To feel sad that non of adult siblings got our baby a card

[Fortiesmummy]

We are a happy blended family both with children we had before we met, who are now adults. We see each other all regularly and all the children get on really well and our younger children much adore their older siblings. However it was our youngest child’s 1st birthday and not one of them bought a card let alone a present, in fact she only received one card from a family member, despite us having quite a large immediate and wider family who we all get on well with. She’s such a lovely baby and very much adored by our local friends. Am I unreasonable to feel a little sad about it?

Did you have a party and invite them?
have they all got very busy lives and just forget?
How many siblings are we talking here? 1-2 or more. It does seem strange for a family that all gets along so well to not even send a card for their baby sister.

How old are the children? Are they ok with your relationship generally?

I don't think they're as enamoured with the "blended" family as you think they are.

Some adult children can feel a bit embarrassed when their parents have a baby.

It feels a bit silly buying cards and presents for children who are too young to understand it.

I can't remember if I did for our nieces and nephews or who did for our DC. We didn't for our own at 1.

It doesn't necessarily mean they don't care

They’ve got their own things going on. They also may feel like they’ve been replaced by your new family together. Did you have a party and invite them?

@Clockworkchocolateorange Yes we did have a party and they were all invited, 2 of them did have good reasons for not being there, 1 of them came and was really nice, but no card. 2 other siblings seen her within a day of her birthday but no card either. A card from one of my siblings but no cards from grandparents or her other aunts, uncles, cousins etc. She received lots of lovely cards and beautiful presents from all our friends who came to the party. Unless a party guest do people just not bother with cards these days? (all family were invited but apart from 1 sibling none came)

It doesn't sound a happy family as you think non of them acknowledged their sisters birthday, have you and your husband said anything to them? I don't buy they are busy with their own lives there might be something else going on.

It wasn't just the kids other family too, maybe they see cards as a waste or something,

We do still make a big fuss of them on their birthdays, make an effort to regularly spend time with them, are still giving financial support through uni etc, Yes everyone was invited to her party

Can’t work out who hasn’t sent cards, is it your siblings or the baby’s siblings? I think cards are a dying art to be honest. My brother only sends cards to my kids now because my dad reminds him.

Do they buy cards for all of the other siblings and half siblings?
I'm 40 and don't buy cards, no one I know does.

We’ve kept the cards received for the 1st birthday for all
of our children in their baby boxes and they’ve enjoyed looking at them when they got older

Non? What does that mean?

We’ve got a similar situation and they don’t buy gifts or get the little one a card. I don’t expect it at all. They’re busy at uni

Cards are increasingly out of fashion as they are seen as not environmentally friendly.

i have young adult DC and they don’t really do cards.

i remind them each year about their grandma’s birthday as she is old fashioned and expects cards.

they don’t send Christmas cards at all (to be fair I send much fewer) and birthday cards I think my DD wrote one this year for her best friend and my DS didn’t do any.

I don't really send Christmas cards now, my parents and a few others, I still do Birthday cards though.

Cards aren’t really a ‘thing’ nowadays, are they? But strange to not buy a half-sibling a present on a first birthday, but maybe they don’t feel close?

Sorry to break the news but I never cared that much about my dad's other kids, I don't even know their birthday.
Blended families are rarely happy for everyone.

I've changed my mind about this. It just looks mean sorry.

I think cards are dying a death tbh.

If they're teens/young adults it probably didn't even cross their mind.

If they all adore her and you're otherwise a close family I wouldn't let it bother you. Maybe ask them all to write a little note for her to keep in her baby box?

The new child has at least five adult half siblings then? The two who couldn't attend the party, one who did, and two who saw the child the day before?

Expecting five people to give cards to a baby is a lot. They're largely obsolete.

I can't put my finger on it but I'm not surprised. Maybe they don't feel the need to as they are coming home to see there baby sibling on their birthday, it's more about presence than presents.

Did they get her any presents? You don't mention that?

I'd expect a card to be given in this situation. Do they remember their other siblings birthdays?

The younger generation don’t seem to do cards these days I’ve noticed, my own dc don’t bother with cards for my birthday, I had one birthday card this year although I did get presents and a trip to Beamish 😂.

cards a dying practice I think.

it’s how your family members are with your baby tbh.

i know my dc aren’t that bothered about their own dads other dc, there’s a huge age gap and they are just not that close to them

Well that's easily remedied - buy some cards and write them yourself as if from the other relatives you wish had sent cards.

Just use different pens and change your writing a bit, minimal words.

Job done.