It's not "passed" or "passed away", it's "died"

[SherlockHolmes]

So sick of this euphemism being used everywhere. It's not factual - no one has passed anywhere, they're dead.

I get it if it's someone close to you and you can't bring yourself to actually mention death, but it's being used in news reports etc. Utterly ridiculous.

If @SherlockHolmes comes back to the thread, I know exactly what the drip feed is going to be....

The seemingly compulsory use of the word ‘sadly’ before either passed away or died gets me as well. Performative emotion. Obviously it’s sad. No need to say it. Like people tattooing a giant poppy on their face every October 1st.

"Lost" is awful as it leaves so much room for a misunderstanding, especially when referring to children.

Hard agree

My mum died. It was devastating. Passed doesn't cut it! People die like flames die. The physical body is still there but that spark that made them them is gone.

I am pretty suspicious of most euphemisms tbh. Especially ones foisted on children. Too easy to hide nefarious intent.

Totally agree as well.

I want to know who passed away/passed over/shuffled off this mortal coil/passed that made you judge, jury and executioner of stating that someone's life has ended should be.

I agree

Oh, I only came across that expression in the last few years and usually about animals. I was completely taken back.
I do struggle with euphomisms

There is a very good bit in Lucy Pollock’Book about Getting Older where she is working on a geriatrics ward and one of the junior doctors tells her they’ve lost a patient, and she freaks out worrying that one of her patients with dementia has escaped from the ward and is hiding somewhere alone and frightened, when in fact they have just died, which is what happens quite a lot on a geriatrics ward.

Anyway, I prefer “died” but don’t care at all what other people say as long as they’re clear. I suspect sometimes people are saying “passed away” because they don’t know the other person’s preferences and would prefer to be thought prissy than be insensitive.

Agree x 100, a young family member of mine has died recently, they died in horrible and shocking circumstances and we are all going through the most awful grief because they died a frightening and painful death. "Passed" is a denial of reality, my relative passed their A levels, they passed their driving test .

How about 'My Mum died' followed by, recently, two years ago, in 20xx, ?
I'm afraid to me 'is no longer with us' could be taken to meant left with a lover, left an abusive relationship, or even, has dementia.

People can use what terminology that they want. When I had to tell my kids their dad had gone it was died because their heads wouldn’t have processed anything else.

however having witnessed my husband dying, looking at his body and realising that his body was just a shell and his soul was no longer there for me he did pass away, his soul went somewhere else. Prob sounds crackers but that’s my experience. I wouldn’t be hurting anyone by saying that.

Me too. I still can't say it and it was nearly 60 years ago. He 'passed away' is just about OK and I don't really give a shit if it offends you.

Totally agree - I thought I was the only person that hated these terms.

I've told my husband to make sure these fluffy terms aren't used and to make sure the terms died and dead are used when it's my time!

Passed away is a totally normal and widely used phrase to mean that someone has died. Words can have more than one meaning, and we can use different phrases to describe the same thing. But you and everyone else on Mumsnet who thinks they are oh so edgy and clever about it absolutely know that.

Do you deliberately misunderstand a lot of things other people say?

I say died, if it is a long time ago I might refer to someone as no longer with us, or the late (name). I am ok with passed away, do not like passed.

Op actually said :
I get it if it's someone close to you and you can't bring yourself to actually mention death, but it's being used in news reports etc.

We know exactly what they mean - it still communicates what has occurred, so why does it really matter?

Not this again! I’m assuming you’re the same poster who posted this exact thread a few days ago, at 0400 which was then deleted.

It’s been 15 years and I still say passed away. Maybe if you unexpectedly were widowed at the age of 30 with a 1 yo you would say passed away too.

I know he’s dead, his ashes are here. I’m not in denial.

It's not something I can get het up about. Whichever brings the most peace. The death of a loved one is hard enough as it is without worrying about using the correct terminology.

To some they have passed on - they believe life does not end when we leave this environment/phase.

And why does it matter? We all know what someone means and that language is softer than saying dead/died or death esp if the person is grieving.

Seriously the word police are the worst kind of police.

YABU.

I agree but I can understand that it is a “softer” term. My son won an award at school the other day that had been dedicated to a lady who had worked at the school and had since died. The headmaster used the word “passed” when explaining the award. The first thing my son asked me was “did the lady die who this award was dedicated to?”.

I think it's an import from the US like a lot of our corrupted language.

I despair that it's become common parlance in the media, where I think they should use more accurate language rather than emotional euphemisms.

My opinion is it's coming from a religious belief that someone has 'passed to the other side', rather than just 'passed away'.

Death is now the 'new sex': It's unmentionable except in hushed tones and euphemisms.