’t get that people do things differently to you. Hence why I am now beyond bored. Goodbye!

No, not my poor child. He didn’t exist when I was making those decisions so don’t be ridiculous.
You said on previous thread that you only married your husband because he agreed to support you financially to be a SAHM. It’s a similar thing.

We all make decisions about our lives and what we want for the future. I did not want to be a SAHM and I didn’t want to be married to a man who expected that from me and saw housework and childcare as women’s work. I chose not to have children with my ex husband because he wouldn’t have stepped up and been an equal parent. He had sexist and outdated views on the role of women. Had I stayed married to him I would have remained child free.

When I met my now DH I made it clear that if we were to have children I’d be going back to work full time and I expected him to be an equal parent. How is that any different to the conversation you had with your DH?

And I’m not defensive. I’m just calling you out on your bullshit posts which judge women who have made different choices to you. I’m not the one who is so desperate for external validation I abuse other women on the internet.

The tone I read that Goodbye in. I’m sure you can imagine 😂

Have you read your own posts? You literally think women should be forced to give up work when they have children.

Sounds like a fairly weak marriage if it can’t handle sharing out the floor cleaning, IMO.

Yup

😂

You won't be fighting in the next inevitable war to protect your children then? You'll just be hoping your husband fights it for you and if he falls you'll say well I hoped! And take to the fainting couch while the russians destroy our glorious England? Your poor children!

Mind you, if you can't handle even some part time work on top of rotating the seasonal art work and dusting the radiators I wouldn't expect you to to fight for anything really.

I’d ignore that poster. It’s a bloke pretending to be a woman. He is always on threads talking about knickers but it’s a bloke. 🤮

eta. He writes stuff that is against men to try and show he is really a woman but he isn’t. Perv.

1-2 times a year whole house - two days max then …
case and point - thanks !

Yes no wonder some men think we are ‘less than’ ffs

Nor me and often the women who say it live in very safe leafy, lit up, areas and drive! - and have never ever been ‘cat called’ in their lives /or since 1984
bonkers

You sound absolutely crazy woman

get a grip !

I was waiting for that one. Of course that’s only 2 days, but there are many other tasks like that which you regularly rotate. If only 2 days is nothing, why do so few do tasks like this then if they are so easy to fit in? I read threads on here that people find pegging and unpegging washing outside too much effort 😂

You miss the point. Proper home-making is about following the natural ebb and flow of your individual household. You establish your weekly non-negotiable cleaning routine, then you strategically plan bigger tasks when they best fit each month. These don’t just include cleaning.

For example, Spring is best for a whole house deep clean, washing the walls and windows, etc. May half term onwards attending school events and volunteering ramps up- I was at my DC’s school 2-3 days per week. Summer holidays are best focused on gardening/fun activities like board games & jewellery making/days out (much harder to do such detailed cleans when your children are home from school). I spent 2 weekdays deep cleaning everything in the kitchen to get ahead before their last day. October half term onwards is intense Christmas preparation. I strategically ease off cleaning as Christmas preparations need so much carefully diarising and attention to detail (home and school Christmas lists are 2 separate things!)

A previous poster mocked me for writing this all down, but if you do an inventory of everything in every room inside, and for your garden, nothing is forgotten and nothing ever ends up being a big job. People can laugh, but your home will thank you for it!

Nope, not crazy- clean, hygienic, tidy and organised actually.

I would laugh because most of it is so pointless and is just you trying to convince yourself that your “job” and “routine” is just as important/relevant as those who do paid work. The truth is it’s not and nobody cares apart from you (even if your husband pretends he thinks it’s vital).