It's not "passed" or "passed away", it's "died"

[SherlockHolmes]

So sick of this euphemism being used everywhere. It's not factual - no one has passed anywhere, they're dead.

I get it if it's someone close to you and you can't bring yourself to actually mention death, but it's being used in news reports etc. Utterly ridiculous.

Absolutely true & right you are
Much prefer compassionate terminology
God Bless You&Yours
💚🌼💚

Maybe because in several culture, their soul passed on to somewhere else, and didn’t just die hence not using the word died because personally that is not how they see death.

Some people see it as done, others see it as moving on to another place.

I agree. When I hear that someone has "passed" I think of an exam or a driving test!
"Passed away" is a bit less ambiguous I guess.

Think it’s not worth arguing about really but I think you can say that someone died with enormous sensitivity.

Fair point

Wow imagine someone having a different preference to you at a difficult time.

Why make a post 🙄

🫂So true

If a recently-bereaved person tells you that they're so comforted to think of their loved one going to heaven, being reincarnated as a princess, returning to the earth and being free, or whatever they personally believe... why on earth would you feel the need to make it all about you?

Nobody is asking you to tell them that their belief is correct, even if you personally think it's a load of rubbish - all you have to do is say gently that it's lovely they can find peace in their loss.

There's a time for these things... and it isn't then.

This is just stupid, its reminds me of childish talk from toddlers...

Yes, and how do you know if the person at the bus stop is grieving or not. Well you don't and I've had what seems like more than my share or bereavements, so if I want to say passed, passed away, no longer with us, or some other euphemism I fg will.

B4 I was 20 my mom, and 2Gps
B4 I was 30 2more Gps, mil
B4 I was 40 my father, my step mom and countless friends
B4 50 my DP,
B4 55 my brother, my adopted mom, my fil

I am not bothered by what term someone uses. A grieving person should have their choice of word respected.

It does remind me of the day I passed my driving test though. DH rang the insurance company and informed the woman on the phone that he needed to update the insurance as his wife had passed. The woman immediately offered her condolences which confused DH for a moment before he realised and quickly reassured her that I had in fact passed my driving test and was very much alive and kicking.

My dad passed away this morning in his sleep.

I worked as a bereavement counsellor and would mirror what the client said

i do the same when someone is telling me about someone they loved/family member

for some the word dead/died is just to painful and final at that point in time I think it’s important to respect this

YANBU
I can tolerate passed away when you refer to a somewhat peaceful death but for some instances it seems so wrong. Someone very dear to me died in a violent car crash they most definitely didn’t pass away. They died.
I blame America. It seems that they struggle with some words. They are responsible for gender instead of sex for example and bathroom instead of toilet. Saying someone has passed is like they are trying to avoid saying died.

The phases ‘passed’, ‘passed away’ or ‘lost’ are so stupid they are covers for what happened. Such as ‘lost’ you haven’t lost them you know where are are. I think people use them as you hear them quite a lot and people get used to them

Does it matter? Everyone has their own way of describing it. 🤷‍♀️

But you know that when someone says ‘passed away,’ it means died. There is no confusion. It’s a figure of speech. Hardly ridiculous. There are loads of expressions that aren’t literal, but people know what they mean. Do you all get so get up when someone refers to a miscarriage as a ‘lost’ baby? Someone sent a message to me a few weeks ago. “We lost our baby at 29 weeks”. You can be sure I didn’t feign confusion! Or if someone said “I lost dad to Covid during the pandemic”, would you say oh, have you found him yet?

Sorry @DandyDenimScroller

Agree. I’m a died man, but if anyone told me I must say passed away to spare their sensibilities, I’d (want to) tell them where to shove it. Exception obviously if it was to avoid someone’s distress.

The passed away crew should do the same to anyone who wants to impose their language too.

Also, I’m an atheist, but why mock people who believe their loved one has passed on for describing death in terms that accurately reflect that?

Is it really ‘stupid’ for people to use the word or phrase that they find easiest when they have been bereaved, @peaceinourtime?

If someone had told me my choice of phrase was stupid or wrong, when I was talking about the death of my dad or mum, I would have been sickened, and it would have caused me more pain at an already painful time - I would find that hard to forgive or forget.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but no-one is entitled to push their opinion on to a bereaved person who is just trying to get through the pain of losing someone they love. I believe that the feelings and needs of the bereaved person matter far, far more than my opinions on their choice of phrase.

We've already had this about 'lost' - it just means that you no longer have something (or somebody) with you.

That might mean because they've wandered off somewhere and you have no idea where; it can equally mean that you do know where it is/they are, but no longer a part of your life.

If you lose your job and then, as a result, you lose your house, you know exactly where they both still are - they're just somebody else's concern now and no longer yours.

I actually do say either died or lost about my mum
She died during the time of covid - she went in an ambulance one day. She died alone and I never saw her again - for me she is lost.

I think ‘unalive’ is to avoid being picked up by social media screening

So sorry to hear this. Covid at its height was such a terrible time.

When my husband died it took me a long time to accept the fact that he was ‘dead’. I couldn’t reconcile the person he’d been a few days before with the fact that he was now not alive. For a long time I referred to him as passed away or passed on. Now, several years later I use the term ‘died’, because I came to terms with it and accepted it. I don’t see why I should be apologetic for using a term which best expressed my feelings during one of the most painful and stressful times of my life. How I referred to his death was my choice. It wasn’t about anyone else’s’ sensibilities, it was about mine and anyone attempting to make it about them would have been shown the door.

They are not ‘covers’. Anyone who has grieved the death of a loved one will tell you that. The terminology you use for it depends on whether you have come to terms and accepted what’s happened.