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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bonnie blue 1000 men and me

499 replies

tangerinemagic · 31/07/2025 09:05

I watched last night (don’t ask me why) I wish I didn’t. Woke up feeling dirty. Pure greed is where her motivation comes from. ‘Bonnie’ aka Tia boasted throughout she is a multi millionaire, where she started making £50k/month and went up to £2m/month before OF shut her account down. Now she’s back to making £600k/month on her new site, selling her body. The men queing up for her 1000 men stunt were just arriving from the street, no one had vetted them and the ones who were on show looked far too old for her and frankly, disgusting in old tracksuit bottoms and huge beer bellies. I’m so concerned by the internet. The young women on the show were ‘Only Fans creators’ and were 18-21, seemed nervous, shy and about to film a porn scene with Bonnie, completely for free but by Bonnie tagging them they would be earning money through new subscribers. These young girls, like Bonnie were stating it’s better than sitting behind a desk.

AIBU to wake up feeling anxious, disgusted, concerned with the damage and short cut to money Only Fans is creating for young women.

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 31/07/2025 13:08

Guavafish1 · 31/07/2025 13:05

Many sell them self to feed their kids….

You told me specifically that I can’t have been broke, well I have, you know nothing. Moronic thing to say to someone you don’t even know.

DJSteves · 31/07/2025 13:09

I watch it last night and found it intriguing. I didn’t realise she was married and it alluded to her separating from her husband later on in the programme. The amount of money she is making is insane. She seemed and looked older than 25. She came across as very ‘hard’ if that makes sense. I found the most disturbing part was the interview with the young 21 year old. Who was marketing herself as looking young. I really felt uncomfortable with that. Pushing the narrative that OF is the path to riches.

BeardofHagrid · 31/07/2025 13:10

Do other adult stars live rent free in your mind? Just ignore her for gods sake. She’s not doing anything particularly nefarious like some others who use child or Down’s syndrome filters.

CutiePatootee · 31/07/2025 13:23

@BeardofHagrid

i don’t think it’s her living rent free in our minds, so much as the relentless self-promotion she does. Back in January (?) when she did this stunt, you couldn’t bloody move for her. She was everywhere! Even on mainstream tv, and radio. Less of allowing her in the mind, more of her being pushed in!
I didn’t ask for the FB ad yesterday, but there she was 🤷‍♀️

Livpool · 31/07/2025 13:24

She is vile and not remotely a feminist!

SameOldMe · 31/07/2025 13:25

Going to watch it tonight I people so interesting. I have nothing against her I think she's doing it for money and the power and outs her body and her choice. Doesn't Surprise me that the men are paying / sleeping with ger either! I might stand corrected though

IfThisIsProgressGodHelpUs · 31/07/2025 13:29

I watched it, having read the Guardian interview.
I teach some lessons on enthusiastic, sober consent and about discrimination. It's important to see what our young teens are being exposed to and many young men have been exposed to the likes of Tate and Blue. Some show misogynistic attitudes in the classroom (sexualised moans out loud), talk about sigma/simp, label on looks.
You need to know what you're dealing with.

I saw The Annabel Chong story years ago. She was the first to do this kind of stunt. Turns out she had been gang raped previously, so there was trauma there. She did gender studies and defended it as performance art then much later became a software engineer.

Tia/BB cannot have children and her husband has promoted her doing this in the past. They have now split and he'll presumably take half of what she's worth. Her family are all on the payroll. What I found bizarre/heinous was her right hand man/co-producer friend used to work with traumatised kids and has now gone into this line of work. The disconnect there...I have no words.

Tia comes across as business-savvy - the kind of woman you'd see on The Apprentice - and her USP whilst grim* was clever for that line of work.
Virgins: <STDs, <endowed compared with male performers, <overheads (weren't being paid), >quick and some would be pathetically grateful hence Tia can tell herself she's doing the world a favour/active community service.

She's now in a situation where she is pushed into treating the job as endurance/performance to justify the pain (David Blaine/Marina Abromavic)

*25/2+7= 19.5
18 year olds, giving written consent or not was always going to be nonce territory hence her being labelled predatory. Her involving other young women for more clicks is not going to help her escape that label. She's on dodgy ground.

Sadly, there are so many young women now seeking self-validation by likes. The TikTok reels and sexualisation - pouting duck face/lip sync/dancing content they are putting out there is a safeguarding concern. Many schools are aware of this social contagion.

Some young men have been fed the Tate/manosphere bs. I have hope that if enough teachers are tackling it together, they will come to realise it's all bollocks. I watched the Blue/Tate podcast, so you don't have to, and it was abysmal/beyond stupid trolling. In short, he insists society is screwed because women are no longer obedient virginal wife material, men have a biological imperative, he himself no longer puts sex as a priority as he's top of the pyramid and any man nurturing children is gay, as is any man in a gangbang because of semen cross-contamination. She thinks she's bringing down rape statistics, doing a community service by teaching virgins what women want (what, in 38 seconds?!) and that she's honest in what she does and why (using her body to make enough money to live well, although does not mention how much she'd be happy with and when she'd retire. She just said she would never recant/find religion/blame others at a later date).

It is beyond depressing and makes social media even more dangerous for our young people. Bad enough with influencers/towie/Geordie shore/love island, and trying to explain don't do selfies/nudes/share images even with consenting partners, but now young women see Only Fans as a viable job (Ooh Lily Allen's making cash out of men using her feet) or both sexes see influencing/content creating as an easy way of making quick money (Sure it can be for some but there's the ongoing pressure there of what to use next).

Jon Ronson's deep dive into August Ames's death shone a light into the murkiness and vulnerability of those in the porn industry. And Grace Qwen was a couple of decades ago. Plus ca change. Maybe AI [shudders] and sexbots will eventually replace sex workers and performers but what is missing in all of this debate is the need for authentic, real relationships and rapport. This realisation is what hopefully any young, intelligent adult will come to without viewing it as "boring". That's your problem right there: fast life, dopamine hits, the next new shiny thing, extremes becoming the norm, kinks and niches becoming vanilla.

TLDR: I am relieved one of my children is a lesbian and the other is asexual. Wink

Also, was it not Henry Vii who was Henry Tudor not Henry Viii? Not sure his mistresses had that much choice. And he married Catherine of Aragon at his dad's behest (Catherine was his dead brother's widow, their marriage kept our allegiance with Spain).

Yabberwok · 31/07/2025 13:30

Onelifeonly · 31/07/2025 09:32

Most likely there have always been young women who will do anything for fame and fortune. Katie Price is a good example. The Internet had just provided more extreme ways to do this. I doubt most young women are keen to follow in Bonnie's footsteps.

PS I didn't watch the programme.

Edited

What I don't understand as a man it why anyone is paying for Katie prices or bonny blues' only fans. Jesus I disgusted by my own sex sometimes. Both are clearly mentally unwell. Katie price has abused her body soooo badly with cosmetic surgery that her future health has to be a concern for her family. Bonny blue looks dead behind the eyes.

Daygloboo · 31/07/2025 13:33

Autumnpug · 31/07/2025 12:33

Didn't say I didn't like it
Just didn't like the emotions that go with it
I was trying to make a point maybe that's why she finds it easier as no emotion involved with sex work

With respect, I think you are rather naive about the realities of sex workers' lives.

SREF2025 · 31/07/2025 13:33

The problem is that we as a society give Bonnie Blue her 15 minutes of fame.

SameOldMe · 31/07/2025 13:34

The other thing that saddens me - is so many posts about anti benefits, don't have children if your poor ect. I really hope no women if ever pushed into this line of work for that reason.

SwedishEdith · 31/07/2025 13:37

"What I found bizarre/heinous was her right hand man/co-producer friend used to work with traumatised kids and has now gone into this line of work. The disconnect there...I have no words."

Yes! I thought that was really disturbing. I also thought he looked exactly like her ex/husband.

Daygloboo · 31/07/2025 13:39

SwedishEdith · 31/07/2025 13:37

"What I found bizarre/heinous was her right hand man/co-producer friend used to work with traumatised kids and has now gone into this line of work. The disconnect there...I have no words."

Yes! I thought that was really disturbing. I also thought he looked exactly like her ex/husband.

The whole thing is creepy, let's be honest.

BlueEyedBogWitch · 31/07/2025 13:43

Oasisagiger · 31/07/2025 10:47

Thankfully I think the majority of women wouldn’t stoop to such low standards to earn money. Most women value their respect more than the lifestyle (I imagine and hope!) I couldn’t think of anything worse than sleeping with 1000 men for money, can you imagine the state of some of them 🤢 No amount of money could get me to do that!

On the other hand, it’s her life and as grim as I find it, if she’s made peace with shagging anything and everything then errr good luck to her I suppose buys it’s a no from me.

I think regret will come later down the line when she’s older and if she has kids. Imagine your kids finding out this, dear me. I would imagine any future relationships with men will be tarred as well, as most men wouldn’t be able to get over her lifestyle choice.

Edited

”Mum, who’s my dad?”
”Birmingham.”

IfThisIsProgressGodHelpUs · 31/07/2025 13:46

Forgot to add - ragebaiting is now the rage amongst certain pupils - it's a term, I hadn't heard of before this year (wind-up merchants/insults about each other's mums, yes).
Saying something they know to be deliberately inflammatory/controversial - that they don't even believe half the time - is the latest craze. No different I guess, from your Katie Hopkins/Piers Morgan of yesteryear but they've now got a new word for it. Damn if I'm not feeling old!

Applepe · 31/07/2025 13:47

Having sex with a thousand inadequate men, whom no one with standards would touch with a barge pole in real life, cannot be empowering.

tangerinemagic · 31/07/2025 13:55

BeardofHagrid · 31/07/2025 13:10

Do other adult stars live rent free in your mind? Just ignore her for gods sake. She’s not doing anything particularly nefarious like some others who use child or Down’s syndrome filters.

Does saying she wanted a disabled gang bang count? Monetising disabled people.

OP posts:
okydokethen · 31/07/2025 13:55

I didn’t let curiosity get the better of me, I didn’t watch it.

The more PR we give it, the more money she makes, it’s disgusting amounts of money and she certainly isn’t a charitable organisation.

We live in a culture of consumerism and income being more important than anything else, so old BB is just capitalising on that.

Daygloboo · 31/07/2025 13:55

Itsforthebest · 31/07/2025 12:23

I've only got time to skim through the thread so apologies if this point has already been made.

The thing that got me more than anything was what Lily Phillips said, in that she was about to have anal sex with multiple men. It made me think that to keep earning money in porn you have to submit to whatever the desires of men are because I'm sure she said previously that anal is something she doesn't do.

She may be making money from being a porn actress but it's hardly a feminist act when ultimately she's unable to say 'no'.

I kind of wish we took the idea of sex out of this and substituted it for abuse. That way I think people could see what it really is.....mentally unstable people allowing themselves to be abused.....ideas of empowerment just muddy the waters.

tangerinemagic · 31/07/2025 13:56

SwedishEdith · 31/07/2025 13:37

"What I found bizarre/heinous was her right hand man/co-producer friend used to work with traumatised kids and has now gone into this line of work. The disconnect there...I have no words."

Yes! I thought that was really disturbing. I also thought he looked exactly like her ex/husband.

I am lost about the ‘husband’ is he her husband or not? Why is he an ex, wasn’t this recently filmed.

OP posts:
LindorDoubleChoc · 31/07/2025 13:57

SREF2025 · 31/07/2025 13:33

The problem is that we as a society give Bonnie Blue her 15 minutes of fame.

Yes, and countless threads on Mumsnet about her. Enough already! Starve her of the oxygen of publicity.

Ihateboris · 31/07/2025 14:07

Op, it's tragic and very worrying. I was getting a manicure the other day and there were two young girls (I'd say 14 or 15)sitting next to me. One of the girls mentioned wanting her lips done and paying for them by doing a Bonnie Blue, I kid you not. If someone wants to shag 100, 500 or 1000 dirty old men to make a living, that's their choice, but trying to promote it to vulnerable, naive girls is another thing.

Topsy44 · 31/07/2025 14:35

goldtrap · 31/07/2025 09:49

I think money, fame, a misplaced sense of 'empowerment' but....also trauma. And being (or not being) accountable. I mean to her family.

The only bit I was interested in, (so may be out of context because I didn't/couldn't watch it all) was when she said she hosted her family for NYE and they all had to be quiet while she filmed her content in another room and they were all joking and saying have you finished yet, and also her mum seemed OK with it.

No one is intervening for her.

No one seems to be saying to her, This isn't OK. Are you OK? This is upsetting. These are not good choices.

Everyone around her seems to be vaildating her and giving her the green light.

It's only busy-bodies/trolls/haters on SM who are big meanies and giving her, like, smh.

I think we should condemn her outright for it tbh, and all the men (some so young! Our next generation!) who participate.

I totally agree with this.

Surely, any decent family would talk to her and let her know she was worth much more than what she’s doing!

NamefromNowhere · 31/07/2025 14:42

SREF2025 · 31/07/2025 13:33

The problem is that we as a society give Bonnie Blue her 15 minutes of fame.

Yes, I agree.
And, taking it back to basics, I also think the fact that the Only Fans site exists at all is a big problem for society.
The internet is an excuse for all sorts of unspeakable crap being labeled 'content' and normalised.

tangerinemagic · 31/07/2025 14:43

Ihateboris · 31/07/2025 14:07

Op, it's tragic and very worrying. I was getting a manicure the other day and there were two young girls (I'd say 14 or 15)sitting next to me. One of the girls mentioned wanting her lips done and paying for them by doing a Bonnie Blue, I kid you not. If someone wants to shag 100, 500 or 1000 dirty old men to make a living, that's their choice, but trying to promote it to vulnerable, naive girls is another thing.

Yes exactly this. Being a 14-15 year old, living within your means ie off pocket money or newspaper rounds is no longer acceptable. Instagram and TikTok, plus reality TV ‘stars’ transformations have made teenagers seek perfection. Back in my day the only thing I envied was Britney’s washboard stomach, I certainly did many crunches in my room aspiring for the same. I can’t imagine today, the pressure to have huge round behinds, perfect teeth, big lips and every post being scrutinised on how you look and how much interaction your post received. I am so glad no social media existed in 2002 when I was 14.

OP posts:
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