Can’t say it to their face? Say it here

[NappyEverAfter]

I’m hoping this will be cathartic for others as well as me!

Happy birthday, dear friend. I would have loved to have spent it with you - or indeed, any time with you. But while we’re still friends on paper, in reality I haven’t seen you in years, even though I’ve done nothing wrong. I can only assume I trigger bad memories for you because I was your confidante when you got yourself into an awful situation.

It feels like you were the one who fucked up, but now you’ve got out of it, while I’m suffering the consequences. I love you and miss you, but I also resent you because I’m paying for your mistakes, so fixing things feels like an impossible dream. And that’s fucking painful.

Thank you to those of you who’ve read this - feel free to unload too!

@Didimum wins the internet today 😂

Sister, why do you not make one iota of effort to be involved with my daughter, your only niece? She loves you so much and it's become the only reason I continue to try and arrange seeing you. But every time I do your busy or your seeing someone else and that we should arrange something soon, yet you never make the effort to arrange anything.

You have been off work for over a year now after being made redundant, a perfect time to have seen your niece, even if for just an hour ever 3-4 weeks but absolutely nothing. You even only turned up at her birthday party for an hour as you had other plans.

It makes me sad to think it was the complete opposite with me and your son when he was this age. I saw him every week for at least an hour, taking him to places and building a relationship. Only COVID stopped that and then school but even now I still see him every other week at our relatives house.

She's starting school soon, you have missed your chance to be a wonderful Auntie. Yet, she still loves you.

Dear former best friend and colleague. I have never felt so betrayed in all my life as I did when you broke off all contact with me after October 7 because you see my religion and culture as hateful. You would deny it till you’re blue in the face as you see yourself as some sort of fucking Mahatma Gandhi but you are an antisemite and I ought to have known that back in 2016 when you told me I ought to keep the Holocaust “in perspective.” Well, fuck you.

I'm sorry, but I consider this pointless and useless.

I can't help wondering how many times you've reached out to propose meeting the friend for lunch or dinner. Or failing that, if you've made some efforts by postal mail.

Of course, sometimes friends do dump us for unknown reasons, but the mere fact that you've posted this here makes me suspect that you haven't tried other avenues in real life. I've had this situation a couple of times, but since I did reach out by telephone calls and by mail, it enabled me to avoid obsessing about it, since I knew I did everything I could.

You are a bully. You put others down to make yourself feel and look better. It is cruel. It is nasty. It is really really unfair. It is very poor leadership and the mark of someone unintelligent, manipulative and psychologically damaged. I do not look up
to you. I do not respect you. I am deserving of far better.

I hope you get a horrible disease and die a slow and painful death you evil cunt

DMIL, your PFB didn’t come home to help care for you and DFIL, he came home because he was arrested for sexual assault and had to leave the country. He will not be getting back with his wife, she has an injunction out against him and will call the police if he comes anywhere close and he will be jailed. Oh and it wasn’t her he assaulted by the way. He is not saving for his own home while he lives with you, he’s paying off his debts, drinking too much and occasionally splurging on sex workers. And that is why I can barely bring myself to look at him.

He's feeding you the play book. He won't leave his wife. They never do.

Your husband was very quick to try and get with me after you split. Seems you made the right decision, he's a massive bell end.

Sister, stop messaging me, I will never reply.

You are a terrible teacher. It makes me so angry that the students do not fulfil their potential in your class, and I have to try and unpick your fuck ups each year. Teaching is not a job for someone whose heart is not in it, and yours is not. The kids and your colleagues deserve better. I really wish you'd just fucking leave.

You made my life a misery at work and made me lose what little confidence I had left. You were nasty to me in such a sneaky way that no one else noticed and they all think you are a nice person.That is apart from the other person who you treated the same way and is 10 times the person you are. Plus the other 2 people who totally see through you. I know you were jealous of me but there was no need to be.You were mean not to include everyone at your wedding.
I hope Karma kicks you in your fat arse along with your double chin. That will probably be the time when you find out that your dh is playing away with his colleague.

I rue the day you joined the company I worked for. You came in with your fake smiles and your sly ways and slimed into position as my manager - and then you made my life hell until I became ill.

I hope you suffer. I hope you die in absolute agony, slowly and miserably. If you were drowning, I wouldn't even throw you a concrete lifebelt. You deserve to rot slowly because you are a truly evil woman.

Please, ladies and gentlemen, just read the emails properly before calling me on my day off. Please.

I have been cut off by a family member because I invited her to my graduation dinner but not the graduation ceremony. I understand it hurt you but you also tried to shove me into a fire pit when drunk and that is why I chose not to invite you to the ceremony, that too was very hurtful. I feel like that song "one of these is not like the other", surely these are not equal!!!!

I didn't have the guts to completely cut you off but now that you have, it is so fucking peaceful. Thank you, in a weird way.

Yes, I felt it too. That lightning bolt between us. The off the charts chemistry every time we see each other and the way we just slip into easy conversation as though we’ve known each other for years. But nothing can come of it.

Dear neighbour,

I love that your children want to play with mine.
I do not love that the second you see my garage door open, I pull out my camping chair and take up my supervisory post on my driveway, that you allow your 3 and 4 year olds to come bounding across the road without looking, and just assume that I’m totally fine with providing a free babysitting service 🫠
Your children are TINY. Barely more than toddlers.

• Number one: I think it’s bloody cheeky that you assume I’m happy to watch them for you.
• Number two: You don’t know me from Adam, we’ve literally never had a single conversation and yet you’re happy to leave your toddlers under the supervision of a total stranger?
• Number 3: Your children have zero concept of road safety. They run back and forth between your driveway and mine with reckless abandon, no matter how many times I remind them to stop and look for cars before they go. If one of them ends up hit by a car, I’m assuming you’re going to want to blame me for it? In the event of that, I refer you back to the above points.

I will feel far more relief than sadness when you die. I certainly won't feel loss.

Dear colleague

You are a toxic micromanager. You wonder why nobody around you shows any initiative: it's because you are relentlessly negative about any idea or piece of work that doesn't come from you. Your team's skills are getting worse because you are draining away their confidence and autonomy.

I am using the executive coaching you are paying for to work out how to leave your sphere as quickly as possible.

Also, your jobshare partner hates you.

My ex friend. I hate you. I hate you so much. You stupid, horrible c.u.n.t. I did so much for you at work, helped you, I was always there for you. You betrayed me. And I hate you for it. I wouldn’t even care if you died. I hope one day someone hurts you like you hurt me. Your husband is a twat too, getting his ex pregnant and you stopping him seeing his other kids. You are self absorbed and I despise you. I also wish I didn’t mourn the friendship, I hate you for that too you vile bitch.

I will do everything I can to love you as you deserve to be loved. You are so good to me.
But I dont love you like I loved him. I still think about him every day.

I’m so utterly in love with you but I can’t believe that after almost 13 years you still won’t be in a relationship with me. Just unbelievable. You are quite a selfish person and love the sound of your own voice. You are not gods gift, you are really not!

Why couldn't you appreciate everything i did, how much I loved you and how happy we were. I cared for you when sick, cooked for you, helped your mum, supported you in grief. If you loved me, why couldn't you handle me being a mum as well as your partner? You forced my hand and I chose them. And now you're alone.

Dear dad
I don't want you staying anymore because I hate how your moods and ill thought words make everyone feel like they are walking on eggshells.. i love you but I won't be made to feel uncomfortable in my home.

I should have cut you off long ago. You attempted to control every big moment in my life by manipulating, causing arguments and spewing pure vitriol at your son and my family. You isolated your husband from all his family and friends and abused your son emotionally and verbally all through his life. You arrived late to my babies funeral, as we sat there in that small chapel with the tiny coffin you arrived full of your own grief and sobbed on my shoulder. Your legacy to my marriage has been a husband who struggles with self abandonment, depression and trauma. You are a poor excuse for a mother and I hate that my children share any genetic traits with you.

Hello dearest XXXXX,
I have been hurting more than I have ever hurt in my life for the past 8 months, since we parted ways so brutally. You have made me question and doubt who I am, what type of person I am, and what I am capable of. I am traumatised by what you utter me through. And more humiliated than I can ever say.
We shared a journey, I invited you into my grief and you always said it was a privilege. I always thought you were a kind and gentle person. There were never any red flags.
I see you at least once a week, and each week I pray that this will be the day that you apologise. I feel reduced stepping inside that one place that was once my space space. I don't feel the same as the others anymore. I am hyper vigilant and I get so nervous each time and leave drained. I have cried most days for 8 months and that is exhausting.
But I haven't written you off. I can only think you were going through an incredibly dark time yourself to act like that towards me. I still read your emails and I wonder - which version of you is the real one. I can only hope the one I knew before.
God bless you. And if I had to go back and choose someone to do as you did back when you first met my family, I would still choose you.

You are lonely now because of things you have done in the past, if you had some humility and self awareness things could be very different. Everyone has distanced themselves as a means of self preservation. I used to get upset but now I just feel sad for you.

I also won’t be at your funeral, we talked about direct cremation and you said ‘it wasn’t for you’, well you won’t get the choice as it will be for me to arrange and I don’t want to listen to people saying how wonderful you were as I know the truth.