Can’t say it to their face? Say it here

[NappyEverAfter]

I’m hoping this will be cathartic for others as well as me!

Happy birthday, dear friend. I would have loved to have spent it with you - or indeed, any time with you. But while we’re still friends on paper, in reality I haven’t seen you in years, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I can only assume I trigger bad memories for you because I was your confidante when you got yourself into an awful situation.

It feels like you were the one who fucked up, but now you’ve got out of it, while I’m suffering the consequences. I love you and miss you, but I also resent you because I’m paying for your mistakes, so fixing things feels like an impossible dream. And that’s fucking painful.

Thank you to those of you who’ve read this - feel free to unload too!

You said he was abusive and that's why you left but in reality you were just as bad. You are underneath all the fake exterior of caring, a self adsorbed alcoholic who surrounds yourself with people who enable you and call them friends. I know I'll have to care for our parents as they age, you won't help or bring anything to the table. For them I'll be friendly but I'll never forgive the lack of attention you give your nephew. I'll never trust you again and I am at best ambivalent about your life and what is happening in it. A sister should be someone you can rely on but I'll never rely on you. You've hurt my heart enough.

Dear dad part two
By the way calling me fat, on my bloody birthday was not a good idea either. Even if you just "implied" it. That's why I didn't want to go anywhere with you

Dear best friend

I've been more honest with you than anyone else in my life ever. We really connect and our chats make me so happy. I'm in love with you and have been for months but I can't tell you how I feel because I can't be 100% sure that you feel the same way even though you jump at the chance to spend time with me, you say lovely things, you message me all the time and you've hinted around it. I wish I had enough confidence in us to say something. We would be great together, everyone says it and asks if there's something going on.

Dear MIL
you have known me for over 20 years now is the time to get my name correct rather than calling me anything but my actual name. You are rude and in fact a complete and utter bitch. Everyone around you thinks so but is just too afraid to tell you. God forbid anyone should upset you, you miserable fun sucking think as mince bitch I can’t wait till the day you drop down dead

Update the photos of your holiday apartment you duplicitous cow. Sort out your obvious damp problem and provide towels and bed linen without holes. And when a pigeon shits, dies and lodges itself behind a window come and remove it immediately before it makes the whole apartment stink of rotting fish!!!!

Dear everyone who keeps giving me unsolicited and unwanted advice. Unless you can actually be bothered to help please keep your advice on what I should be doing with, well, everything, to yourselves. I genuinely couldn't give a fuck what you think or I would have asked you in the first place. Fuck off.

Stop facilitating their narcissistic thoughts - you are meant to be a professional not a flying monkey. You think you are a friend but you’re doing more harm

Get a fucking job

You are delusional if you think your children will ever want to live with you again or even visit you. You treated them like servants and thought they should be grateful for their messy, dingy hovel that you could never be bothered to clean. Their dad and stepmom actually like them, feed them properly and have given them hope for the future.
Even your dogs were too much trouble to look after, so you sent them back, and every friend you ever have at some point gets sick of your lies, your playing the victim and being used. You never think about anyone but yourself and are incapable of being a proper friend.
Why did I put up with it for so long. You would say you 'can't make arrangements, just pop by'. You never once came to my house. I never saw most of the money I lent you.

I am glad we don't see each other any more. I will keep an eye on you for your kids sake but that's for them, not you

I love you so much. I think about you every day, many times. I want to do so much for you, and make you happy.

But I'm so glad you're gone.

I wish my child had never set eyes on you, you lying cheating, grinning gurning scumbag.
Also pretending to have cancer is particularly low.

Dear mother.
It wasn't fair to tell me about your terrible childhood when I was just a child myself. I couldn't understand and it gave me anxiety my whole life.
And then it also wasn't fair to cover up grandad's alcoholism and act like it was normal for a person to get so drunk they can't walk and will lash out at anyone in the vicinity. I realize you were abused and it's not all your fault but you didn't protect me as much as you thought you did.

Dear ‘best friend’ I wasn’t lying to you when I told you your partner is a dangerous pervert. The 3 women before me that spoke up should have been enough yet you still called me a liar. I hope when you are laying in bed with him at night everything I told you runs through your brain and one day you run far far away from him. Cutting me off doesn’t make it any less true!

I have a feeling I cannot shake. Please protect yourself. I know you are newly married and it is all rainbows and sunshine but I love you and know you the most,I birthed you and I don;t want you to be hurt. I can see signs you will be and it hurts me cos you cannot see things as I do. So I will love you always and my door is always open sweetheart and I will pick you up and put you back together again all my life.

Dear Auntie, you came to my parents house asking for money which they gave freely thinking it was for bills when really it was to fund your son's drug habit. Next time you ring my lovely parents, I'm going to call you out, I'm going tell your oldest two sins what their mum is doing. They'll be embarrassed and so will you. I'll ring the police then I'll come to your house and tell all the family everything. Mess with my parents again and I'll fuck up your cozy little retirement. Dick.

I cant really add anything because i do say it how i see it to their face`s.

You are a horrible, abusive little man. You have absolutely ruined my life, destroyed me. Broken me. You make me question my reality daily and are trying to drive me insane. I'm with you because you have broken me so much that I can't leave, yet I despise you more than anything. I hate myself because of you. I have never met such an entitled nasty bully. I pray that when I leave you, your whole life falls apart because really you have nobody.

Love this. But some of the posts have made me cry.

When you bring the proof then I will believe you. If it happened there must be some proof but still a year later and you can't show me anything.
But I guess there is no proof so why can't you just leave them alone and let them get on with their lives.
Your plan failed and you are still trying the same shit over and over with no evidence of anything.

dear library patrons,
you are so fucking rude. Rude, entitled, and obnoxious. Just because I am here to help does not mean you get to snap at me, treat me badly, demand my energy, dump your upsets on me, flirt with me, make personal remarks.
when you walk up and say nothing, just slam books down, I can’t read your mind. If I ask if you’re checking them out, it’s because people return things to me, too. Don’t be an arsehole and snap at me, or talk to me like I’m stupid. You’re the one who is stupid.
We process many thousands of things a month. Don’t expect me to give you anything immediately. Immediate is for the Hospital, and I don’t get paid enough to treat this like an emergency.
if you are “in too much of a hurry” to be civil, don’t come to the library. Just don’t come.
fuck OFF with your entitled behavior. Fuck OFF with slamming the slip down with your initials on it- if you took the time to read, you could see that it doesn’t have your full name. I’m not looking anyone up from that slip.
fuck OFF with your complaints about the unhoused. They are FAR better behaved than you. Fuck OFF with your children shouting and racing around. You are not more entitled than anyone else because you fulfilled a basic biological function. Your children are not more special than any person in this library.

in fact, just fuck off. Fuck all the way off. I’m so sick and tired.

I can relate to this. We were so close. Spent years looking helping my sister when her kids were little and her marriage broke up.

I had my kids after many years of heartbreak. We live 20 mins apart and I’d say she has looked after them 3 times in 13 years. Twice because my I had to bring my husband to A+E. The third time I came back and she’d left my 2 year old in the care of her 8 year old.

Sending you peace , I relate to this one so much ❤️

To epilepsy… I fucking hate you with every fibre of my being.. for appearing unannounced out of the fucking blue with no warning.. for what you’re doing to my bright, funny, caring, loving, 14year old son and for changing his fucking life and future! Fuck off to the other side of fuck off and disappear for ever and let us go back to how we were 10 months ago 💔

Did shouting at me in public make you feel big? Did reducing a pregnant stranger to tears make your day better? Did throwing around empty threats give you a power trip? Hope you had a terrible rest of the day too.

Why did you really let me go off to grow up with an abusive parent? Have you ever loved me? Why didn't you turn up to court and fight for me? Do you ever miss me? Do you even regret having a child who hasnt been in your life whilst you've raised all of your other children?
Sometimes I hate you for abandoning me to grow up with him. Sometimes I wonder if you were so scared of having to raise me with him around that I understand. What I don't understand is your response to me since being an adult.
Fuck you for trying for them but not for me. Fuck you for sitting there when I was 15 years old telling me, along with your friend, that you never wanted me and that you had more important things going on (my siblings).
I hope I haunt you somewhere deep down and you take that haunting to the grave.