To feel sad that non of adult siblings got our baby a card

[Fortiesmummy]

We are a happy blended family both with children we had before we met, who are now adults. We see each other all regularly and all the children get on really well and our younger children much adore their older siblings. However it was our youngest child’s 1st birthday and not one of them bought a card let alone a present, in fact she only received one card from a family member, despite us having quite a large immediate and wider family who we all get on well with. She’s such a lovely baby and very much adored by our local friends. Am I unreasonable to feel a little sad about it?

I'd be absolutely fuming,what the hell is wrong with them,cards cost nothing nowadays,but for special birthdays I make special cards on moonlight.. this is just mean it really is fgs..

I don’t know. They may expect cards or at least presents from their dad I guess. Probably not from their siblings or step mum. My nephews still send cards to older relatives but not to young people.

That is a shame, but cards etc seem to be out of fashion. My brothers text me now on birthdays and special occasions. I know, I know a 1 yo can't text or read ! Family has been very thoughtless. Fortunately baby is none the wiser.

😂😂

The siblings wouldn't bother me as such. However Lack of cards from grandparents would very much annoy me

You have four between you and individually have kids as well? Sounds like a lot of kids, no wonder some of the older ones have lost interest.

Have you got 7 children and 5 of which are adults and two younger ones?.I suspect they have their own independent lives and not really having strong relationship with children who could be their own. There might feel resentful even just being their and having time for them if your busy with young kids.

True, but I'm not sure how many teens and young adults are buying them! Especially the blokes. Looks pretty gendered and generational to me.

We do make a quite an effort to spend time with the adult children and without the little ones (although obviously they are there at weekends) and also help the DC financially who are at uni with what would be any spare money we have, they are all lovely kids, I think it’s more that it just hasn’t crossed their minds. I think one considered buying something for one of their little siblings once but was told by another of their relatives that it wasn’t necessary

The fact you are avoiding saying how many kids there actually are says it all 😆I'm guessing at least 10 then in total between you.

Ha, definitely not 10 😂😂😂😂 nice guess though

Very true, generally is always the adult DC girls who will have boughf cards and presents if they do get given

Maybe blended family bonds aren't so strong, but I would still buy my half sibling - my mum/dad's baby!! - a present for their 1st birthday! I don't tend to give cards to kids now either - at least not babies/toddlers, but I would definitely give a present to my sibling. Like you, I think 1st birthdays are very important and maybe young adults/uni students wouldn't understand this sentiment as such but I would still expect them to gift something little??

I feel sad for you OP too that the grandparents don't seem to have done much either and only one family member anaged to come to the party??!! Luckily you have nicer friends...

To be fair I think for the grandparents its partly their age and finding it more difficult to do and remember things, they did put a lot of effort in wirh the older children when they were younger themselves

Op I feel for you, so would they miss fathers/ mothers day too,
I do know sometimes young adults need prompting, yes they shouldn't but unfortunately sometimes they do,

I think it's OK for you to have a conversation with them all to say how let down you feel, after all little ones first birthday, and yes I get it, we keep those little things as keepsakes, I had memory boxes for mine for important items this being one,
I am a 50s baby with 6 siblings we had no childhood memorable items not even a photo's of us all,

So moving forwards set a boundary as its not much to ask after all,

Did they call or text Happy Birthday to X? My teens don’t sent cards at all. A present seems pointless for a 1 year especially if they are struggling for Money.

Calling or texting a 1 year old seems equally pointless ...

@Omgblueskys No they’re really good when it comes to Mother’s and Father’s Day and our birthdays, some of them have bought little presents for their other little siblings in the past. I think has helped reading through the responses on here as is clear that especially young people perhaps don’t realise the symbolism of a 1st birthday and that the cards are usually kept as mementoes etc. As some people have said, they don’t see the point as babies don’t remember/can’t appreciate and assume that they would just be allowed to rip up/chew the cards. I can see why some people would think that especially with the cake smash trend, I certainly wouldn’t want to go to the effort if parents were going to laugh while their baby ripped up a card. I suppose it can also be hard for people not with your baby regularly to see the baby as the very much individual person and worthy of all the love a child should receive whether they have the novelty value of being the 1st or are the 7th child in a family, all there little ways, achievements and milestones are just as special. All the people who are with her regularly absolutely adore her

Do they give cards to each other?

I suppose it really isn't singling the youngest out, it is just not doing cards between them

Yes we did but only 1 of them came, 1-2 of them had good reasons for not being able to come, the little ones put in alot or effort into doing a really nice card for her. I think maybe a lot of young people these days don’t really see themselves as grown up so unless its their mum or dad dragging them along to their grandma’s party or its something for a sibling they’ve grown up with everyday. Then they don’t feel the social obligation or see why they should go along to a 1 year old’s party if they don’t see it’s worth the effort for themselves

Yes the full siblings seem to, it’s quite sad as parents though as they are all your children, you’ve equally dedicated your life to bringing them up and you don’t see them any differently. Is so hard to wrap head around idea that they would see each other differently

I don’t think youngsters are as big on cards as we are.

Is sad has gone that way, people definitely have less time for each other nowadays

On the one hand, they have their full siblings of similar ages and at similar life stages who they grew up with and spent their whole childhoods with.

On the other hand, they have half-siblings who are 20-odd years younger who they don’t live with full-time or maybe at all?

And you can’t understand why they see them differently? Really?

I'm sorry OP, that does suck. Our babies did receive cards, and those family members who aren't into cards sent little video messages on WhatsApp. We got several presents too.
So you're not unreasonable to feel a little hurt. Getting gifts or cards for my dc does help me feel they are loved and supported.