To ask neighbour to close curtains

[Handrearedmagpie]

First of all, I know IABU. It's more a question of HOW unreasonable.
My young DS is autistic, non speaking and has a severe learning disability. Meltdowns are triggered by sudden changes like adverts on the TV. Neighbour diagonally across street from me has very large windows and an ENORMOUS TV. Never shuts her curtains/blinds so DS can watch her TV from our house and fixates on it when his own tablet is removed before bedtime.
Every. Single. Night. It's meltdown when adverts appear on her TV. Obviously I shut our own blinds but he knows her TV is there and just opens them again, or he will go upstairs and hyper focus on her TV from my bedroom window.
How horrendously unreasonable would I be to ask her to close her blinds for half an hour at night just to avoid this nightly hysteria??! I'm at my wits end with it.
YABU - absolutely unreasonable. It's your child's disability to manage.
YANBU - you can only ask and see what she says.

You sound a lovely mum, trying to do her best to support her child. Asking politely as you say you will is perfectly fine. I hope your neighbour is understanding. I hope you get all the support you can as your son grows up.

I wouldn’t if I was asked. I like the light coming in for as long as possible.

i have a lot of sympathy for your situation. I’m confused though - does your neighbour just watch adverts? Does your dc get equally excited if she’s watching corrie or the news? Most people I know don’t watch much live TV and actively avoid adverts.

I have good neighbours and I am a good neighbour but I wouldn't do this I'm afraid. I'd worry that there would be another thing , and another thing. I have a friend who was very accommodating to her neighbours and they pushed and ignored every boundary

100% this! Some complete selfish attitudes on here- and this is what makes life much worse.

You may not agree with the OP and that is fine. She wanted opinions. But why can’t people like you read the room? There is a mother here really struggling with an issue with her child and must be exhausted. Why not write your posts with some sensitivity, even if you disagree, which is fine? Do you not have the literacy or vocabulary to do so?

People like you really make the world a worse place. Also, I don’t believe that truly content people behave like you.

The OP sounds desperate. I have not been in her position. Maybe if I was, I would make a polite request like this of a neighbour. She is at the end of her tether. I don’t have kids with special needs but it sounds really tough and if I could help somebody I would, at least for a few days. My husband would I know as well. We are not doormats or pushovers, but we are decent people with empathy.

You might if you were truly sleep-deprived and desperate. I am sure the OP has no desire to ask something so extreme unless she is not coping.

Wow, one of the nastiest comments I have ever read. What a horrible person you are.

Same for me, I would rather know so I could help if possible. As long as you are polite and don't have any expectations of them I would ask.

Explain what youve said here and any decent person would say ok

OR, they could tell you to solve your own problem by using a window film that lets light in but obscures the view. Why is it okay to make this someone else’s problem when it’s easily solved yourself? Just stick that in all windows where there is a view of the tv.

Another unhappy person.

Last thing I'm ever gonna do is have my neighbours dictate what I do in my own house

I can really imagine the person you are from the way you have written this!

We wouldn’t remember consistently even though we also have a child with autism so would be sympathetic to your reasons. But we work hard and by 8pm would likely be slumped down in front of the TV and not focused on anything other than unwinding for a few hours before heading to bed.

I’d happily agree. But then I’m a decent person who will accept a small inconvenience if it makes someone else’s life measurably better.

OP - I know it’s base but you can’t ask a neighbour to change her daily routine for this.

no way

buy that cloudy film for your window

How about getting roller shutters for the outside of your windows, that wag your ds wouldn't be able to open them.

https://www.diy.com/timber-joinery/window-shutters.cat

This may sound a bit odd, a friends child had additional needs and was fixated with people walking past the house, to the point that when someone did she would become extremely stressed, hurt herself and have a meltdown. Like your son window coverings etc didn’t work. In the end they took a high quality photo of outside and had it made into a big sticker that was then fitted onto the window with a layer of perspex on the front to prevent picking and so it still appeared to look like glass. Due to her particular needs it didn’t matter if the ‘view’ was daylight but it was dark, or raining etc.

Why cant you close your own curtains /blinds?

Asking is not dictating.

Jeez some people are very ungenerous to each other.

I'd say yes if asked

Honestly I’d likely forget and then go oh shit it’s 9pm was meant to close the curtains. So might just be easier for me to say no.

Would also be worried what other ask might come next too.

It literally says in her post that he just opens them or finds a different window.

I’m sure your neighbour will understand anyone with a heart would. Good luck 💐

Can’t you just buy those no drill shutters, and make a habbit of closing the curtains / blinds & shutters at 6:30 to prepare your home for relaxation?