It's not "passed" or "passed away", it's "died"

[SherlockHolmes]

So sick of this euphemism being used everywhere. It's not factual - no one has passed anywhere, they're dead.

I get it if it's someone close to you and you can't bring yourself to actually mention death, but it's being used in news reports etc. Utterly ridiculous.

I think that people should be able to talk about death more openly. I've worked in palliative care, and I am not particularly squeamish about it.
I don't see what is wrong with saying that someone has passed now or passed away.
Its less jarring for a lot of people, and it doesn't hurt to be sensitive to this.

Agreed. I’m not a fan of ‘crossed the rainbow bridge’ either

Oooops, read that as passed wind.

Should I leave now?

I always use the word died. I actually don't see how euphemisms make the death any easier to cope with.

I think if someone is a Spiritualist and actually believes the loved one has " passed over " into the Spirit world then yes the term passed over is appropriate for them. But for me that expression just conjours up visions of Madame Acarti ( in Blithe Spirit) because I'm not a believer.

My father is dying. We don't say that to his face or when talking to each other about it. We say he has terminal cancer or a poor prognosis.

Maybe those are euphemisms but the human mind can only deal with so much suffering and we'd like to enjoy our tea, cake and daytime TV while we can without too much harsh reality intruding.

I'm someone who would say "died" rather than "passed away" and I'm interested to know what type of people prefer which. Is it class, religion, educational background or just mixed across all groups?

Ultimately, I think it's up to the bereaved which they prefer.

Came on to say the same thing. As a probate solicitor i have to be careful with my choice of words.

Or, you do you ?

Agree.

Why police people who are grieving on what word they use?

Plus, the usage could also be about their own personal beliefs.

Some cultures do not believe that death is final so will not use the term died.

I can’t imagine telling them that they have to use died because someone else doesn’t like the words “passed” or “ passed on”.

I work for a children’s hospice and something that is drummed into us is to use the word died.

as someone said it’s clear, honest and transparent. But also we do a lot of work with siblings and it’s crucial there is no ambiguity. We talk about death because a good death is just as important as a good life.

however we would always been respectful of whatever words a family wants to use.

Does it matter in the great scheme of things if you want to say died say it if you want to say passed/passed away, or whatever works for you say it. Why is there this need to control what people say or think.

I've experienced plenty of loss, including my only baby, thanks. I do not have a problem with the word died. I also accept when I need to use passed away in a professional context.

My DM was completely in agreement with this. She died in 2012 - thank you for making me think of her 😊Having said this I do try to go with whatever terms people use

I swear there's this exact thread every fortnight on mumsnet. Just... leave people alone.

Never heard of unalivied.

I absolutely agree about passed and passed away from my personal point of view but I'd never want to judge other people's choice of language at a difficult time for them.

This..
it is beyond me why people give a fuck and actually judge how people phrase the way they have lost a loved one. Who cares? Why can’t people just be kind?

I say died but don't mind passed away either. I don't know where the use of 'passed' has come from but it seems a new thing to me. I hate it because it's so unclear, could refer to anything from dying to passing a driving test.

Unalived is used on social media because they censor/flag specific words on certain platforms.

Our sons were both away when our dog died and I texted them to tell them. If I’d said ‘the dog’s gone over the rainbow bridge’ they’d have been mightily confused!

When I went to hospital with a suspected mc a nurse asked me if my baby died. It was brutally harsh. I think using passed/passed away is kinder and gentler when you don't know someone.

I usually take the lead from the terminology the close relatives use. Personally I say someone has died, but I know my mother prefers passed away, as do many of her generation. I don’t think anyone has the right to police how other people refer to something so sensitive. After all, it’s not as if we don’t all understand what people mean is it!

I use the factual word “died”. I see nothing wrong with it when said about someone who has recently departed. It’s not like saying “he’s dead”, which could be deemed disrespectful.

What about a while after the event? My mum “died” over 2 years ago but do I now say “my mum’s dead now” or my mum “is no longer with us”

I work in a care home and I will always say to relative their loved ones have passed away. **

I'm always reminded of LM Montgomery. One of her characters was described as. "Crossing the bar".

Don’t even need a heart, just a bit of empathy and realising it is a nonsense thing to moan about.