To think most men wouldn’t survive a year living the life of an average woman?

[ThatRealLimeBee]

The daily grind of sexism, safety worries, juggling expectations, emotional labour… Most men have no idea. AIBU to think they’d crumble under the load if they had to swap lives with us for a year?

Google Thursford’s variety of Christmas events- they went on sale ages ago 👌🏻

Wanting parents and grandparents actually to have the right to care for their own family under school age, and not being discriminated against and priced out of that option, does not equate to restricting women’s rights 😂

While I'm unqualified to be a professional housewife, I do regularly cook and I take pride in the quality of the food I make. As such I hereby declare myself a professional chef.

Do you have friends from other countries? Completely the norm to take parental leave until children are 3 in Germany- my close friend from Germany cannot believe what mothers accept as normal here.

Oh and check out all the Christmas threads on here- I have found my people! Others who know that Christmas shopping for the following year starts in the sales ideally on Dec 27th depending on family commitments.

Do you have school aged children yet? Your Christmas list is about to massively expand when you do! 🎅🏻🤶🏻 Embrace it, have fun!

So why do you think it's ok for the government to spend money on benefits for everyone to stay home with their children for three years but it's not ok for the government to spend money on childcare to enable to women to partake in the world of work equally to men? Why don't you think that women deserve that equal opportunity?

Nobody is saying parents can’t care for their children. If you can survive being dependent on your husband for an extensive period of time then you can crack on. Theres nothing stopping you. Most people don’t really want to do that once all things have been considered, such as the impact of a loss of career. It’s actually fine if you are ultra high net worth because in a divorce there would be more than enough to set you up for life and you don’t need to work.

But you’d have to be a big gambler to do it if your DH earns fairly well (say 70-150k) and you don’t have loads of assets. Then if you cut off your earning capacity you have a high chance of being fucked on divorce and later in old age. Nearly half of marriages break down. Spousal maintenance is quite rare these days and even if you get an okay settlement, you could face poverty in old age which I have seen with a number of my mums friends.

Interestingly my mums friends who were homemakers all managed to raise ungrateful brats who didn’t appreciate any of the hard work they did in the home and now look down on them because they were “just” housewives and they think they are thick. They genuinely could have given them oven chips, sent them to childcare and saved themselves all that effort. Imagine going to all those lengths to source Christmas tickets in January and your ungrateful child grows up looking down on you and will never appreciate what you did and you don’t have a better relationship with them than any of the mums who sent their children to nursery. That must sting.

You know the adults are laying it on due to your excitement and ‘expectant little face’ rather than your kids, don’t you ? The gratitude and amazement at the child’s skill is all performative surely you realise that??
People don’t ‘treasure’ kids crafts , they think aww that’s cute, thanks and stick it on the fridge or out on the kitchen window sill and be er look at it again.

You remind me of when I was teaching the mums who actually did the child’s project /topic work for them, creating elaborate works of art over a whole weekend and carrying it in carefully and proudly on a Monday morning expecting an award, opposed to the kids bumbling in with a cardboard box with some wool, pasta and glitter stuck on the sides.
Those sad tragic beaming mums were the butt of many, many jokes.

How wonderful to hear someone taking pride in the quality of the food they make, it’s a skill to be proud of for sure. Lucky family and friends! You are giving much joy to their day!

What a lovely person you sound. How horrible mocking people who take the time to support their child’s education. How hypocritical of schools not to value that. Stop sending such complicated homework which is often far from age appropriate then?

Oh I couldn’t agree more the children need to be taught appreciation, gratitude and manners. My children are fully involved in all household chores and gardening, they offer to help without even being asked actually. They say thank you with sincerity, I have modelled that and absolutely expect that. I personally don’t agree with children not doing chores- mine have proved very capable of that from age 1-2. Once a child can walk they are certainly capable of dropping a few toys in a box!

It doesn’t make it true though.
You can be proud to be a housewife and take inspiration from other housewives but that doesn’t make it a ‘profession’.

I understand that external validation is really important to you but this just makes you sound ridiculous and is not going to gain the the respect you so desperately crave.

Nor is having a job. It’s just a job, you are just a number, your boss would replace you tomorrow without a backwards glance if it suited them. Nobody really cares about anyone’s job, or is interested in hearing them bore on about it. How sad if your whole identity as a human being revolved around a job title which can be removed.

I love not having a boss telling me what to do, I do exactly what I like, the freedom is utterly intoxicating! That’s what the government are keen to prevent people realising 😜

No but removing subsidised childcare does discriminate against women. Forcing them into a situation where they have no choice but to stop working is restricting their choices. But because you don’t care about working mothers you conveniently ignore that fact.

Touch a nerve? Give over!
There’s helping with a home project by collating some materials and a box ( it’s always a bloody box 📦) and starting them off - to parents working on/adding final flourishes to elaborate works of art until 11pm on Sunday nights long after little Nigel has gone to bed.
We would deliberately shove those at the back of the display table and the Clarks shoe box with glued on toilet rolls, bark and a random power ranger sellotaped on for luck would be pride of place obscuring the ‘parents piece’
But it did give us a lot of comedy mileage tbh - so thankyou x

You’d soon care about people jobs if there were no longer any teachers, healthcare professionals, carers, university lecturers, retail staff, social workers etc because women were forced out of the labour market.
And who do you think helps fund all of the services you use through the taxes? Oh yeah, women who work!

I think it’s sad you’re so resentful of women who make different choices to you.

Lol they are now but my mums friends’ kids who I grew up with were also delightful and polite as children. As adults they don’t have an especially close relationship with their mums and all the daughters are career women and wouldn’t dream of being a SAHM. They also seem to see their mothers as stupid due to lack of career and education and there seems to be no appreciation for the sacrifice they made. On a personal level, I didn’t go to nursery or childminder either as my mum stayed at home and genuinely, I wish I had. I have an odd relationship with my mum and I think she’s a narcissist who partly expressed it through being an “ideal homemaker” (there’s a lot about your posts that reminds me of her). I don’t think I benefited from being home with her and my siblings don’t either and we all sent our DC to childcare and didn’t give up work.

And by the way, some of us do actually work in professional jobs - jobs that are specifically defined that way, require specific qualifications and memberships of professional bodies.

Are you actually for real?

Who is the one receiving nothing but horrible comments from every other poster on here?! 😂 People who completely misunderstand what I do, people who mock every aspect of it, people who don’t believe what I do (genuinely, why would someone lie about booking Christmas tickets early?! 😂 and yea radiators do need to be cleaned- try it and see for yourself how much filth falls out!), people who cannot comprehend that people enjoy doing different tasks to themselves, people who say they do the same but don’t- some serious gaslighting going on!

My partner has just made me my morning coffee. So he’s now, ✨ a barista ✨

He is however the wrong sex to be in the kitchen. So not sure what to do about that.

This doesn’t surprise me- I’ve yet to come across a poster on here who has one good word to say about their own mother. I hope their own children return the favour!

Yeah, you’re horrible and I get why more parents are home educating.

My DCs school sends so much homework from Reception which was way too hard. All parents helped and many complained actually. The children at that age are unable to even read what they are supposed to be doing. You should know that.

Unfortunately, we as a society are threatened by excellence and praise being a lazy/bad mom. I despise it.

I’ve got lots of good things to say about my mother. She raised 3 children, largely by herself.

After leaving my alcoholic abusive father, who was the bread winner, we were dirt poor and better cared for by a woman who not only worked to get the little that we had, but taught her children (daughters) the dangers of relying on or being ordered about by a man.

She’s now got independent children who can hold their own ground and pay their own way, and rely on their partners for precisely zero that they couldn’t happily do themselves.

She’s remarried now, to my wonderful stepfather. She is now the breadwinner (all the women in my immediate family are) and both her and my stepdad manage their home.

I’m heading back to the Christmas boards anyway, I have found my people there not here! 🎅🏻🤶🏻🎁🥂🥳

Certain ‘Feminists’ need to be more honest about the fact that they don’t want equality, but for all women to be the breadwinners. Men are wising up to that though, and it is doomed to fail.

I’m a former teacher who puts artwork on the fridge for about 2 days before it goes in the bin, because I don’t like tat.

I save the very best, but I can’t keep every paint smudge or glued pasta, so 99% of it lasts a few days then is gone.

It is not rotated 😂