Can’t say it to their face? Say it here

[NappyEverAfter]

I’m hoping this will be cathartic for others as well as me!

Happy birthday, dear friend. I would have loved to have spent it with you - or indeed, any time with you. But while we’re still friends on paper, in reality I haven’t seen you in years, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I can only assume I trigger bad memories for you because I was your confidante when you got yourself into an awful situation.

It feels like you were the one who fucked up, but now you’ve got out of it, while I’m suffering the consequences. I love you and miss you, but I also resent you because I’m paying for your mistakes, so fixing things feels like an impossible dream. And that’s fucking painful.

Thank you to those of you who’ve read this - feel free to unload too!

Dear SM,

You may be 82 and may or may not have some form of MH or neurological issues, but the way you attacked my DF after 40 years of a relationship and 25 years of marriage was utterly callous and unforgivable. You rendered him homeless and his last year of life was spent wracked with worry about you and fighting for a secure place to live. Your horrible rant and delusional phone calls are recorded for posterity. Your house will never sell for the price you've got it listed for because it's a mausoleum to your dead parents. If you think your dear cousin up North is encouraging you to move there for any other reason than being a beneficiary in your will, you're sorely deluded, as she said to my Dad once that you've always been hard work.

When you were told of Dads death you said you didn't want to go to his funeral and that I could have a whip round to pay for it. You used the MH system to get rid of him from your life, painting yourself as the victim after he spent his life saying "how high" when you said jump. You isolated and emotionally abused him, then you discarded him for fantasies of eligible gents lining up to take you for expensive lunches and fund your shopping habit. You accused me of stealing from you, being in a cult and prostituting myself, and whined that I didn't give you a present last Christmas when you'd blocked Dad from contacting you, but rang him to rant and rave whenever you were bored and all the whole he was wasting away, still loving you, still worrying about you.

I hope you rot in hell. You essentially killed my Dad.

Why does everything have to be a competition, with you always winning. Even Illnesses are turned into "I'm more ill than you" If you can't win why do you have to put me down and undermine me. You know all the things that upset me, all the things I am sensitive about, all my secrets and you use them to deliberately put me down and be-little me with others. We should be really close but I have to keep my guard up, and try and decipher what your motive is in everything you say and do.

You are the most selfish, self involved person on the face of the planet and you should be so ashamed of your actions and behaviour but you won't because you don't possess the self awareness. And you are actually capable of asking about and taking an interest in other people, doing so might bore you but it won't actually kill you and is sometimes nice to do. Admittedly that is not a concept with which you are familiar.

Also other people's holiday photos are as boring as hell and I don't want to see them. Thank you and goodbye.

Brothers, I'm sad that you are not really here for me. One of you fucked off to Australia snd the other one is miles away and since Mum died you haven't bothered so much. You're really important to me but seems I'm not so important to you.

I want you gone. You've taken everything from me. I can see now why your ex cheated on you. Your head was so far up your mother's arse, I did everything to help you and you turned your back on me over and over giving excuses over and over. No wonder your kids don't talk to you or want anything to do with you. My only consolation is you and your mothers beliefs will cause you suffering in the next life. You never cared for me and were too cowardly to admit it.
I hope you and her die in agony. Your lies gnawing at your soul.
Burn in hell cuntface.

Fuck me that felt good to write 😂xx

God there’s more than one of them in the world. That’s scary

Dear radio station

We don't effing care about Dolly's first birthday, certainly not enough to rabbit on and on about it for 2 mornings in a row! Find another topic to engage with your listeners!

Dear ex

I am so glad I slept with you 3 weeks ago
I thought I'd regret it but I don't
However you narcissistic, self absorbed , flaky c**t it's not because if the reasons you think.
You gave me the ick in a massive way, my stomach turned when you kissed me , your touch made me cringe , you body and face made me feel disgust.
When you spoke I felt my eyes roll.
The thing is the 4 months we've been apart I've had time to myself & I have found myself again.
It was like sleeping with you again gave me clarity .
The old me would be making myself feel bad for doing it. The new me thinks it's the best thing since sliced bread!
I got my closure. I am and always have been way too good for you.
I will never let you touch my body again.
You thought we had a great time and all the while I'm looking at you like I was seeing the real you for the first time
The rose tinted glasses have finally fallen
I am free and I am happy 😊
I've deleted your number

Wow I cannot believe how I used to wait for you to show me I meant something to you while all along I was forgetting that I mean something to me.

I'm a great person, you fucked up

Bye bye 👋

What a great thread. So many are so sad. I’ve nothing to say as even on here, I’m too shy, just in case I’m outed!

I haven't seen one of these threads for a bit!

Dear friend, you are a lovely person and longstanding friend and I am so sorry I dodge and cancel stuff but it's because sometimes I just don't have the strength to deal with your indecisiveness, constant fussing and people-pleasing. It drives me so insane I want to scream and you don't deserve that. I have no clue how to bring it up without being mean.

Mum, no I can't ever forgive you, please can we not talk about it. I'm doing my best to be as supportive and available as I can in your old age, it's not easy when you live in the arse end of nowhere, refuse to move and have alienated your other DC. Please would you read the room and not try to pretend we're best mates. God I feel like a bitch now.

Friend, you are fab but you need to get your teeth sorted if you want dating to work out better for you. Don't get another tattoo get your teeth properly cleaned!

Neighbour, your violin playing still sucks and it's been years with no improvement. Maybe it's not for you?

We were only warned about you after you accepted the role and you have consistently bullied and made life unpleasant for those around you ever since. Nobody wants to take it further because they would have to still deal with you. You acted shocked at the whistle-blower who revealed there was a staff member who exploited their issues with a viciousness I have never seen before but I know it was you. On my final day I will finally get to tell you what an evil cow you are.

For an intelligent man, you are being so fucking stupid right now. She is manipulating you and you can’t see it. You cannot protect her and frankly, I’ve seen more intelligent yoghurts. Engage your brain and stop getting distracted by her tits.

I know I’ve made several mistakes and I can give you nothing. It doesn’t stop the fact that you would be better with me. A team. Not a dependant who uses you. And the worst bit is you know it’s true. You’ve told me how good we would be. But I am stuck and I can’t ask you to wait. So I am cursed to just watch you skip into oncoming traffic and I can’t stop you. But know this - when she drops you, I will not crawl to you. You can come to me and prove what you told me. I’d rather be alone in a crowded room than beg you, despite loving every atom of you.

Dear GP who ruined my life

I know you were trying to help me, in a desperate state and situation, where I would probably have been sent to a mental health hospital and had a breakdown... but it was possibly made difficult by me and my "non-compliant" ways as a patient, not having insight into my condition, its seriousness, and my treatment options.

But, you did destroy my life. You gave me a neurotoxic drug that injured me after I'd already had a concussion. The medication was meant to help me, but it didn't. It damaged me, injured me, and gave me a horrible shitty neurological involuntary movement disorder that is hideous, embarrassing, ridiculous, and permanent. It's very hard accepting that i have to live with this forever, knowing it's like a combination of Tourette's and Parkinson's disease, but with no treatment for it.

I think it's safe to say that I hated you for a while and even wished you could go through the crap I'd endured, just for a day, to see how terrible and terrifying it is.

I'm a lot less angry now, but occasionally shout out at the medical centre that I pass by regularly, hoping our paths never meet again.

I think I will forgive you but my movement disorder won't let me forget. 💔

Dear sister, I miss you and think of you every day but I know everything is for the best and for the path of least conflict. I think of you every day and every night before bed. I wish our parents hadn't laid such a broken foundation for all 3 of us.

Please forgive me for not helping you enough. I will never, ever, forgive myself and I will love you forever Mum.

Why should we have to put up with someone who won’t admit they have addiction issues just because we’re related? You can garantee every time we let that back into our lives you do something to spoil it and have a major tantrum. After the last incident there’s no way I want you stepping foot in my house again ever. If I never see you again it will be too soon.

The next time we have lunch, can you not shout talk about your vaginal dryness and your new cream the GP has given you? The poor couple sat behind you refused a dessert to get away from us. Again, next time, please don’t complain about the menu and how expensive you think it is. I know how much you earn - and finally, I would be grateful if you would ask me a question about my life occasionally and please stop talking long enough to take a breath.

If I was to hear that someone had to stop working, I'd be happy if it were you. I left lots of lovely colleagues when I changed jobs but you weren't one of them. Hearing from my friend who still has to work with you, I understand that you are still a horrible individual. May a mirror form around you to reflect back what you give out.

Wow you must work with the same person I do. Been there 10 months and still can't do the job!!

Dd we all tried to warn you. Now he has taken all your money and made you and my Gd homeless. In his relentless need to punish you for daring to answer him back he has informed on you (falsely) to your workplace, to inland revenue. He has made false accusations to the police and destroyed your dds toys. I hate him more than I can say. But although I will never say it or show it I am so cross with you for ignoring all the red flags that the rest of us could see so clearly.

You almost ruined me. My business, my marriage, my piece of mind. Thank god we got out before you could. I wonder if you know what you done or are completely oblivious.
you are a liar.
I absolutely hate every fibre of you, you complete and utter bastard. I hope you get the life you deserve.

Dear neighbour, please stop using a sledge hammer to "cut" wood on the concrete foundations before all the houses fall down.

You ruined my life. Yes, you had a crappy upbringing but you didn't have to take it out on me.

And now I'm expected to help take care of you because you're a poor muddled old lady with dementia, while I'm still living in the wreckage, and everyone else who doesn't know how you treated me wonders why I'm not nicer to you.

But I can hardly stand to be in the same room as you, still.

And worse still, you've even blighted my relationship with my DD. Yes, I treated her far better than you treated me, but I had no fucking clue how to mother a daughter because you never mothered me.

I am so bloody proud of the things she can do that up to now I'm too frightened to do because you broke my spirit, and thanks to you I ended up being involved in abusive relationships because I had no idea what normal looked or felt like or that I deserved better.

My DD doesn't understand that if there were times when I kept my distance it was because I was afraid of being a bad influence on her by unknowingly doing to her what you did to me.

I miss her and I grieve every day that I wasn't a better mother to her. But if I end up paying the price for that, it's okay once she's happy and brave and free to be herself.

But I'll never forgive you, and the best I can do is pity you as another human being, not feel affection and compassion because you're my mother. Because you're not and you never were.

I loved you for a long time after you left. I really couldn’t cope. It sent me into such a mental spiral, and I’m not sure how I coped, Looking back it was toxic and it was a very poisonous relationship. It was nothing but heartache and I’m sorry I wasted four years of my life on that. I’m such a changed woman now - completely different to the one that you knew. I dread bumping into you, so I think if I ever see you I’ll walk on by and pretend that I haven’t. It’s not that I’m scared, it’s just that I do not like drama and those years with you were the most chaotic of my life. Now I just seek peace and calm,

If you comment anymore on what we choose to spend our money on (eg holidays) and leave snarky comments on social media posts I will have to say something. You are happy to borrow money off me every month but then feel the need to comment on what we spend money on? I don’t comment on you r debt issues - the reason you’re in debt because you enable & spoil your child because you feel guilty do I? You won’t accept advice on how to save money each month just keep buying said child more things and paying for the 15 clubs they attend. They can’t be (& arent) good at everything!

im also sick of hearing about your ex - it’s been 6 years get over it!

to my colleague - you earn £££ more than me and manage a team - yet don’t seem capable of doing the job and slag off the system when you won’t learn it. Cone back to me when you’ve took time to understand it & can do your staff’s job - maybe we will respect you then.